


Three for the Price of One

by stellarsketches



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Alternate Universe - Succubi & Incubi, Apologies, Bachelor Parties, Biting, Comeplay, Drabble Collection, Drunken Shenanigans, Established Relationship, Fluff, Frequent Date Nights, Handcuffs, Ice Skating, Kageyama has sisters in one au, Kageyama is good at everything, Karaoke, Karasuno Family, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Moving In Together, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstimulation, Power Dynamics, Public Blow Jobs, Rimming, Semi-Frequent Art, Sex Tapes, Sex Toys, Sleepovers, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Threesome - M/M/M, Webcam/Video Chat Sex, asahi gets drunk on exactly one glass of pink moscato, asexual!Oikawa, camboy au, i can't believe it took 23 chapters to get to rimming, iwaoikage has binge watched yoi, oikawa is an iconic power vers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2018-07-15 17:36:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 52,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7232119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarsketches/pseuds/stellarsketches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various ot3 shenanigans, ranging from fluff to smut, canon to au, anything goes!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hickeys

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about ot3s is "two boyfriends, twice the hickies"

All three of them are in a tangle, simultaneously kissing, groping, and walking to the bedroom. The heat between them is scalding as they pant hotly on overheated skin. Everything’s just a jumble of sensation, Kageyama can barely breathe, and he doesn’t think he wants to.

They all tumble into the room, panting and disoriented until Iwaizumi drops heavily onto the edge of the bed pulling Kageyama with him into his lap. Oikawa wastes no time, dropping to his knees and running his hands all over Kageyama’s thighs.

Shuddering, Kageyama covers his mouth with a hand to stifle his noises because the walls are thin in their apartment and he really feels bad for their neighbors every time they start fooling around. His resolve to be silent is wavering because Oikawa’s tongue is tracing every inch of his inner thighs, biting and sucking every once in a while, and Iwaizumi is tracing his thumbs in firm circles around his nipples.

Iwaizumi is pressing kisses all over Kageyama’s neck; he traces a path from Kageyama’s jaw to the tender spot between his neck and shoulder before biting down. Hard. Kageyama can’t help moaning out loud, hand falling from his mouth.

His arms are pinned to his body as the bites continue. Oikawa attacks his thighs, occasionally licking at Kageyama’s length, while Iwaizumi bites at his neck and shoulder alternating between sharp bites and gentle licks.

Kageyama’s shaking, overstimulated, each bite is hard enough to leave marks, and he wonders what’s wrong with him because he’s loving every bite.

Iwaizumi leaves marks all over Kageyama’s chest as he takes him on his back, abusing the younger’s nipples until his eyes are rolling back and writhing on the sheets. Oikawa bites all over Kageyama’s back as he fucks him on all fours. He even rakes his nails down Kageyama’s back in a possessive gesture as he comes.

 

Xx

 

Afterwards they lie together in a jumbled heap, basking in the afterglow. Kageyama is drifting off to sleep when he feels a hand poking at the bruises on his chest.

“We marked you so everyone knows you’re ours,” Oikawa says lowly.

Kageyama opens his eyes as Iwaizumi rolls over so they’re both looking at Oikawa blankly. “You’re so lame,” they both groan at the same time.

“Aww I thought that was plenty romantic,” Oikawa whines.

 

Xx

 

Kageyama pulls off his jacket and wraps it around his waist, it’s so _hot_ why the hell would he wear this jacket—

“OH MY GOD!”

It all hits him at once.

“KAGEYAMA!” Hinata yells “YOUR NECK IS ALL RED!”

“Shut up, dumbass!” Kageyama hisses taking a swipe at his friend. Hinata dodges the attack, and continues to stare at the numerous amounts of hickies disappearing into the collar of Kageyama’s shirt.

“Don’t tell me those are hickies,” Hinata says, less horrified now that he sees it isn’t some kind of rare deadly rash that’s gonna kill his best friend.

“And if they are?” Kageyama challenges, swatting away the hand that reaches up to poke at the bruises.

“But how did you get so _many?_ They’re everywhere!”

Kageyama can’t help the blush that creeps across his cheeks to his ears. Hinata notices Kageyama’s embarrassment and immediately catches on. He makes a squawking noise and jumps back, face as red as his hair.

“What can I say,” Kageyama smirks, face still red “Two boyfriends mean twice the hickies.”


	2. Skype Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Distance (and Skype) makes the heart grow fonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skype smut warning

Oikawa stares at the glowing red numbers of the clock on the nightstand until his vision blurs _. 2:03 AM_ hovers there menacing, and he rolls over to face the wall with a huff.

He didn’t think a two day training seminar for his job would pose any issues, but falling asleep alone for the first time in years is taking a toll on him. Three years of curling beside two other warm bodies makes the cold sheets of a hotel bed unsatisfying regardless of how soft the mattress is.

So caught up in pouting, Oikawa almost misses the sound of his Skype message alarm. Almost.

Immediately Oikawa dives for his phone, mood improving exponentially when he sees it’s from Iwaizumi.

 

_Hajim€: You awake_

_SpaceExplorerT00ru: nope no ones home~~_

_Hajim€: Don’t be a smart ass, Tooru_

_SpaceExplorerT00ru: but i was just answerin ur questionnnnn_

_Hajim€: Keep being an asshole I won’t give you your surprise_

_SpaceExplorerT00ru: !!!!!111!!!! &&& GIMMEGIMMIEGIMMEI_

_Hajim€: …do you have your tablet w/ you?_

_SpaceExplorerT00ru: yes?_

_Hajim€: Go get it._

_SpaceExplorerT00ru: oooookayyy?_

 

Oikawa gets up immediately to retrieve his tablet from his overnight bag; he doesn’t want to waste anytime bothering Iwaizumi about an explanation. Whatever his boyfriend is planning has to be good; Iwaizumi isn’t the type to message people at two AM for nothing.

_SpaceExplorerT00ru: i got it!_

 

He sends the message as he settles back in bed with the tablet in his lap, excited to see what this surprise is. Instead of sending a message back, Iwaizumi sends a request for a video call. Curiously, Oikawa accepts the call and what he sees makes him drop the tablet with a yelp.

Both his boyfriends are wearing nothing but their underwear, Iwaizumi, tight black briefs, and Kageyama in lacy pink panties that leave nothing to the imagination. Kageyama’s sitting in Iwaizumi’s lap and both of them are looking into the webcam blatantly amused at Oikawa’s reaction.

“I told you he’d be surprised.” Kageyama says smugly.

“Y-yeah you got me good,” Oikawa manages as he rights the tablet again. “But is showing me your underwear the extent of the surprise--not that you don’t look super cute in that underwear I picked out, Tobio-chan!”

“Mm, no, there’s more,” Iwaizumi smiles, rearranging Kageyama in his lap and hooking a thumb in the waistband of the panties.

Oikawa gets the hint.

“Is this really a good idea? I mean--” Oikawa glances at the door that separates his room in the suite from the one with his colleague. The odds of his, admittedly chatty coworker barging into his room at 2:15 in the morning are very low, but there’s always a risk.

“Ah, if you don’t want to, Oikawa-san, we’ll just continue without you,” Kageyama reaches out to presumably turn off the webcam.

“Don’t you dare, Tobio-chan.” Kageyama freezes immediately, arm still outstretched. “Now both of you get naked.”

“You’re so bossy,” Iwaizumi smirks pushing Kageyama forward to remove his own underwear.

“But you love me anyway,” Oikawa strips out of his clothes and waits impatiently for the other two to get situated. His mouth waters when Iwaizumi lifts Kageyama’s thighs up so Oikawa has a good look at Kageyama’s entrance, already slick and prepared.

Noticing Oikawa’s rapt attention on him, Kageyama flushes and leans further back into Iwaizumi’s hold on him. Iwaizumi starts rubbing his lubed cock over Kageyama’s entrance, over and over until both Kageyama and Oikawa are whining in anticipation.

“Stop being such a tease, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says through his teeth, all in an effort to not touch himself yet.

“I guess I can hurry it up, just for you.”

The noise Kageyama makes when Iwaizumi finally pushes in is downright sinful, and Oikawa can’t help but to bring his hand up to start fisting his own dick. He watches intently as Kageyama takes over, bringing himself down on Iwaizumi’s dick with enough fervor that Oikawa can practically taste the lust through the screen. Both of his lovers are flushed and sweaty, and Oikawa can’t help but to tell them how good they look and all the things he’s gonna do once he gets back. Soon Oikawa’s reaching his tipping point.

But in the end, it’s the oh-so-sensual visual of Iwaizumi coming into Kageyama, as he strokes the other to completion, that pushes Oikawa over the edge.

“That was nice,” he says appreciatively, leaning back into the pillows.

“Mmhm,” Kageyama hums, nearly asleep against Iwaizumi.

“We’ll see you tomorrow then, Tooru?”

“Yup, and you’re gonna give me another surprise when I come home, right?”

“Don’t push your luck,” Iwaizumi growls.

Kageyama laughs before ending the call.

 

Thoroughly sated, Oikawa falls asleep the moment his head hits the pillow, dreaming about another surprise from his super cute boyfriends involving a few blindfolds, a riding crop, and a can of whipped cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they indulge oikawa too much lol. this idea hit me right before i went to sleep one night


	3. Iwaoikage's Big Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama finally moves in with Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at this! fluff! it isn't filthy! ah but's there's mentions of sex in here of course.

By the time they’re turning on the street of Kageyama’s apartment, Oikawa’s nearly bouncing in the passenger seat. For once Iwaizumi doesn’t call him on his childish behavior because he can’t stop tapping his fingers against the steering wheel with the same excited energy.

They have every reason to be excited. For the first time in their relationship, all three of them are going to be living under the same roof. Iwaizumi still can’t quite believe it. He can’t wait for Tobio to fill in the empty space in their king sized bed.

Oikawa doesn’t even wait for Iwaizumi to kill the engine before he’s out the car and jogging towards the apartment complex. They don’t make it far before they hear very familiar voices.

“Kageyamaaa, I don’t want you to leave!”

“Get off me dumbass!”

“No! You’re leaving me alone in the apartment!”

“Our lease is up, idiot! And you’re moving in with Kenma next week!”

“But that’s so long without youuu! I’m gonna miss you so much Kageyama!”

The source of the noise is unsurprisingly Kageyama and Hinata, the former is carrying a multitude of bags, a duffel back is hanging around his neck, and the latter is being dragged along from the vise grip he has on Kageyama’s waist.

“Tobio-chan! You’re going to hurt yourself carrying all this stuff at once!” Oikawa admonishes, rushing up to take some bags for himself.

“I didn’t want to make more than one trip.”

“Because he wants to leave meeee!” Hinata wails squeezing Kageyama tighter.

“But won’t you see him all the time at volleyball practice, Shrimpy-chan?” Oikawa reaches out to pet Hinata like he was a small child.

“It’s not the same!” Oikawa locks eyes with Kageyama and shrugs. Hey, he tried.

Iwaizumi walks up to the trio, laughing because Hinata has been moping about the two of them moving away from each other for two whole months now.

“Don’t worry, Hinata, we’ll take good care of him,” Hinata looks up when Iwaizumi speaks and his expression immediately clears. He releases Kageyama to bounce up to Iwaizumi and grab his hands enthusiastically.

“I’m counting on you,” Hinata says, emphasizing the _you,_ and glancing distrustfully at Oikawa who squawks offended. “Kageyama’s kind of an airhead, so don’t let him hurt himself and miss practice, okay?”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi promises.

 

Xx

 

 

On the elevator ride up, Kageyama starts shifting from foot to foot and biting his lip in an attempt to keep his pleased smile from stretching across his face. Honestly it’s distractingly cute and Iwaizumi’s thinking about an impromptu make out session, maybe as a moving in celebration.

But then the elevator dings and Kageyama’s rushing to the apartment door, openly eager to move in.

“You’re so cute when you’re excited, Tobio-chan,” Oikawa teases as he unlocks the door with a flourish.

Before Iwaizumi can jump in and remind Oikawa that he literally spent the whole day bouncing around the apartment and getting everything perfect for Tobio moving in, Kageyama beats him to it.

“O-of course I’m excited,” he mumbles “I’ve…always wanted to live together…like this…”

There’s a moment of shocked silence until Oikawa squeals and attacks Kageyama with a hug. “You’re so fucking cute!” Oikawa yells, picking Kageyama up and leaving sloppy kisses on his cheeks.

“So now how about a grand tour of the house, Tobio-chan?”

“He’s been here before, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi deadpans.

“Shh! Iwa-chan!” Oikawa scolds, still carrying Kageyama and walking him around the apartment. “Anways! Where was I, Tobio-chan?”

“The dining room table.”

“Ah, yes! This is the table we’re gonna fuck you over one night. And there’s the kitchen counter we’re gonna bend you over…”

Iwaizumi doesn’t think he imagines the way Kageyama’s grip tightens on Oikawa’s shoulders, and suddenly this tour of the apartment isn’t a bad idea.

 

 

Xx

 

 

Kageyama comes out of the bathroom to hover near the bed where Iwaizumi is already sprawled on it.

“What is it?” Iwaizumi asks when Kageyama continues to shift nervously, and play with the hem of his pajama top.

“Uh, I was wondering which side of the bed is mine? I don’t want to…intrude.”

“Tobio. You live here now; you can sleep wherever you want.”

“Okay,” Kageyama says softly, then surprises Iwaizumi by flopping down right on top on him. “I wanna sleep right here, Iwaizumi-san.”

“That’s fine,” Iwaizumi says, albeit a bit breathlessly, “Although you tend to drool in your sleep.”

“I’ll make it up to you,” Kageyama shuffles forward more and pecks Iwaizumi gently on the mouth.

“Hey! Don’t leave me out!” Iwaizumi hears Oikawa yell and then he _feels_ Oikawa, as he jumps right on top of Kageyama.

Iwaizumi’s being crushed at the bottom of this sudden dog-pile, but he really doesn’t mind. He’s warm all over, in a way that only happens when it’s the three of them together.

“I’m happy you moved in, Tobio.”

“Me too! I’m even happier than Iwaizumi!

“This isn’t a contest, dumbass!”

Kageyama drifts off to sleep to the sounds of his boyfriends bickering about who loves him more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kagehina friendship is VERY important to me. gotta get in with the best friend~~ anyways these soft ot3 babes?? so excited to be together? and soft nervous tobes worried abt sleeping arrangements? this is my true self people!!! hm next chapter i'm thinking public blowjobs?


	4. The Importance of Being Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For once, Iwaizumi and Kageyama get the upper hand on Oikawa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back w/ filth nd semi-public blowjobs

Oikawa glances up from his textbook, in a feeble attempt to glean the answer of this one particularly frustrating chemistry question from the ceiling, when he spots Iwaizumi and Kageyama heading towards his secluded spot in the library.

It’s a pleasant surprise, but not necessarily unexpected; it's getting closer to finals, and Oikawa is well-known for needlessly overworking himself so his boyfriends take care to make sure he doesn’t die in the library.

“I only have a few problems left then we can go,” Oikawa says once the others are in earshot.

“'Kay,” Iwaizumi leans down to kiss Oikawa quickly, before he and Kageyama wander over to nearby bookshelves.

“Tobio-channn! I won’t be able to finish my work without a kissie from you too!” Oikawa screws up his face, and obnoxiously pushes out his lips.

He expects Kageyama to get all embarrassed and deny him like he always does, but instead Tobio grabs holds of Oikawa’s shoulders and kisses him full on the lips. “You’ll do a good job on your homework for me, right, Tooru?”

Oikawa can’t help but gape up at Kageyama. That wasn’t just unexpected, that was devastatingly cute. “Hajime….what have you been teaching Tobio? He’s getting so smooth!”

“If he ends up as greasy as you, you’re the only one to blame, Tooru.”

“It’s impossible to be as greasy as Tooru,” Kageyama laughs.

“Rude, Tobio-chan! Rude!” Oikawa whines as Iwaizumi and Kageyama snicker to themselves as they walk away.

 

Xx

 

Ten minutes and two more chem problems later, Oikawa is beginning to suspect this visit wasn’t purely for his benefit. For one, Iwaizumi and Kageyama are still browsing the bookshelves, talking amongst themselves. Tooru’s 87% sure they’re talking about him, because they glance back at him periodically, and Tooru’s just a little paranoid.

He’s paranoid because he may have pranked Iwa-chan a few days ago by setting all the alarms in the apartment to go off all at once. He _thought_ he got off easy when Iwaizumi smacked him in the head, but now he’s not so sure.

 

Xx

 

Iwaizumi and Kageyama eventually come back to Oikawa’s table, Iwaizumi sitting next to him and Kageyama across from them. Oikawa’s trying to finish the rest of his problems as fast as he before Iwaizumi exacts his revenge, and he can’t ask Tobio for help because he’s always in on it and—

A muffled _WHUMP_ of a book hitting the carpeted floor knocks Oikawa out of his thoughts; Kageyama looks vaguely embarrassed when Oikawa glances at him, and mouths a sorry before slipping out of his seat to retrieve the book.

Oikawa looks back down at his book and is picking up his pencil, when he feels a pair of hands on the waistband of his pants.

“W-what are you doing, Tobio-chan?” Oikawa can’t help the shudder in his voice because Kageyama is on his knees and licking his lips and it’s obvious what’s about to happen but at the same time it _can’t_ happen.

“I’m getting payback,” Iwaizumi murmurs in Oikawa’s ear, pressed tight against his side, and Oikawa feels the dread and arousal settle in his gut. “You’ll be a good boy and be quiet, hm?”

“Uhn-huh,” Oikawa manages as Kageyama pulls his cock out of his pants and licks from base to tip, getting it wet enough for his hand to have a smooth slide. Moments later Kageyama sucks the head into his mouth, making sure to tongue diligently at the slit.

Oikawa can’t help the shuddering gasp that escapes him. Normally he doesn’t have any problem staying quiet, but there’s something about getting a blowjob in the library where anyone could see them if they tried.  It’s doing something to him.

The desperation must be obvious, because Iwaizumi chuckles as he grabs a hold of the hair on the nape of Oikawa’s neck. “Be sure to take him all in, Tobio, you know Tooru loves it when he’s pushing into your throat.”

And Kageyama _does._ He slides as much of Oikawa’s cock into his mouth as he can and then some, and the suction drives Oikawa wild. He hollows his cheeks and slides his tongue up and down, moaning around Oikawa’s length.

Iwaizumi looks down into Kageyama’s lap, fond smile in place, as he snakes a hand down to rest it on the back of Kageyama’s head guiding the younger’s bobbing on Oikawa’s cock.

Oikawa can’t help but close his eyes because the visual of Iwaizumi staring at him all smug and attractive like as he guides Kageyama in this public blowjob is too much. Tobio’s mouth is warm and wet and his soft moaning and slurping is clearly audible in silent library.

“You wanna cum, Tooru? You look close,” Iwaizumi says, voice thick. Oikawa nods mutely, not trusting himself to speak because he’s _so fucking close,_ and Kageyama’s sucking harder and faster, and he’s looking up at them now and it’s getting to be too much.

“Hmm. I don’t think you deserve, but we’ll let you cum this time. Go on and give Tobio a mouthful of your cum.”

Oikawa lets himself go with a muffled noise that seems to pierce the air. He slumps in his seat, vaguely aware of Kageyama tucking him back in his pants, trying to catch his breath. His heart nearly stops when a couple walks past their table, thankfully not noticing Kageyama still on his knees.

Once he’s somewhat recovered he glances over to Iwaizumi, to scold him for this whole thing, but his train of thought is quickly derailed. Iwaizumi is gently helping Kageyama off the floor, and into his lap. Iwaizumi kisses him deeply, licking the last of Oikawa’s cum out of Kageyama’s mouth.

Oikawa thinks he might die.

Unfazed, the other two pull back from each other, and Kageyama settles himself snugly against Iwaizumi’s chest.

“Enjoy my revenge?” Iwaizumi smirks, arms securely around Tobio’s waist.

“No, Iwa-chan! What if we got caught? How irresponsible of you! And how do you expect me to finish my homework after all of that?” Oikawa huffs.

“Not my problem.”

“Then I guess we’ll just stay here for as long as it takes!”

“Don’t be such a pain in the ass—“

“—Oikawa-san,” Kageyama interrupts “Let’s go home, _please,_ I want you to fuck me,” he says, voice breathy as he wiggles in Iwaizumi’s lap.

“Where has that shy, cute Tobio-chan gone?” Oikawa mutters before scrambling to throw all his papers into his paper: those other chemistry problems can wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oikawa can't think of a prank that can top public blowjobs. iwaizumi is the winner by default. ah poor tooru he can't handle it when kageyama starts using his cuteness against him.


	5. Commitment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa needs a bit of comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanna say thanks to everyone who's been reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! i love you guys!

“Hanamaki and Mattsun invited us to that new place a few blocks over for lunch. I swear those two act like the oldest married couple on the planet.” Oikawa says as he stands in the front of their shared closet.

“You used to say that back in high school too,” Iwaizmumi states from where he’s lounging on the bed, watching Oikawa make a mess of their closet.

“And I still mean it! Except now they’re even worse!” Oikawa laughs, shifting through their too-full closet. When did all three of their clothes get mixed up he wonders. All their clothes are hung together with no real separation, and honestly Kageyama may be wearing their stuff on accident.

It’s kinda amazing how much the three of them share, all six of Kageyama’s lucky volleyballs are strewn around the apartment, Oikawa’s alien conspiracy books are on the bookshelf, and Iwaizumi’s favorite blankets his grandma made for him are spread across the bed and honestly it’s all so domestic—

“You okay?”

Oikawa jolts, completely unaware that he’d been staring into the depths of their closet, silent and unmoving for a few minutes.

“Does it scare you?” Oikawa asks, back still turned.

“What?”

“Does it scare you? The way all of our stuff is mixed together like this? Do you ever wonder what’ll happen if we broke up and we had to move out and how all of this…all of this could’ve been for—for nothing?” Oikawa doesn’t realize he’s tearing up until Iwaizumi is in front of him and wiping at his eyes.

“Tooru.”

“Hm?” Oikawa refuses to look up even, opting instead to tuck his head in the crook of Iwaizumi’s neck.

“Do you…think about this a lot?”

“Sometimes…it’s just. I realize how close we all are and it’s scary, Iwa-chan! I don’t know if I could live without you and Tobio-chan, but what if you get tired of me, and—“

“—Impossible.”

“What?”

Iwaizumi takes a step back and looks at Oikawa with an intensity Oikawa’s only seen on the volleyball court and that one time it looked like Iwaizumi’s chips were gonna get stuck in the machine.

“We’d never get tired of you. If it weren’t you, me and Tobio would’ve starved to death ages ago. And you always take care of us, even though you’re annoying about it—“

“Hey!” Oikawa protests, a shocked laugh escapes him.

“It’s true,” Iwaizumi relaxes a bit when he sees Oikawa’s smile. “You like to nag, but you always look out for us, you help Tobio with his homework, all the while getting near perfect grades. And we’d never get tired of you, Tobio loves you….and I, uh, I love you too.”

There’s a brief moment of silence, and Oikawa can’t help the giant grin that slowly creeps across his face.

“I’m surprised you could say that without blushing, Iwa-chan.”

“Shut up!” Iwaizumi can feel his face heating up as he lunges at Oikawa. Before he can strangle the shit outta his boyfriend, the apartment door opens and closes.

“I’m back!” they hear Kageyama yell from the living room. Moments later he pops into the bedroom, sweaty from his morning run. He’s wearing what seems to be one of Iwaizumi’s shirts, collar slipping off of one shoulder.

Oikawa hopes he doesn’t still look miserable, but Kageyama is perceptive when he wants to be, and he perks up immediately.

“What’s wrong?” he rushes up to Oikawa and inspects him all over.

“Tooru, here thinks we’re gonna get tired of him.” Iwaizumi states frowning over Kageyama’s head at Oikawa.

“WHAT!?” Tobio yells, head snapping between the other two before taking a page out of Hinata’s book and launching himself bodily into Oikawa’s arms.

Oikawa manages to catch him, mildly surprised at Kageyama’s reaction. “We’d never get tired of you Oikawa-san,” Kageyama says seriously, voice full of the same conviction Iwaizumi’s had.

Pleased flush spreading across his face, Oikawa pets Kageyama in comfort. “That’s not what I said, _exactly,_ ” he glares at Iwaizumi, “But commitment doesn’t scare you, Tobio-chan? You aren’t afraid we may break up one day?”

Kageyama pulls away from Oikawa, face serious. “Sometimes… but it’s just like volleyball. It may be scary and you don’t know what’ll happen but you don’t give up because you love it. So… I-I’m not scared no matter what happens….because I-I love b-both of you.” Kageyama’s face is all red and he tries in vain to hide his face behind his hand.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi both stand silently, shocked.

“TOBIO-CHAN!!!! THAT WAS SO SWEET, I LOVE YOU TOO, TOBIO-CHAN!” Oikawa pulls Kageyama into a crushing hug, then waddles them over so Iwaizumi can join too.

“So you won’t be an idiot anymore and doubt us?” Iwaizumi asks.

“Nope. Not all. Thanks for cheering me up, babes,” Oikawa chirps, kissing both his boyfriends. He laughs, giddy, his whole body light all of sudden.

Then an idea hits Oikawa:

“We should get married.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've always headcanonned oikawa as having a bit of a fear of commitment, while Iwaizumi is v thoughtful and thinks things through, and Kageyama to be straightforward nd simple in his affections. but once you reassure Oikawa he's v open with his feelings. ah? should i do an ot3 wedding? that ending just kind of happened.


	6. Something's...Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kageyama's setter senses are tingling....something is afoot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can u guess the suprise?

Kageyama wakes up at 6 as usual for his morning run. He makes it back to the apartment at his usual time, rides the elevator up with his neighbor who grins at him and tells him to have a “very memorable and romantic day.”

He takes a shower like normal. Gets dressed and wakes up Oikawa and Iwaizumi like normal by jumping into bed and kissing them all over until they wake up. Today though the usual soft, sleepy kisses are a bit more passionate and bruising. Kageyama ends up pinned on the bed, and they’re all over each other, clothes about to be shed—

And then Oikawa’s phone alarm goes off.

They jump apart from each other, startled, before Oikawa and Iwaizumi cut a look at each other over Kageyama, who’s still pressed into the bedding, then dissolve into sudden laughter. Shaking his head, Iwaizumi heads to the bathroom to shower, while Oikawa and Kageyama start breakfast as usual.

Kageyama’s getting the rice cooker up and running, while Oikawa mans the eggs, or he’s supposed to be manning the eggs; instead he’s staring at Kageyama quietly, and thoughtfully.

“Tooru…” Kageyama murmurs when he catches Oikawa staring.

“Yes, Tobio-chan?” Oikawa says, uncharacteristically looking serious.

“….you’re burning the eggs.”

“ _Fuck!”_

Iwaizumi comes out of the bathroom and makes coffee like normal, then sits at the table with them like he always does. They have a normal breakfast except Kageyama notices both Iwaizumi and Oikawa staring at him like they’re waiting for him to notice something.

Oikawa doesn’t have a new haircut and Iwaizumi isn’t wearing anything new, so Kageyama settles with finishing his breakfast and heading to practice.

Practice is also normal; they’re running through possible line-ups for the first game of the pro season. Everything’s fine and normal expect that Hinata keeps staring at him; Kageyama doesn’t even think he’s blinked.

Hinata stares at him during drills, while they practice receives, when they take a water break, he even manages to stare when Kageyama, in a fit of frustration, throws a ball at his face.

In all, Kageyama’s kinda weirded out, and he’s practically running out of the locker room to get away from whatever’s wrong with Hinata. He’s about to leave when he notices Yachi, standing off the side, probably waiting on Hinata.

Kageyama breathes a sigh of relief, maybe Yachi can tell him what the fuck is wrong with Hinata or at least take him away. Far, far away.

“Yachi-san!” he calls out, raising his hand to wave. Yachi looks up and smiles warmly at Kageyama, before her eyes grow wide.

“Kageyama! You have a ring!” she squawks out, louder than Kageyama’s probably ever heard her speak.

“What?”

“It’s on your ring finger too!”

“My…ring…finger…?” Kageyama looks down, and there on his finger is a fucking ring. It’s a simple silver band with one diamond in the center, and suddenly everything clicks. The expectant way Iwaizumi and Oikawa were watching him this morning was because of this.

A tiny hand touching his elbow knocks him out of his daze. “Are you okay Kageyama? You’re crying.” Yachi’s looking up at him, and Kageyama blinks rapidly.

“I have to go,” and he stiffly makes his way to the bathroom.

Kageyama sits in a stall, staring at the ring on his finger, alternating between vague panic and elation. Hinata, like a good best friend, calls Iwaizumi and Oikawa and tells them Kageyama’s _finally_ figured it out, then stays with Kageyama in the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later Yachi manages to coax Kageyama out the bathroom with promises to buy him meatbuns later on and informing him that Oikawa and Iwaizumi have come for him. Kageyama scuttles out the bathroom back into the gym where he can hear Hinata yelling at the top of his lungs before he can even see him.

“YOU BROKE KAGEYAMA!”

“Hey! We did not! I thought slipping it on his finger while he was sleeping was a better option than some cliché proposal!” Oikawa yells back, sounding frantic.

“BUT NOW HE’S ALL PANICKY AND—“

“I AM NOT!” Kageyama yells on reflex, shrinking back when everyone turns to look at him. He catches the nervous, hopeful look in Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s eyes, making him flush. “I was just…surprised…”

“Tobio-chan—“ Oikawa starts.

“Tobio—“ Iwaizumi blurts out at the same time. They both hesitate and look at each other.

“Tobio…” Iwaizumi says again “We’re really sorry for shocking you, and it’s okay if you aren’t ready right now and we’ll fine with waiting—”

“I want to.”

“—and it’s totally fine if you don’t ever want to—wait what?”

“I want to get married,” Kageyama mutters again, “I was surprised…but I-I really want to get married.”

There’s a stunned silence between them all, and then Kageyama decides to kill them all by finally lifting his gaze from his sneakers and _smiling._ Not even the scary one that Hinata has nightmares about and that Oikawa can’t help but make fun of. This smile is soft and relaxed, and Kageyama’s nose scrunches up a little.

Oikawa falls to his knees in shock, clutching his chest, “Let’s get married right now.”

Iwaizumi is about to ask Oikawa about the _lengthy_ list of “must-haves for the best gay poly wedding in the history of the whole wide world” when Kageyama reached out and curls a hand into the hem of Iwaizumi’s shirt.

“Okay,” Kageyama says, still smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways i kinda love this chapter :') nd i started cryin a lil thinking bout kageyama's lil smiling face....wow....i am so pathetic nd in love with this ot3 bye. um...im almost at 100 kudos! i love! i love u guys a lot! and...next chapter i'm thinking....high school bad boy au....trust me itll be better than it sounds lmao


	7. Check Meowt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi discovers that cute kittens reel in cute boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see! too bad this chapter is kinda out there lmao! this thing was inspired by the tumblr bad boy au prompt "hey hold my cat while i fight"

“You'll never believe what that dumbass Yoshiiro said to me—he’s the most annoying little prick I've ever had the misfortune of—“

_Meeeeooooowwwww_

Oikawa looks up from his phone, face and voice blank, “Iwa-chan…..did you just…meow at me?”

“Of course I didn’t,” Iwaizumi says, arms crossed and face completely serious. Iwaizumi and Oikawa stare each other down, neither showing signs of backing down. Suddenly there's a soft rustling sound that continues until a small furry head pops out of the high neck collar of Iwaizumi's uniform jacket.

Iwaizumi still hasn't moved, as if the black kitten peeping out of his collar is completely normal. Oikawa blinks slowly and the kitten stares right back at him.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa starts when it becomes obvious that Iwaizumi isn't gonna explain anything, “Why do you have a cat in your jacket?”

“I found him today.”

“Where?”

“Near the convenience store.”

“And you brought it here becausee?”

“I was gonna be late if I went all the way back home—why am I even explaining myself to you?” Iwaizumi growls, reaching up to pet the kitten still snug in his collar.

“So you’re telling me…. The guy who has broken at least eight noses in fights in the past two months is afraid of being _tardy_?” Oikawa snickers.

“And you're telling me the asshole who's bothered at least four people until they transferred schools is threatened by a _cat?_

“I hope that cat pees in your sneakers,” Oikawa hisses, patting the kitten on the head, before shooting Iwaizumi a look as he stands to make his way to class.

“If he does it today, technically they'll be your shoes,” Iwaizumi grins, hiding the kitten in his jacket again.

 

Xx

Despite Oikawa's predictions, the kitten behaves throughout the first two periods. Iwaizumi “borrowed” milk from the cafeteria earlier, and after eating the kitten is completely knocked out, napping in Iwaizumi's bag.

In the middle of third period the kitten wakes up, yawns then trots out of Iwaizumi’s bag out of the classroom into the hallway. Iwaizumi sighs, ignoring Oikawa’s smug aura behind him, and darts out into the hallway after the kitten.

He finds the kitten near the bathrooms, batting at the pant leg of some kid. The kid blinks at the cat, confused, before bending down to tuck the kitten in the crook of his arm.

“How’d you get here?” the kid mumbles as he tickles the kitten under its chin.

“He escaped out of my bag,” Iwaizumi says, amused at the way the kid jumps at his voice. He turns around and Iwaizumi is taken back because, shit he’s _cute,_ with sharp features contrasted with pokeable cheeks, and wide blue eyes.

“You…bring your cat to school?” the kid asks curiously, tilting his head to the side.

“I just found him today. Didn’t have any time to bring him home.”

“I see,” Iwaizumi takes the kitten back and tucks it back into his jacket. He notices the sad look the kid gets now that he’s kittenless, and Iwaizumi’s melting a little. He’s _just_ about to ask the kid’s name in a completely non-threatening manner, when a blur of orange hair barrels out of the bathroom.

“Kageyama,” the orange one hisses, shooting Iwaizumi not so subtle, terrified glances “Do you know who this is?”

“No?” the taller one, Kageyama apparently, says looking lost. Iwaizumi’s slightly surprised, he figured his and Oikawa’s reputation, though grossly dramatized at times, preceded them. Most underclassmen tended to cower in fear like the orange kid here. Iwaizumi always wants to roll his eyes when it happens; he isn’t out beating the shit outta anyone he can get his hands on.

Unless they deserve it.

Iwaizumi watches amusedly as the small orange one bows repeatedly before grabbing Kageyama and forcibly dragging him away. “I wanted to pet the cat some more,” Kageyama mutters.

“Come see me after school. I’ll let you pet him again,” Iwaizumi calls after them.

“I’ll come by before volleyball practice.”

“Kageyamaaaaaa,” the orange one whines “You’re gonna get yourself killlledddd.”

“But the cat,” he hears Kageyama mumble before he’s dragged out of hallway presumably back to their class.

 

Xx

Oikawa notices Iwaizumi’s good mood almost immediately.

“Why’re you smiling so grossly?” he asks, the moment he finds Iwaizumi in their usual spot for lunch.

“My smile isn’t gross, Shittykawa!” Iwaizumi snaps accidently startling the kitten sleeping his lap. “But I met a kid today.”

“You’re gonna beat them up?”

“ _No._ I don’t jump people, you _know_ that! He was cute that’s all.”

“Oooo! Iwa-chan has a crush!” Oikawa grins and Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. Omitting the fact that before he went back to his class he went to investigate about the cute cat rescuer and found that his name _was_ Kageyama, Kageyama Tobio. He was a second year and some kind of volleyball genius, liked pork curry, and got gifts in his shoe locker on a weekly basis despite being openly gay.

Instead Iwaizumi settles with “He wanted to pet my cat.”

“Iwa-chan! Don't tell me you got that cat to pick up guys? First they pet your cat then you get them to pet something else?” Oikawa says with faux scandal.

“You're the only one who needs help,” Iwaizumi seethes, but the bad boy image doesn't quite fit with the black kitten purring contently in his arms.

“Didn't need a cat to get you to pet me,” Oikawa leers, cackling at Iwaizumi's expression.

 

Xx

  
Oikawa's catsitting while Iwaizumi takes care of some “business". Normally favors came with steep prices (food) but he’s _very_ curious about this crush-not-crush-cute-kid-or-whatever.

It doesn’t take long after the final bell, for a lanky kid wearing athletic practice shorts, to appear and stare blankly at Oikawa. Oikawa stares back until the kid presumably gathers enough courage to come over.

“So you’re the cute kid Iwa-chan mentioned,” Oikawa says giving the boy an once-over. He _is_ cute and Oikawa grins to himself because things are about to get very interesting.

“Cute?” the kid parrots, tilting his head, eyes wide. And _fuck_ what a pure soul, Oikawa’s gonna have fun messing with this kid.

“Mmhm, cute,” Oikawa confirms, catching sight of Iwaizumi walking towards them, and he gets an idea. Oikawa hands over the kitten and steps closer to the other “But tell me: did you come here to pet this cat despite the risks?

“Risks? What risks?”

“What? You aren’t afraid you’re gonna get beat up? Me and Iwa-chan have quite the reputation of gobbling up cute upperclassmen like you.” By the time Oikawa is done speaking he’s nearly nose to nose with Kageyama, bearing down on him.

Kageyama doesn’t look uncomfortable in the slightest. “You don’t scare me. Hinata thinks you are, but I think you two don’t fight anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”

Iwaizumi’s just about to grab Oikawa and stop his dumb intimidation technique, when Oikawa squawks loudly, and pulls Kageyama to his chest.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says, turning to him “this kid is perfect! He sees the good in me! Such a good kid!”

“What good in you?” Iwaizumi grumbles, pulling the two of them apart, and the kitten squished between them, leaps into Iwaizumi’s arms. “Can you not bother someone for one day?”

“Can you not smile like a demon for once in your life?” Oikawa snaps back. Iwaizumi decides to let that one slide, if only because Kageyama laughs a little at that, covering his mouth with his hand. He’s so _cute._

Oikawa’s opening his mouth, to say something stupid probably, when they’re interrupted by another presence. Well, more than just one.

Iwaizumi looks and it’s Yashiiro and his two idiots, looking very unpleasant. Iwaizumi can’t think of anything he’s done to piss them which means—

“You’re gonna pay for ratting me out to Igarashi-san, Oikawa.”

_Oikawa…_

After they deal with this, Iwaizumi’s gonna have a long talk about Oikawa’s incessant need to rile up idiots in his free time. Kageyama, wisely, moves out of the way, as both groups roll up their sleeves and size each other up. Iwaizumi’s closing in on idiot #2 to get in an opening punch when a sudden _meow_ startles them all into silence.

Glancing down, Iwaizumi remembers the cat in his arms. He holds up a hand to motion “just a sec” before turning and handing Kageyama the kitten. “Hold my kitten while we kick these guys’ asses, okay?”

 

Xx

 

It doesn’t take much for Yashiiro to get spooked enough to take off running, taking his wimp idiots with him.

“Sorry to put you in danger….ah…?”

“Kageyama Tobio,” Kageyama provides when Oikawa trails off.

“Ah! Tobio-chan! What a cute name!” Kageyama blushes in response, shuffling nervously.

“I…should…get to practice,” he mumbles shyly, handing over the kitten over “And here’s…oh? Um…what’s the cat’s name?”

“I think I just picked it actually,” Iwaizumi smiles.

“Oh?” he hears Oikawa ask off to his side.

“I’m gonna name him Tobio. Since he’s so cute.” Iwaizumi can’t help but grin at Kageyama’s furious blush that stretches to his ears and the way he stutters his goodbye. Before he can get too far, Oikawa grabs Kageyama’s arm and pulls him back.

Both Iwaizumi and Kageyama look on curiously as Oikawa pops the top off a sharpie (that is normally reserved for scrawling on people’s faces while they sleep) and scribbles something in giant letters on Kageyama’s arm.

“You should text me sometime,” Oikawa smiles, ignoring the way Iwaizumi glares at him. Kageyama blushes even harder and Oikawa’s a little smitten. He decides to show mercy on Iwaizumi by grabbing Kageyama’s other arm and scrawling Iwaizumi’s number too.

 

Xx

 

Kageyama shows up to practice five minutes late with phone numbers written in bold black ink on _both_ arms, and this is enough to cause a stir among the team. When they find out exactly _who_ those numbers belong to, it leaves a few of them borderline comatose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip smol scared hinata and blushy kags. this is def gonna have a sequel but i got the sudden idea to write an iwaoikage drunk karaoke date so that'll come first prolly.


	8. Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iwaizumi learns a lot at the karaoke bar. this occurs earlier in the timeline, before they all move in together

Something smacks Iwaizumi in the face, startling him out of his post-work nap he was taking on the couch. Once his eyes start properly relaying information to his brain, he realizes there's a pile of clothing on his chest and Oikawa is standing over him, grinning. 

_ Of course.  _

"Get dressed."

"What?" Iwaizumi grumbles, sitting up and trying to remember what reality he's in, because  _ shit _ that was a good nap. 

"We're having a date night." Oikawa states, leaving absolutely no room to question. 

"All three of us?"

"Yup! Tobio-chan is ready to be picked up, we're just waiting on  _ you!" _

"You didn't tell me we were going on a date," Iwaizumi says shuffling off the bathroom to wash his face and get dressed. "Wait," Iwaizumi pops his head out of the bathroom to squint suspiciously at Oikawa standing in the hall. 

"Where are we going?"

"Karaoke!" Oikawa chirps. 

_ I'm gonna need a lot of alcohol  _ Iwaizumi thinks  _ And earplugs.  _

 

Xx

 

It's dark out by time they reach Oikawa's preferred karaoke bar in a stylish district downtown. Iwaizumi's been with Oikawa before, unfortunately, but it's Kageyama's first time. A date night is really exciting him because they didn't even have to knock on his apartment door before he was barreling out to greet them with Hinata in tow. 

Hinata and Kageyama's enthusiasm is infectious, as they awe loudly at the bustling nightlife and listen attentively at Oikawa's stories of karaoke sessions in the past, including the time they tried to break a glass with their voices and got thrown out of the karaoke bar at 2 am. Iwaizumi has heard the story before, but it's nice to watch Kageyama laugh, covering his mouth with his hand as Hinata "oooooohs" at very embellished twist and turn in the story. 

When they reach their private room at the karaoke place, Yachi, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa are already there, and the idiot duo are singing  a ballad, loudly and offkey. Iwaizumi's almost certain they won't get a score over 20 considering that Hanamaki is trying to hit the high notes while simultaneously drinking a beer. 

Oikawa grabs a shot of something pink on the table, downing it all in one go "I call next song."

And that sets the tone for the night. 

 

Xx

 

It doesn't take long for them to all get a little drunk, and the song choices get weirder, and the performances get  _ funnier.  _ Oikawa performs one song by a pop girl group, complete with the dance, poses, and cutesy facial expressions. Yachi laughs so hard at one point Iwaizumi thinks water came out of her nose. 

Hinata and Yachi do a duet, and they're all surprised that Yachi has a nice voice. Hinata's completely tone-deaf and Kageyama playfully heckles him until Hinata attacks him. 

Even Iwaizumi sings, pulled off the couch by Oikawa, to sing some old anime opening. Normally Iwaizumi has too much pride to make a fool of himself dancing to some low budget anime, but he has to admit Oikawa's goofiness and complete dedication to have fun is infectious, and watching Kageyama laugh loudly, head thrown back and shoulders shaking, is a little addicting. 

 

Xx

 

“You're gonna have one hell of a hangover in the morning,Tobio” Iwaizumi says as he hands the mic over to Yachi. He's pretty sure Kageyama just downed his seventh shot, and Iwaizumi doesn't know what Kageyama's tolerance is but he's sure the flush high on Kageyama’s cheekbones is proof his limits close. 

“I’ll be fine, Iwaizumi-san. This stuff is super weak,” Kageyama assures him, slides over to press against Iwaizumi’s side “But if I have too much you’ll take me home and take care of me, right?”

Iwaizumi’s mouth goes dry as Kageyama’s hand creeps higher up his thigh. Kageyama Tobio is a horny drunk and Iwaizumi is gonna die. 

Before Iwaizumi can make a bad decision that would result into something  _ very  _ NC-17, Oikawa pops up in front of them, brandishing the karaoke mic for Tobio to take. 

“Tobio-chan! You should sing me a love song!” Oikawa beams, waving the mic in Kageyama’s face. 

“Kageyama? Sing? His voice could probably kill children,” Hinata mutters sulkily, obviously still upset. 

There’s a moment of silence, and they all watch as Kageyama slowly turns and squints at Hinata seriously. Then, Kageyama turns to stare at Iwaizumi and Oikawa in turn. 

Oikawa blinks, for once, speechless, just as Kageyama stands and yanks the mic out of his hands. 

“‘M gonna sing,” he mumbles, stalking up to the machine to pick his song. “Fuck….I think….all those shots are catching up,” Kageyama grumbles as he angrily searches for the right song. 

 

Xx

 

_ Eventually  _ Kageyama picks a song, and he steps back happily, as the first notes of what Iwaizumi recognizes is actually a  _ sappy love song.  _ Iwaizumi looks over and catches a glimpse of Oikawa gaping like a fish, and his jaw drops even more when Kageyama winks,  _ winks,  _ points at Oikawa and slurs “This one is for you, baby.”

Oikawa makes some intelligible noise deep in his throat. 

Drunk Kageyama is full of surprises, he’s not only flirty and giggly, he can  _ sing.  _ All of them watch in complete disbelief as Kageyama nails both the high and low notes. He’s completely on pitch and Iwaizumi thinks he’s getting chills. Whenever the lyrics get sappy, Kageyama makes a point to stare at his boyfriends, and Iwaizumi really might die. 

Amazingly, Kageyama gets a near perfect score, the highest score Iwaizumi’s ever seen. Kageyama grins smugly at Hinata, then drops the mic in his lap. He turns to Oikawa, pulling him into a kiss that probably tasted more like alcohol than anything else. Kageyama pulls out of the kiss to plop into Iwaizumi’s lap, straddling him. 

“I have an idea to make this date more fun.”

Iwaizumi is really gonna die. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i read a fic of kageyama actually being a good singer and that and drunk karaoke ideas formed into this. poor iwaizumi he can't handle horny, flirty drunks. next i'm definitely doing a follow up to chapter 7.


	9. Let it Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikawa and iwaizumi enjoy making kageyama's life harder......he pretends not to like it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see~~~! this is a continuation of the au in chapter 7 i....don't know how this happened.

Oikawa has just slid inside Kageyama all the way when the phone rings. All three of them, Iwaizumi, Kageyama, and Oikawa freeze immediately before their eyes roam towards the house phone tangled in a pile of sheets at the foot of the bed. 

The red in Kageyama’s face intensifies and spreads to his ears and down his neck, as he reads the caller ID. It’s his  _ mom.  _

She’s supposed to at work for the next five hours; it’s rare for her to be called in on weekends, which is the main reason Kageyama's on his stomach, cock dripping all over his sheets with Iwaizumi's cock in his face and Oikawa balls deep in him. 

Before Kageyama can decide on what to do--  _ he can't not pick up. He explicitly told her he'd be home all day (to get fucked), but to answer like this--  _ Iwaizumi gets a contemplative look on his face before picking up the phone and clicking the answer button. 

He gestures to Kageyama to take the phone, who does vaguely panicked. Oikawa glares at Iwaizumi, annoyed. This was the first time in weeks that they've been able to go all the way and now this? 

Iwaizumi smirks and  _ oh  _ Oikawa gets it. They grin at each other over a flustered Kageyama. 

“H-hello?” 

“Tobio! Listen! I have to tell you a funny story about my coworker!”

“Okaaaaayyyy,” Kageyama says, voice morphing into a near moan as Oikawa pulls out to slide back in torturously slow, forcing Kageyama to feel every inch, before grabbing hold of Kageyama’s hips to settle a slow and steady rhythm. 

It only takes a few more strokes before Kageyama’s dissolved into the bedding, focused only in keeping the phone pressed against his ear and the tremble out of his voice. 

“--and get this, she completely fell! Papers flying everywhere!”

“Oh my  _ god _ ,” Kageyama groans as Oikawa fucks into him deeper just as Iwaizumi yanks his head back by his hair. The flash of pain shouldn't feel as good as it does, but  _ god  _ does it feel good. Iwaizumi guides Kageyama's attention to the way he’s stroking himself to the visual of Kageyama getting fucked. Iwaizumi can’t help the smug grin that stretches across his face when Kageyama’s eyes glaze over as he stares transfixed at the rhythm of Iwaizumi’s hand on his own cock and the steady stream of precum leaking from the tip.

Kageyama’s mom laughs at her son’s exclamation, obviously assuming he’s enthralled with her story, “I know, I know! I can’t believe it either! So ironic!”

“Mmhmmm” Kageyama groans, lips flush against the head of Iwaizumi’s cock. He’s fighting the urge to open his mouth and taste Iwaizumi, to slide his tongue along the shaft and swallow every single drop of precum. 

As if he can sense this, Iwaizumi holds Kageyama's head still so he can slide the slick head of his cock over Kageyama’s lips, smearing precum over pink lips. Kageyama shudders  _ hard _ , and Iwaizumi doesn’t miss the way Oikawa bites his lip when Kageyama tightens around him. 

It isn’t long before Kageyama’s shaking. Between restraining himself from desperately lapping at Iwaizumi’s cock like and fucking back on Oikawa’s with as much fervor as possible, he doesn’t think he can take much more. Oikawa, the sadist, doesn’t let up; instead he sits up more on his knees, changing the angle, hitting Kageyama where they all know drives him crazy. 

“Jesus  _ Christ!”  _ Kageyama yelps, almost forgetting who he’s on the phone with.  _ Almost.  _

“Tobio…” his mother says lowly, and Kageyama’s heart thuds in his chest. “I told you not to say things like that, I understand it’s upsetting, but some extra overtime will do me good!”

“O-okay, mom. You’re...you’re right.” Kageyama still can’t believe they’re getting away with this. And he definitely can’t believe he  _ likes  _ this; he’s still hard and his cock is dripping liberally, making a mess of precum all over his own stomach, and  _ ohmygod  _ he’s really getting off on this. Kageyama supposes Iwaizumi and Oikawa  _ have  _ been bad influences on him. 

Kageyama’s  _ this close  _ to saying fuck it and giving in to the urge to blow  Iwaizumi as sloppily as possible regardless of his mother when she interrupts his mental debate. “Ah! Tobio sorry I have to go! See you in a few, I’ll pick up dinner on my way home. Be a good boy and bye bye!”

“Bye, Mom,” Kageyama pants out, not missing the way both Oikawa and Iwaizumi huff out a laugh at the “be good”. Fuck them. The call clicks to an end Oikawa wastes no time in getting a firmer grip on Kageyama’s hips and fucking into him with the rough pace he likes best. 

Iwaizumi outright laughs at Kageyama’s desperate attempt to get his cock in his mouth. But Iwaizumi shows him mercy and finally  _ finally  _ Kageyama’s sliding as much and then more into his mouth. Bobbing his head up and down, with the same rhythm of Oikawa fucking him from behind. 

They give Kageyama a few minutes to relish in being full, before Iwaizumi slips out of Kageyama’s mouth with a wet  _ pop.  _ Iwaizumi reaches underneath Kageyama to grab the phone again, he runs a thumb over Kageyama’s swollen bottom lip with a smile, “Let’s see who else we can call, hm?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was not the intended sequel to chapter 7 lmao but it happened. this took months to write @ college thank u for leaving me with 0 free time. anyways next time i'm continuing bad boy au.....with actual plot substance....not just.....porn....


	10. It's Okay to Fight....This Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> something is amiss and oikawa and iwaizumi will fight their way to the bottom of this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy holidays? this is a continuation of the au from chapter 7 and 9

It’s when Oikawa peeks into the gym and sees everyone sans their genius setter practicing drills, he begins to sense that something is very, very  _ wrong.  _ Kitten Tobio peeps his head out of Oikawa’s bag, wide eyes searching and nose twitching, trying to find any sign of Kageyama. 

“Shrimpy-chan!” Oikawa calls out and almost immediately there's an orange blur heading towards him. After a few months of being around him, Oikawa's learned to be slightly less disturbed at Hinata's seemingly endless amount of energy, but Oikawa still can’t help but wonder  _ what does this kid eat? _

“Have you seen Kageyama anywhere?” Hinata yells, frantic. 

“Eh?” Oikawa feels a knot of worry starting to form in his stomach “I was gonna ask  _ you  _ that. Don't you two come to morning practice together?”

“We do! But today he didn’t show up! And when I tried to call him to yell at him for standing me up it kept going straight to voicemail!”

They lapse into silence for a second, thinking; both know Kageyama would never miss volleyball practice unless he was missing all his limbs and even  _ that  _ may not be enough to stop him. And Oikawa knows Kageyama would never miss his day to take Tobio home. Between the three of them: Iwaizumi, Kageyama, and OIkawa, they’ve set up a schedule for who gets to take the kitten home. 

It works for them. Tobio never gets neglected when Oikawa wants to spend time with his Takeru, or when Kageyama has extra evening practices (or tutoring to boost his grades), or when Iwaizumi goes to his part-time job. 

“I hope Kageyama’s okay,” HInata sighs. 

“Don’t worry, Shrimpy-chan,” Oikawa reaches out and ruffles HInata’s hair “He’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of it.”

Tobio pops his head out of Oikawa’s bag again and meows in agreement. 

“......you don’t think we could teach Tobio to set, yeah?”

“He’s a  _ cat!” _

 

Xx

 

“Something’s weird going on here,” Iwaizumi grumbles later on as they meet up for lunch. It’s strange to be eating without Kageyama: they’ve gotten used to his loud slurps as he drinks his milk box and his dead weight when he takes a nap in one of their laps. “Kageyama’s phone must’ve been off for a while, because he never texted me back last night.”

“Ooh~ were you sending Tobio-chan steamy messages without me? For shame, Iwa-chan!” Iwaizumi raises a hand to punch Oikawa in the leg in retaliation, but the moment Iwaizumi removes his hand from scratching underneath Tobio’s chin the cat meows loudly in disapproval. 

“Poor Tobio. I think he misses Tobio-chan,” Oikawa sniffs. 

“Are you sure it’s not just you that’s missing Kageyama?” 

“Of course I miss him, Iwa-chan, you brute!” Oikawa launches himself on Iwaizumi dramatically “I miss my adorable kouhai! I miss his round head and his cute little pout! He hasn’t answered his phone in hours and he missed class! I’m worried, Iwa-chan!”

Because Iwaizumi truly cares about Oikawa, he doesn’t immediately throw Oikawa’s weight off of him. That and he’s distracted by the sound of footsteps headed their way. With a grunt, Iwaizumi pries Oikawa off enough to take a look at who’s got the balls to bother the two of them at their normally isolated lunch spot. 

Iwaizumi catches a glimpse of ratty sneakers and  _ of course  _ it’s the asshole of their grade Yashiiro and his lackeys again. “I see your baby faced boy toy isn’t here today. I hope nothing bad happened to him,” Yashiiro says with a smirk, and his gang of idiots chuckle condescendingly behind him. 

The fingers tangled in the collar of Iwiazumi’s uniform, and he glances at Oikawa who’s staring with narrowed eyes and jaw set. Iwaizumi follows Oikawa’s gaze to the bandage on Yashiiro’s cheek, the bruises on his arms, and the flickers to the swollen eye of a guy behind him. 

“Why are you asking about Kageyama?” Iwaizumi’s proud of how leveled his voice sounds although in his head he racing to the absolute worst conclusion. 

“Why don’t you find out yourselves?”

 

Xx

 

Oikawa bangs on the door of Kageyama’s door so hard Iwaizumi swears the neighbors the next block over can hear it. They’d cut class almost immediately, after a visit to the office to hack into the computer to find Kageyama’s address. Yashiiro must’ve rattled Oikawa hard, because he didn’t even take time to leave stupid comments on people’s permanent records. 

It’s about two minutes of Oikawa non-stop banging on the door, and Tobio wiggling impatiently in Iwaizumi’s arms, before it opens just a crack, and Kageyama peeps out. “Oikawa-san! Iwaizumi-san! What’re you doing here?”

“Coming to see you, you dork!” Oikawa yells, barging through the front door. “You missed practice and haven’t been answering our calls, and--and Yashiiro said--what happened to your face!?” 

Iwaizumi shuffles in behind Oikawa, and finally gets a good look at Kageyama. He’s got a nasty, purpling bruise blossoming across his left cheek and his bottom lip looks like it’s been split recently. At Oikawa’s question Kageyama looks down with a pained expression. Tobio’s pawing at the tips of Kageyama’s socks, demanding attention. 

“After practice yesterday….I was stopped by Yashiiro-san and his friends,” Kageyama mutters, hiding his face in Tobio’s fur. Iwaizumi can feel anger spread throughout his whole body. “They cornered me and were saying things about the two of you. I punched one of them in the face--he made me drop my meatbun--”

Here Iwaizumi snorts fondly. Of course Tobio would throw punches over food. 

“But there were too many of them, and someone broke my phone so i couldn’t send anyone any messages because I don’t have your numbers memorized to call on the house phone and--”

“Tobio-chan. Tobio-chan! It’s fine!” Oikawa butts in, placing a hand gently on Kageyama’s head. “Well it’s not  _ okay.  _ Yashiiro’s gonna die for this.”

“What!?” Kageyama yells.

“Yup he’s gonna die,  _ today.” _

“Painfully.” Iwaizumi adds. 

_ MEOW! _

 

Xx

 

They leave Kageyama’s house with promises they’ll be back once they take care of business. Iwaizumi’s full of energy; it’s one part adrenaline and the other part is giddiness from the feeling of Kageyama pressing a cheek to his cheek, face red, and voice all shy. When they make it back on campus they stop by the gym to fill in Hinata on what happened. 

“Yashiiro needs to be knocked down a peg,  _ today,”  _ Hinata growls, suddenly radiating a killing intent Iwaizumi would’ve thought impossible for someone so cheery. “No one beats up my best friend. Except sometimes Tanaka-senpai, but that’s different.”

“Don’t worry, Chibi-chan, we’re on our way to take care of him right now. Any messages you want passed on?” Oikawa grins. 

“Nah, just make him regret this.”

“That,” Iwaizumi starts, completely serious, “We can do.”

 

Xx

 

They find Yashiiro alone in the bathrooms near the year two classes. He opens his mouth to say something but Oikawa stops him dead with a punch in the face. 

The guy never stood a chance. 

 

Xx

 

“Why do you care about some dumb underclassman anyways,” Yashiiro groans where he’s slumped on the floor holding his bleeding nose. 

“He’s not just someone underclassman,” Iwaizumi grabs Yashiiro by the collar and heaves him to feet. 

“He’s  _ our  _ underclassman,” Oikawa says as he leans in to brush dust off Yashiiro’s shoulders “And if you touch our cute boyfriend again you’ll be bleeding out of more places than just your nose, understand  _ Yashi-chan?” _

 

Xx

 

It’s not an understatement to say Yashiiro doesn’t so much as  _ look  _ at Kageyama again. 

 

Xx

 

Both Iwaziumi and OIkawa end up getting chewed out by the vice principal for skipping class. It’s worth it though, because when Kageyama comes to school the next day he thanks them both with a kiss and a meatbun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways tobio the kitten is always down for a fight, and after this whole incident everyone was afraid to even look at kageyama funny ever again. lmaoooo. idk why but this au has grown on me. next.....uh maybe a chapter on how their ot3 even began i just realized i never went into detail on that smh @ me i just had them banging w no backstory


	11. Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikawa finally FINALLY apologizes. it's easier than he expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a canon compliant au and is a standalone chapter (for now) i was just thinking abt how canon iwaoikage would start and how oikawa was an awful senpai lmaooooo

**From Tooru the Idiot:**

_ wanna go see karasuno play tmm? _

 

Iwaizumi reads the message from Oikawa once, twice, then another three times. Once he accepts that he isn’t hallucinating, he waits for Oikawa to send a follow up text, something along the lines of  _ just kidding!  _ Or  _ i bet i had you fooled iwa-chan!  _

No such message comes. 

Picking up his phone gingerly, Iwaizumi purses his lips as he thinks of a response. He can’t imagine why Oikawa would want to got to Karasuno’s game  _ now,  _ when he’d been adamant ever since they graduated that he’d never want to see Karasuno play. 

Well, in Oikawa’s defence, he said he never wanted to see  _ Kageyama  _ play. Still, last Iwaizumi heard Kageyama was still a member of Karasuno’s volleyball team, and quite the proficient captain. Sighing, Iwaizumi gives up trying to understand the logic in the sudden turn of events and decides to just ask. 

 

**To Tooru the Idiot:**

_ I thought you never wanted to see them play, and I quote, “ever, ever,  _ EVER again”.

 

**From Tooru the Idiot:**

_ you would bring that up iwa-chan! >:V _

 

_ but if you must know i wanted to go see tobio-chan play! _

 

_ and maybe apologize….for not being the best senpai back then >/////< _

  
  


Iwaizumi nearly drops his phone in shock. 

 

**To Tooru the Idiot:**

_ …..wow I’m actually impressed. Too bad you’re a few years too late _

 

**From Tooru the Idiot:**

_ rude iwa-chan! i’m opening up my heart to you and asking for moral support in a very important part of my life! and this is how you treat me?????? i hate u >:vvvVVVV _

 

**To Tooru the Idiot:**

_ Should I come by around 3? _

 

**From Tooru the Idiot:**

_ make it 3:45  _

Xx

 

Iwaizumi half expects to pick up a reluctant, petulant Oikawa from his apartment that’d he’d have to drag into the car but what greets him is the complete opposite. Oikawa slides into the car of his own free will and Iwaizumi can detect nervousness in the way Oikawa fiddles with seatbelt. His eyes are determined though; he looks like he does before games,face saying that regardless of the outcome he plans on giving it his all. 

“You finally look like a proper senpai,” Iwaizumi grins, he’s proud of his best friend, and pleased that all of his pushing and prodding for Oikawa to develop into somewhat of a decent human being is paying off at last.       

Oikawa sputters and chokes on a laugh before yelling “Rude! You’re the worst best friend ever, Iwa-chan!!”

“Is that why you’re apologizing to Kageyama? You want him to be your new best friend?” Iwaizumi raises his hand to his cheek in faux scandal, before outright  _ cackling  _ at Oikawa’s expression. It’s rare for Oikawa to be so agitated and Iwaizumi can’t help but poke fun at him. 

Iwaizumi’s still laughing as he puts the car in drive. 

 

Xx

 

The nervousness doesn’t truly hit Oikawa until Karasuno’s leading the second set after already taking the first one. Oikawa has half the mind to tuck tail and run, maybe apologizing after all these years isn’t the best idea. 

As much as Oikawa is loathe to admit it, Kageyama makes a good captain. He’s quick to reassure his team when their spike is blocked, and he’s always one of the first to pat a teammate on the back after a successful block. 

A few years ago Oikawa wouldn’t have believed that this more responsible, more reliable, hotter version of Kageyama could exist. 

“Did you just call Kageyama hot?”

Oikawa turns so fast he really slides off the bleachers, “W-what?” 

Right behind him is Mr. Refreshing-kun, hair a bit longer but trademark smile in place, although there’s something sharp in it. Oikawa’s still gaping like a fish when Refreshing-kun slides in next to him. 

“You didn’t answer my question. Did you just call Kageyama hot?”

“I said he’s  _ not _ ! Not a bad captain!” Oikawa says, jabbing an elbow into Iwaizumi’s ribs where  he’s laughing on his other side. 

Refreshing-kun raises an eyebrow but says nothing, instead turning back to game in time to watch Karasuno score a point with a quick. “He is pretty good. He’s tall.  A genius setter who accommodates his tosses for every teammate.  _ And  _ he can attack well too!” Sugawara beams and Oikawa can’t help but notice how proud he sounds. 

“I hear he takes after his senpai,” Iwaizumi says suddenly.

Oikawa nods seriously, “He is a bit like me, huh?” he mutters. 

“He  _ does  _ take after me,” Refreshing-kun says happily at the same time. They stop and glare at each other. Oikawa hadn’t expected to get into a fight with anyone but Iwa-chan today, but he’ll never back down and lose his newly appointed senpai status. 

“What? Like you?  _ I’m  _ the one who taught him how to jump serve!” Oikawa boasts, gesturing wildly and almost smacking Iwaizumi in the face. 

“He learned by  _ watching  _ you serve, idiot,” Iwaizumi grumbles, wrestling the arm threatening to knock him out into submission. 

“That still counts as teaching Iwa-chan!”

Oikawa turns back to Sugawara who’s shaking his head exasperatedly. “So why’re you here today? I haven’t seen you at any Karasuno games before.”

“I came to make amends with Tobio-chan,” Oikawa sniffs. 

“So he’s finally realized it then?” Sugawara grins, leaning past Oikawa to make eye contact with Iwaizumi. 

“Yup. Took him long enough,” Iwaizumi sighs. Oikawa gets the distinct feeling he’s being talked about, but against Iwaizumi  _ and  _ Sugawara-san Oikawa doubts he can win against them. 

“I’m glad you’ve finally come to your senses,” Sugawara says with a smile, patting Oikawa on the shoulder good-naturedly. “But you better be sincere about apologizing. No one messes with my kouhai under my watch, understand?”

Oikawa feels goosebumps rising on his arms, then he nods eagerly in confirmation. Who knew Mr. Refreshing-kun had such a scary side of him. 

 

Xx

 

Karasuno takes both sets and Oikawa hopes the win will put Kageyama in a better mood. He isn’t sure what reaction he should be expecting, anything could happen. From Kageyama ignoring him to flat out decking him.Okay Kageyama definitely wouldn’t hit him, but Oikawa’s still racked with nervousness. 

Oikawa’s standing near the entrance of the locker room, tapping his foot and fidgeting, anything to keep his mind off what he’s about to do. Finally he hears a chorus of voices getting louder and louder until Oikawa’s face-to-face with Kageyama for the first time in two years. 

“Oikawa-san!?” Kageyama says the moment he catches sight of Oikawa. Behind him Chibi-chan runs into Kageyama’s back as he stops short. “What’re you doing here?”

“I can’t come watch the game of one of my  _ favorite _ rival teams?” Oikawa says sweetly. Instantly Kageyama stiffens, and Oikawa quickly backtracks before he ruins this apology before he even starts it. 

“Actually I came here to talk to you.”

“Me?” Kageyama echoes eyes wide. 

“Yes you,” Oikawa takes a deep breath, centers himself, thinks about showing Iwaizumi he can be a good senpai “I…..I came here to apologize.”

Oikawa looks up to find Kageyama staring right at him, face blank. “This isn’t a prank is it?” he asks narrowing his eyes in suspicion. 

“What? No! I’m being sincere!” Oikawa bristles. “If I wanted to prank you I’d trap you in a volleyball net or something. But I wanted to apology for….you know, not being the best senpai back in middle school. Well high school too. I was hoping we could start all over and be….friends? Or at least not sworn enemies….” here Oikawa trails off with an awkward laugh. 

Kageyama hadn’t reacted during any of Oikawa’s little speech, and Oikawa is just starting to think of a way to get out the gym as fast as possible when Kageyama pulls his phone out of his jersey pocket and handing it to Oikawa. 

“I’d like that,” he says with an awkward smile, and Oikawa’s a bit happy to see that despite the broader shoulders and sharper face, Kageyama hasn’t changed much. 

But, as he programs his number into Kageyama’s phone, he’s just as happy about the things that  _ are  _ changing. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oikawa vs suga everyone place your bets!!!!! in my interpretation of oikage i always believe oikawa apologizes first before anything else happens. i also believe suga and oikawa duke it out over who's the bigger senpai. next chapter im reviving bad boy au bc i made a friend that's helped me come up with a lot of headcanons so watch out for more~~~


	12. Impressing Natsu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iwaizumi and oikawa have to impress the most important person yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more bad boy au how did this get so longgggggg

“Idon’tthinkwe’llbeabletohaveourdatethisweekend.”

Oikawa tears his gaze from his cup ramen to blink at Kageyama who’s bowing with his hands clasped in front of him. 

“Tobio-chan could you uh….repeat that? A bit slower?”

Kageyama rises from his bow and exhales a deep breath, “I said  don’t think we’ll be able to have our date this weekend.”

Oikawa gasps, almost choking on his mouthful of ramen just as the door to the roof slams open, shocking Oikawa so that he  _ does  _ choke. It’s Iwaizumi barrelling onto the roof and he bypasses Tooru choking completely. 

“We can’t have our date?” Iwaizumi asks, voice just a little pleading. If Oikawa wasn’t so focused on the noodles stuck in his throat, he’d think Iwaizumi was cute right now. 

“Hinata needs someone to look after Natsu this weekend and I kinda owe him for covering for me all the time when I stay the night with you two and tell my mom I’m staying over at HInata’s.” Kageyama’s bottom lip is jutting out and he’s hunching into himself a bit. 

“Tobio….” Iwaizumi starts, taking on that tone of voice that means he’s about to activate his mother mode. “Don’t tell me you’ve been sleeping over at our places without telling your mom  _ at all.” _

Kageyama peeks at him through his lashes, “Then I won’t tell you.” Iwaizumi sighs in resignation then smacks a still coughing Oikawa on the back, helping him finally clear his airways of ramen. 

Clearing his throat for the last time, Oikawa stands up straighter and adjusts his uniform. “Don’t worry about Shrimpy-chan, Iwa-chan, Tobio-chan. Let me handle this! Our date night will continue full speed ahead thanks to me!”

“I don’t know if I want to trust someone who can’t even chew their ramen right,” Iwaizumi mumbles to Kageyama under his breath. 

“I HEARD THAT!”

Xx

Kageyama’s walks out of the locker room after class to find Oikawa and Hinata talking animatedly near the entrance of the gym. Kageyama  _ prays  _ that HInata isn’t sharing any embarrassing stories about him to his boyfriend because Oikawa has a bad habit of using people’s cringe-worthy memories as leverage to get what he wants. 

He warily approaches them, ready at any moment to sprint in the opposite direction when Hinata notices him. “Kageyama! You didn’t tell me you had a date this weekend!” Hinata virtually  _ yells  _ across the gym. From somewhere out of his line of sight Kageyama can hear Tanaka and Nishinoya’s obnoxious laughter and catcalling in response.

“I didn’t tell you because I owe you, you idiot.” Kageyama growls, squishing Hinata’s head in his palm in hopes that maybe he’ll find a mute button. 

“ _ You’re  _ the idiot, idiot,” Hinata huffs swatting at the hand threatening to pop his head like a pimple. “I wouldn’t mind if you had Iwaizumi and Oikawa over!”

“You wouldn’t?”

“Of course I wouldn’t! I understand you yougins like to spend time with your boyfriends and stuff!” Here Hinata reaches out and smacks Kageyama in the side. 

“C-chibi-chan. You sound like an old man,” Oikawa gasps out as he chokes on his laughter. 

Kageyama wants to say something rude, but he settles with rolling his eyes in (admittedly fond) exasperation; Hinata is doing him a favor after all. 

“Thank you,” Kageyama says softly, but sincerely, and Hinata  _ beams. _

“Don’t mention it!” Hinata exclaims jumping as high as he can, spreading out all his limbs like a starfish and nearly kicking both Oikawa and Kageyama in the face. “Natsu’ll be in good hands. She practically worships the ground you walk on! As long as you guys don’t do anything that’ll make those mysterious “mosquito bites” on your neck appear again, we’re good!”

“I TOLD YOU TO NEVER BRING UP THE MOSQUITO BITES EVER AGAIN!” Kageyama yells, face going completely red. 

“WE ALL KNOW THOSE WERE HICKEYS KAGEYAMA! WE ALL KNOW!” Hinata cackles as he takes off running across the gym, Kageyama, still furious, chasing after him. Oikawa smiles fondly at the pair of idiots as he leaves the gym. 

Xx

“Is she here yet?” Is the first thing out of Oikawa’s mouth as he steps into the Kageyama residence and slips off his shoes. 

“Not yet,” Kageyama laughs, reaching up on his tip toes a bit to kiss Oikawa on the cheek, “Hinata said 1 but he’s always late.”

Sighing, Oikawa enters the living room proper to find Iwaizumi sprawled all over one of the black leather couches like he owns the place. Oikawa doesn’t understand how Iwaizumi can be so casual, this is maybe the third time they’ve been over to Tobio’s place and Oikawa’s  _ still  _ unnerved by the obvious amount of money put into the decor. He half expects someone to smack his hands away from anything he touches. 

To take his mind off of the price tags of the sleek, and modern furniture that costs more altogether than his whole life, he waltzes over to Iwaizumi and plops right on his stomach. All the air leaves Iwaizumi’s lungs in a soft  _ whoosh,  _ so he reaches up and pinches Oikawa on the thigh in retaliation. 

Oikawa opens his mouth to wail about the pain, but before he can make a sound, Iwaizumi tugs him down for a kiss. “You’re eager to babysit today,” Iwaizumi observes when they part. 

“Yeah,” Kageyama agrees, taking a seat on Iwaizumi’s legs. “I didn’t take you as the type to like kids so much.”

“I love kids!They’re just so small and cute. I just wanna squish ‘em all,” Oikawa laughs. “I used to babysit my cousin all the time…..now that I think about it, we would have the cutest kids.”

Kageyama chokes on his own spit. 

“A girl,” Oikawa continues, undeterred, “A girl with Tobio’s eyes, Iwa-chan’s hair, and my cheekbone structure. Wouldn’t she be the cutest?” 

“Only if she doesn’t inherit your personality,” Iwaizumi deadpans.

“You seem like you would be good with kids, Iwaizumi-san,” Kageyama says over Oikawa’s affronted gasp.

“Really?” Iwaizumi frowns, “What makes you say that?”

“Well you’ve been taking such good care of Oikawa-san,” Kageyama retorts, lips curling upwards in a smirk. 

Iwaizumi practically  _ screams  _ with laughter, as Oikawa whines at the unfairness of it all. They keep the ruckus for a good five minutes, when the sudden chime of the doorbell surprises them into silence. 

“Coming!” Kageyama yells as he rushes to the door, sliding a bit on the hardwood floors, and Oikawa following hot on his heels. 

Kageyama doesn’t have the chance to open the door fully before there’s a blur of orange hair rushing forward to attach to his legs. “To-chan!” Natsu giggles looking up at Kageyama. 

Hinata rolls his eyes at his sister’s exuberance before stepping inside. Oikawa glances between the two HInata siblings and he can see the similarities in them in their hair, their eyes, and their overabundance of energy. 

“I’ll be back to pick you up around 6, okay?” Hinata says to Natsu, but she’s busy still clinging to Kageyama and telling him about the cake she helped bake with her mom last week. “I don’t know why I even bother,” Hinata sighs. “She’s completely in love with him.”

Hinata leaves and Natsu pauses in her story long enough to call out a “Bye nii-chan!” as he goes. Finally, Natsu unsticks herself from Kageyama long enough for him to make introductions. 

“Natsu, this is Oikawa-san. He’s my senpai from school.” Oikawa gives Natsu his sunniest smile and (as usual, ladies of all ages love him) Natsu grins, eyes big and gleaming. 

“You’re so tall~!” she says in awe. “You’re even taller than To-chan! You go to school with To-chan and Nii-chan? That means you get to watch them go  _ whoosh  _ and  _ gwah  _ all time! I wanna go to school with To-chan too!”

Oikawa can’t help but laugh, she’s so  _ cute.  _ He’s not even put out that Natsu’s calling Kageyama “To-chan”, even though that’s an even cuter nickname than Tobio-chan. 

“And this,” Kageyama says, steering Natsu into the living room where Iwaizumi is still lounging, though Oikawa humorously notes, he’s now sitting up ramrod straight as if Natsu is gonna give him a job interview. “This is Iwaizumi-san. He’s my senpai too.”

“Nice to meet you, Natsu-chan.” Iwaizumi’s trying to appear as non-threatening as he can, Oikawa can tell, but still Natsu frowns at him suspiciously and hides behind Kageyama.  Iwaizumi’s face falls and Oikawa twitches, the strain of holding in his laughter getting to him. 

“What’re they doing here To-chan? We’re supposed to be playing together today,” Natsu mutters. 

“Well, we’re dating so I was hoping we could all play together?” Kageyama explains with a nervous smile. 

“You’re dating!?” Natsu glances between the three of them frantically. “To-chan! They need to pass my test first before I can let them date you!”

“Test?” Kageyama echoes. 

“Yes, To-chan! Nii-chan told me if I wanted to date someone they would have to pass his test so they have to pass my test!” Natsu says this with complete authority, frowning at both Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and Oikawa finds himself unthinkingly nodding in agreement. 

“We’ll pass your test, Natsu-chan,” Oikawa interjects over Kageyama’s embarrassed stuttering, and Iwaizumi’s shocked silence. “Isn’t that right Iwa-chan?”

“Uh...yeah?”

“Good,” Natsu says with a smile, “Now into the backyard for the first test!” She grabs Kageyama’s hand then Oikawa’s and marches them all outside. 

Xx

They’re standing out on the manicured back lawn waiting for whatever test Natsu decides. “Hmmmm,” she says deep in thought as she appraises Iwaizumi and OIkawa. Unconsciously, Iwaizumi crosses his arms over his chest, unintentionally making himself appear bigger and broader. Natsu pales a little and directs her attention to Oikawa. 

“Since you’re the tallest we’ll start with you!” Natsu exclaims, pleased when Oikawa stands up straighter and gives a dramatic salute. “Your test….is to give me the best piggyback ride! Even better than To-chan’s”

“Of course I can beat Tobio-chan’s piggybacks,” Oikawa says confidently, before he’s jabbed right in the ribs by Kageyama. 

“Hey! You don’t get to call To-chan Tobio!” Natsu pouts, “That’s  _ my  _ nickname!”

_ This.  _ This is where Oikawa draws the line. 

“Well,  _ I’ve  _ been calling Tobio-chan Tobio-chan longer than you’ve been alive!” 

Iwaizumi and Kageyama watch on with a mixture of amusement and second hand embarrassment as Natsu and Oikawa bicker about who started what nickname first. Iwaizumi doesn’t know what’s more sad: Oikawa arguing with a six year old or the fact that he’s  _ losing.  _

“Fine,” Oikawa pouts, defeated. “I’ll just have to come up with a better nickname then. Hmm….ah! I got it! Tobio-chan, I’ll call you baby from now on. And Iwa-chan you can be babe. Nice, right?”

“Just get on with your test already,” Kageyama groans, hiding his face in his hands. 

Xx

Oikawa lets Natsu climb on his back and then higher up onto his shoulders. Immediately, Natsu’s giggling, tiny hands clasped in Oikawa’s hair. For a good half hour Natsu orders Oikawa around as they explore the garden Kageyama’s mom planted. 

From across the yard, Iwaizumi and Kageyama watch Oikawa indulge Natsu in all her desires, even getting on all fours and pretending to be a horse so she can ride on his back. Iwaizumi’s impressed that for once, Oikawa’s ridiculous personality is coming in handy. 

It’s no surprise that Oikawa passes his “test”. 

Xx

“So, Iwaizumi-san, what’re you good at?” Natsu ventures. 

Iwaizumi’s silent for a moment, “Fighting?” Kageyama sighs loudly as Oikawa rubs at his eyes suddenly tired. 

“He’s kidding, Natsu-chan!” Oikawa interrupts before Natsu can get anymore scared of  Iwaizumi. “But he is strong! He gives the best swing pushes in the prefecture!”

Natsu’s eyes light up, and she lunges forward to take Iwaizumi’s hand “Let’s go to the park right now.”

Xx

“Push me higher!” Natsu demands, then squealing in delight as the swing is pushed higher. Iwaizumi watches in amusement as Natsu kicks her legs in the air, one of her shoes slipping off in the process. 

She asks to be pushed higher and higher until she’s satisfied and is swinging higher than ever before. Iwaizumi slows the swing down, happy Natsu managed to swing to her own fulfillment before his arms gave out. 

“Wait! There’s one more thing I want to try!” Natsu cries. 

“What is it?”

“I wanna jump off the swing and you catch me!”

“That’s a bit…” Iwaizumi trails off worriedly. 

“Pretty pleaaaase,” Natsu begs, turning big brown eyes up at Iwaizumi, and he’s absolutely powerless against them. 

“Fine. Just don’t jump when the swing’s going too high. And don’t jump too suddenly!”

“YAY! Okay! Be sure and catch me!”

Iwaizumi hovers in front of Natsu’s swing like a worried mother hen, as Natsu gets herself to her desired altitude. She counts down from three and leaps off the swing, her jump a little reminiscent of her brother on the court, and Iwaizumi catches her perfectly. 

“You passed, Hajime-chan!” Natsu giggles. 

Xx

Kageyama comes out of the kitchen with snacks to find the three of them, Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and Natsu lying on the floor asleep. Kageyama bites his lip on a smile. Once Natsu had passed Oikawa and Iwaizumi, she officially allowed them all to date her To-chan. 

Since there’s no one there to judge him, Kageyama watches the three of them sleep peacefully. Natsu laying on a couch cushion and covered with a blanket, and Oikawa spooning Iwaizumi, both of them sprawled out on the rug. 

Slipping his phone out of his pocket, Kageyama takes a quick picture of them, setting it as his lockscreen immediately. As he stares at the photo he recalls Oikawa’s talk about having a kid of their own and Kageyama can’t help but blush. 

He sinks down to the floor near the sleeping trio and runs a hand through Oikawa’s hair and cups Iwaizumi’s cheek. “I think I’d want to have kids with the both of you too,” he says softly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok but i hc super hard that natsu has the biggest and most pure crush on kageyama ever and iwaoi can't do anything abt it she's so precious. this chapter was so much fun and it got a little out of hand afjdkajakjakj. gonna be introducing new aus soon!!


	13. Don't Look Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ap biology sucks.....literally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s/o to my attention span....i wrote this in one sitting and i havent focused on one thing for more than 20 minutes since 2011

There are only two things keeping Iwaizumi awake right now: his desperate need to get a good grade in AP biology, and the pen he’s been playing with for the past fifteen minutes. He’s just  _ so  _ bored, and it’s cold, and his body is just  _ screaming  _ at him to shut his eyes and sleep. 

He does fall asleep, kinda. Maybe for about .02 seconds. His head droops before he jerks back awake, and the pen slips out of his grasp onto the floor. 

Next to him, Oikawa is giggling, “Don’t get whiplash from jerking your head up and down like that, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi ignores him in favor of leaning under the the desk they’re sharing to reach for his pen. He’s just gotten a hold on it, when he looks up instinctively to see that the guy sitting in front of him is getting a blowjob under the desk. 

Crouched under his desk, Iwaizumi has the perfect, totally unwanted vantage point. The guy on his knees is obviously into it, bobbing his head, and occasional Iwaizumi catches a peek of his tongue working around the other guy’s cock. 

Pen completely forgotten, Iwaizumi watches transfixed at the way the boy on his knee’s adam’s adam bobs as he swallows and he notices his hand move from its vice grip on the other’s knee to the other guy’s crotch to do something. 

Whatever it is, it must be good, because Iwaizumi can hear a quiet hiss and then a hand is threading into the dark hair of the guy on his knees. Iwaizumi doesn’t quite know how long he’s been rooted in place underneath his desk staring like some kind of voyeur, but he’s just about to shuffle back into  his seat and pretend like nothing ever happened, when the guy on his knees opens blue yes to make  _ direct  _ eye contact with Iwaizumi. 

Instead of slinking away with some sort of dignity, Iwaizumi jerks upwards, shocked, and bangs his head against the bottom of his desk, in his rush to get back into his chair. 

“What the  _ fuck!”  _ Oikawa hisses as Iwaizumi scrambles back into his chair with absolutely no grace and making as much noise as possible. He pauses then peers closely at Iwaizumi, eyes narrowed. “Do you have a fever? Your face is so  _ red.  _ I thought idiots couldn’t get sick.”

“You’re the idiot, idiot,” Iwaizumi whispers back hotly. He rips out a sheet of paper and scribbles down instructions to drop something and lean down to pick it up. Iwaizumi slides the note over to Oikawa, who raises an eyebrow in suspicion, but obediently drops his pen. 

Iwaizumi can tell the exact moment Oikawa notices what’s going on, because he makes a gurgled sort of noise before he reappears in his chair face as red as Iwaizumi feels. 

Oikawa starts making wild hand gestures, and Iwaizumi gives him a  _ look  _ that clearly communicates to forget everything he just saw. Resolutely, Iwaizumi stares straight ahead in an attempt to focus on the lesson about the human nervous system. His attempt fails. 

His eyes drift down, where, now that he  _ knows  _ what’s happening in front of him, he can’t take his eyes away. Iwaizumi’s usually thankful he sits in the  very last row of the classroom, but now he’s beginning to regret his seat choice. 

To his surprise, when his eyes drift back down beneath the desk, the guy on his knees is  _ still  _ looking at him. They make eye contact, and Iwaizumi doesn’t think he’s imagining that the guy starts to suck even harder. 

At one point, he pulls back, mouth open and blue eyes dark, to touch his red, swollen lips with sticky fingers. Iwaizumi thinks he might cum in his fucking pants. 

Clearly liking the attention, the guy laps at the cock in front of him, and tongues the slit, teasing, before taking the whole thing in his mouth with no problem at all. His cheeks are hollowed out and Iwaizumi doesn’t know if he’s imagining the soft slurp he hears. 

Oikawa grips his arm, and Iwaizumi doesn’t even have to glance at him to know he’s watching too. The guy shifts on his knees some, and closes his eyes as he bobs his head faster and faster. Iwaizumi watches as the seated guy’s leg begins to jiggle with the strain of keeping himself still, before he tenses, head tilted back some, then finally slumping in his chair.

Nothing should be shocking to Iwaizumi anymore, but he’s absolutely floored when the guy on his knees pulls back, looks in their direction and blatantly  _ swallows.  _ Iwaizumi’s practically sweating  as the guy licks the remaining cum off his lips. 

The final blow to Iwaizumi’s already fragile soul comes when the guy grins and  _ winks  _ at them. Iwaizumi can hear Oikawa’s jaw drop next to him. 

Casually, the guy slides from between the legs of the other, to plop into his chair. Iwaizumi doesn’t have to heart to even try to focus on the lecture anymore in favor staring holes in the back of mystery blow job guy’s head.

A million questions are buzzing around in Iwaizumi’s head, and by the time the bell rings, he has answers to none of them. The teacher dismisses them, and against his will Iwaizumi’s eyes drift to mystery guy as he heads to the door. 

Before he leaves, he turns to them and grins. This is the first good look they’ve gotten of him, and Iwaizumi’s takes in sharp eyes, silky black hair, and a defined jaw. Iwaizumi’s heart lurches in his chest because--

“Shit, he’s cute,” Oikawa mumbles. 

 

Xx

 

Predictably, for the rest of the day Iwaizumi has to put up with Oikawa’s waxing poetic about the guy in their science class. Well, who was in their class  _ today  _ for the sole purpose of satisfying some sort of kink maybe. 

“I think I’m in love, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa sighs as they retrieve their shoes from the entrance. 

“You say that at least once a week, so excuse me if I can’t take you….serious...ly….” Iwaizumi trails off when he notices a note in his shoe locker. 

“What? What is it?” Oikawa asks immediately. He too notices the note, and without preamble snatches it out from between Iwaizumi’s shoes. “Iwa-chan’s got a looooooove letter,” he laughs, but as he unfolds the note he quickly falls silent and  _ blushes.  _

Iwaizumi’s instantly terrified, anything bad enough to render Oikawa Tooru, the biggest big-mouth on the planet, speechless has got to be bad. With nervous hands Iwaizumi takes the note from Oikawa and it doesn’t take long to see why Oikawa reacted the way he did. 

_ “I see you two enjoyed the show. If you wanna know what else I can do with my mouth you should hit me up sometime.”  _ the note reads in blocky characters and Iwaizumi wants to  _ scream.  _

“Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi looks up to find Oikawa grinning, his eyes bright “I really do think I’m in love.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a new month means a new au!!!! this au, affectionately dubbed slut au, is a fave of mine. btw kags is the one giving the blowjob if u couldn't tell. and also im using the term slut w a lot of affection. there's nothing wrong w bein a slut and kags is the most handsome slut lmao. special kudos to [ slythindoricequeen](http://slythindoricequeen.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for all this help w this au and many more yet to be written.


	14. Lab Partners, Webcams, and Private Shows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikawa makes iwaizumi's camboy dreams come true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oikawa's an accepting boyfriend and has great taste in boys but his ideas are awful and he shouldnt be left alone. bad things will happen.

Kageyama checks his appearance in the webcam repeatedly, tilting his head to assure he looks good from all angles. He pulls back to fluff his hair just so, all in an effort to up his cute factor to the max.

Once he’s satisfied he smooths a hand down his shirt, cropped short above his belly button, and see through enough to tease glimpses of his nipples if you look hard enough. He adjust his shorts on his hips before running through a mental checklist of the things needed. 

Lube? Check. Vibrator? Check. Dildo? Here Kageyama picks up the plastic cock, wiggling it around and letting it flop about. Check. 

“Alright, here we go,” Kageyama mutters to himself, reaching out to hit the spacebar on his keyboard, officially starting the recording. Almost instantly, the chatroom begins to fill with viewers, already commenting about how cute their “Aoi-chan” is today. 

Kageyama glances at the time at the bottom of the computer screen, good, he has about three hours to finish the show up and then shower before his boyfriend gets him. With a smile, he directs all of his attention to the webcam, turning on all the charm. 

“Hi there everyone~!”

 

Xx

 

Oikawa comes home an hour early from a chem test he absolutely  _ aced  _  with the intention of surprising his boyfriend with takeout and a free schedule for the rest of the day. 

Stepping into the apartment, Oikawa is a bit put off that Kageyama’s not at the door to greet him like usual so he wanders towards their bedroom where he assumes Kageyama is either asleep or reading one of his volleyball magazines too intensely again. 

He deposits the takeout on the coffee table, and the closer he gets to their shared bedroom the more noises he can hear, which means Tobio isn’t asleep just too preoccupied with the latest issue of  _ Volleyball Monthly  _ to greet his handsome and benevolent boyfriend with a kiss _.  _ With a smirk he creeps closer and closer to their room before pulling open the door as silently as possible. What he stumbles upon has absolutely nothing to do with  _ Volleyball Monthly.  _

Oikawa gapes, speechless, as he takes in the sight of Kageyama riding a plastic cock Oikawa didn’t even know they  _ had,  _ rolling his hips in a smooth rhythm, lips bitten red and cheeks flushed. Most shocking of all is the fact that Kageyama is doing all of this on  _ camera.  _ From where he stands he can clearly see the recording light on the webcam lit up a steady green light. 

As if watching Kageyama slide a hand up his shirt to rub at his own nipples isn’t enough to kill Oikawa where he stands, Kageyama starts  _ dirty talking.  _ Mumbling things about how good he feels, how  _ wet  _ he is inside, all with a teasing grin and lowered eyelashes. 

_ This explains why he’s so good at dirty talk.  _ Oikawa had noticed when they first hooked up a year and a half ago that Tobio had an extremely dirty mouth that was quite at odds with his innocent exterior. Oikawa had thought nothing of it up, but apparently his boyfriend is a camboy. 

When Kageyama sits up straight to begin jacking himself off with one hand, and sucking on the fingers of his other hand, Oikawa decides that his boyfriend isn’t just a camboy, he’s a damn good camboy. 

 

Xx

 

The webcam light has just blinked off when there’s clapping near the door. Heart pounding, Kageyama whips around to find Oikawa leaning against the doorway, face completely unreadable. 

“I-I-I can explain,” Kageyama blurts out, stumbling over his words as Oikawa continues to step closer and closer. Kageyama’s heat thuds in his ears because he doesn’t think he’s seen Oikawa look this serious  _ ever.  _

Oikawa continues to stride forward until he’s standing where Kageyama continues to sit on their bed. Kageyama’s bracing himself for a breakup when thoughtfully, Oikawa says “Your lighting could’ve been better and you should invest in a higher quality webcam instead of relying on the one built into your laptop.”

“You’re….you’re not mad?” Kageyama’s looking up at Oikawa through his lashes, trying to look as apologetic as possible. 

“Yeah a little,” Oikawa admits, running a hand through Kageyama’s hair affectionately when he wilts sadly, “But it’s okay. More importantly: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS I COULD’VE HELPED YOU MAKE THIS WHOLE CAMBOY THING EVEN BETTER! That’s it, Tobio-chan! I’m your new manager!”

The relief Kageyama feels at not being dumped instantly, dissolves as Oikawa keeps talking. “I’ll have you know I’m one of the most popular camboys in the country.” he says crossing his arms over his chest with a pout. 

“Oh yeah?” Oikawa raises an eyebrow. “I don’t think I believe you, Tobio-chan. I need some proof.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

Here Oikawa smirks and tugs Kageyama up to stand by the hips, pressing them close together. “I wanna sample the goods. Want you to dirty talk me like you do your fans,” he leans in to kiss Kageyama once, grinning to himself when Kageyama whines as they part. “Don’t forget your toy either, because I’m not doin’ any work.”

Kageyama bites his lip, and the look he gives Oikawa is absolutely  _ sinful.  “Okay,”  _ he grins. 

 

Xx

 

Iwaizumi's in such a rush to get to his laptop after class he forgets to take off his shoes. Hastily, he yanks them off before tossing them back near the entrance. One bounces off the door into the umbrella holder but Iwaizumi doesn't care that future him is gonna shuffle around the apartment tomorrow looking for the shoe before he'll remember. He's gotta get to his laptop  _ now.  _

Thursdays are days Iwaizumi hold near and dear. Yeah his 10 o'clock chem lab is literal hell most days, but he gets to come home to a new video from his favorite camboy, Aoi-chan, every week. 

The chatroom’s already packed with comments by time Iwaizumi logs in just two minutes before the live stream’s scheduled to start. Iwaizumi supposes it’s kinda sad to be a twenty three year old fawning over a camboy he’ll never meet in real life, but he consoles himself with the knowledge that at least he isn’t as fanatic as some of the other people in the chats, like the ones right now discussing how cute the mole on Aoi-chan’s thigh is. 

Cute mole or not, Iwaizumi’s not  _ that  _ big of a fan. He tips a little once, twice a month when he’s not completely broke, and he stays out of the chat most of the time. It’s not his fault Aoi-chan’s so  _ cute.  _

As if on cue, the video blinks on and there in all his glory is Aoi-chan, dark hair tousled and teasing grin in place. Iwaizumi wants to die he is so  _ cute.  _ Not to mention the video production has been getting better and better these past few weeks. First it was different lighting, and then HD video streaming, not to mention the new outfits. Iwaizumi just about died when three weeks ago Aoi was wearing lingerie so skimpy and see through he might as well been naked. 

Today Aoi’s wearing an oversized t-shirt, but Iwaizumi can see lacy, black fabric peeking out from the low collar of the shirt. Immediately, watchers start commenting over and over asking what’s under the t-shirt.

“Wanna know what’s underneath?” Aoi asks, playing coy as he tilts his head to the side and slides the hem of the shirt upwards to reveal more of tan, toned thighs. “It’ll cost you.”

“God, he’s so cute,” Iwaizumi laments, tugging at his hair with one hand, and reaching for his credit card with the other.

Xx

 

Two months later, Iwaizumi’s completely over Aoi-chan. Well almost. He still never misses a Thursday update, but he doesn’t spend the whole time whining to himself that one of the cutest boys he’s even see he’ll never meet in person. 

The healer of his heartbreak? The cute guy that sits in front of him in Advanced Chem. The cute boy with the most charming grin, who not only flirted with Iwaizumi nearly every day of class, but got his phone number a week into meeting  _ and  _ asked Iwaizumi to be his lab partner. 

Iwaizumi didn’t even have to  _ beg,  _ cute guy, or more commonly known as Oikawa Tooru, just turned around with that flirty smirk Iwaizumi’s kinda in love with, and practically demanded Iwaizumi be his partner. 

Which is how Iwaizumi finds himself riding the train to Oikawa’s apartment to work on their giant ass lab report. He shouldn’t be as excited as he is, but he still has to force the face-splitting grin from spreading across his face, in an effort to not look like a giant idiot. 

“What are you so happy for?” Oikawa teases, because of  course Iwaizumi isn’t good at  _ not  _ looking like a goofy idiot. 

“I can’t be happy I have a decent lab partner for once? I’m practically guaranteed an A,” Iwaizumi pats himself on the back for playing it cool. 

Oikawa gasps dramatically, placing the back of his hand on his forehead, “And here I thought you liked me for my looks, Iwa-chan! I can’t believe you think I’m ugly! What will become of my career as a stripper? Or as a camboy?”

“You’re not really not the camboy type,” Iwaizumi laughs. 

“And you would know.” Oikawa’s grin suddenly turns sharper, and Iwaizumi can feel a blush creep across his cheeks. “What’s the name of that one camboy you’re in love with?”

“His name is Aoi-chan,” Iwaizumi sniffs. “And I’m not in love with him,” he tacks on belatedly, “I would just sell my left lung to meet him in person, that’s all.”

“That sounds a lot like love, Iwa-chan. That or obsession.” Iwaizumi glares at him and Oikawa bursts into laughing, nearly doubling over, and Iwaizumi is loathe to find his laugh to be as cute as the rest of him. .

“Shut up. I’m missing this week’s video because of you. And they’re so  _ good.  _ And lately they’ve been getting even better. Aoi-chan’s high quality I’m telling you.”

“I told him people would would notice if we upped the quality,” Oikawa mutters to himself. 

“What?”

“Nothing, don’t mind me,” Oikawa says sweetly, and Iwaizumi doesn’t think he’s imagining the wicked tilt to Oikawa’s smile. 

 

Xx

 

Oikawa’s apartment is small, but decorated a not nicer than Iwaizumi’s place has ever looked. It’s clean and homey, and Iwaizumi finds himself relaxing completely. Some parts of the apartment even feel strangely familar. 

Iwaizumi doesn’t know if Oikawa has a roommate or not, but the shower has been running in another room since they arrived. “You’re running water you know,” Iwaizumi tells Oikawa when he flops down on the couch while Iwaizumi occupies a spot on the floor. 

“Yeah, my boyfriend’s taking a shower.” 

Of course, cute boy has a boyfriend. Iwaizumi mourns to himself for a moment, completely missing the odd, mischievous glance Oikawa sends his way. 

They’ve just gotten to a serious start, experiment notes spread all over the coffee table when Iwaizumi notices the sound of the shower has finally stopped. Moments later there’s a figure striding into a room with nothing on but a fuzzy blue towel wrapped around his waist. 

Iwaizumi would be flustered in the presence of a naked stranger anyways, but Iwaizumi’s doubly flustered because Oikawa’s boyfriend is dripping wet, very attractive, and looks  _ very  _ familiar. After a moment of staring speechless, it dawns on him: Oikawa’s boyfriend looks  _ just  _ like Aoi-chan. 

“You didn’t tell me we were gonna have a guest, babe,” the boyfriend says, and he even  _ sounds  _ just like Aoi-chan. 

“I wouldn’t need to if you’d put on some clothes, you idiot,” Oikawa rolls his eyes but he’s laughing. 

“Keep talking to me like that and I’ll drop the towel,” Iwaizumi chokes on air as the boyfriend makes a move to unwrap the towel. 

“Please…...don’t, we have company,” Oikawa gestures towards Iwaizumi with a flourish, “Iwa-chan, this is my boyfriend. Tobio-chan, this is Iwa-chan.”

“Kageyama Tobio, pleased to meet you,” Kageyama bows slightly before stiffens up in realization, “Wait. Are you  _ that  _ Iwaizumi? The one with the pretty eyes and biceps to die for? The one Oikawa hasn’t stop pining for since this semester started?”

“Um...yes?” Iwaizumi agrees hesitantly over Oikawa’s vehement denials that he spent any time at all pining. Iwaizumi’s blushing hard enough as is, but he just about pops a blood vessel when Kageyama plops down next to Iwaizumi, still naked. 

“I’m glad you came over Iwaizumi-san!” Kageyama chirps. “Now I can finally meet Tooru’s crush!”

Iwaizumi’s brain is too fried to properly freak out that apparently he’s Oikawa’s fucking  _ crush.  _ The cute boy from his lab has a crush on  _ him.  _ But that’s a matter for another time. All he can focus on now is the warmth radiating from Kageyama’s skin. Iwaizumi’s still hyper aware of how much this guy looks like his favorite camboy. Same dark hair and blue eyes, the same eyes getting closer and closer to Iwaizumi’s face. 

“Why’re you so red, Iwaizumi-san? You sick?”

In response to Kageyama’s question, Iwaizumi chokes on air, and blushes impossibly harder. Oikawa, for once, swoops in to the rescue. He smacks Kageyama in the thigh, ignoring Kageyama’s yelp of pain. 

“Shoo! Get lost! Go put on some clothes already, we have work to do. Go polish a volleyball or something!”

Pouting, Kageyama stands up to shuffle to their bedroom, but not without snatching Oikawa’s beer from the table and scrambling away with it. 

For a half hour it’s just the two of them.  They manage to complete the first two parts of their lab report, and Iwaizumi’s cheeks are no longer on fire. The studious atmosphere is shattered the moment Kageyama saunters back into the living room wearing shorts just a few centimeters short of being indecent. 

Iwaizumi jumps from staring at Oikawa’s lips as he focuses on chem equations to staring at the way Kageyama’s shorts ride up as he makes himself comfortable on the nearby lounge chair. He knows he’s being obvious about it, but his thighs are so  _ toned  _ and holy fucking fuck he’s got the same fucking mole on his inner thigh, the exact same as Aoi-chan. 

Now Iwaizumi’s 97% sure his crush is dating his favorite camboy, and he’s 99% sure his life is a big cosmic joke. 

Oikawa watches Iwaizumi’s minor mental breakdown then follows his gaze to where Kageyama’s lounging innocently in his chair, doing absolutely nothing yet managing to be distracting. 

“Tobio-chan, go make yourself useful and clean something. You’re distracting poor Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says, hefting a throw pillow and tossing it at Kageyama’s head with pinpoint accuracy. 

“Sorry, Iwa-chan,” Kageyama bats his eyelashes at Iwaizumi, obviously unapologetic, and grinning when Iwaizumi flushes again.

“Will you  _ please  _ stop trying to seduce my crush--I mean lab partner?”

“Ha! You do have a crush!” Kageyama crows triumphantly, “And you couldn’t even admit it to your own boyfriend. I’m so hurt.”

“You’re okay with your boyfriend having a crush on someone else?” Iwaizumi blurts out, managing, at last to find his voice. 

“We have an open relationship,” Kageyama smirks. 

“Yup. I don’t mind if someone else takes a good look at Tobio-chan,” Oikawa agrees. He gives Iwaizumi a  _ look  _ and Iwaizumi is certain those words have a double meaning. 

“Can I use your bathroom?” he asks, voice carefully devoid of emotion. 

“Down the hall to your right,” Oikawa calls out, still smiling. 

“Thanks.”

 

Xx

 

Kageyama watches Iwaizumi leave the room, and the moment he hears the bathroom door close again, Kageyama turns to Oikawa. “He’s  cute, but is he okay? He’s been acting all embarrassed. You didn’t do anything to him, right?”

“No,” Oikawa says with the tone of voice that means  _ yes  _ “It’s just that he may or may not know you as Aoi-chan, and watches your videos.”

Calmly, Kageyama rises from the chair to approach where Oikawa’s sitting like he isn’t the world’s  _ idiot.  _ “OIKAWA WHAT THE FUCK!”

Kageyama continues to yell until he notices Iwaizumi standing in the doorway. He yanks Oikawa ungently by the arm to stand, then grabs him by the head to make Oikawa bow next to him. “I’m so sorry for this idiot. He didn’t tell me anything I swear.”

Iwaizumi cocks his head in confusion. 

“Oh my GOD!” Kageyama screams “He didn’t tell you who I was before you came here?” Kageyama doesn’t even wait for Iwaizumi’s reply, before he’s smacking Oikawa with a couch cushion with brutal force. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU KNEW HE WATCHED MY VIDEOS AND YOU DIDN’T TELL HIM?”

“I thought it would be a pleasant surprise for Iwa-chan to meet his favorite camboy of all time!” Oikawa says defensively and Iwaizumi feels the heat in the tips of his ears. “More importantly, isn’t Iwa-chan so cute when he blushes?”

“He is,” Kageyama nods glancing at Iwaizumi who couldn’t get any redder, “BUT THAT’S NOT THE FUCKING POINT!”

“You think I’m cute?” Iwaizumi croaks. 

“No, I think you’re hot  but I’m trying to beat some sense into this idiot, so shush.” 

Oikawa watches the exchange with an evil glint in his eyes. “Iwa-chan. What did you think about our cute Tobio-chan’s new video?” He steps up behind Kageyama, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on Kageyama’s shoulder. “Oh that’s right. You didn’t get to watch it today… But I’m sure Tobio-chan wouldn’t mind giving you a private encore?”

This can’t be happening. 

Instead of flat out denying the proposition like Iwaizumi assumed he would, Kageyama bites his lip and slowly rakes his gaze up and down Iwaizumi’s form with that same teasing, playful look he gives during shows when he  _ knows  _ he’s driving his viewers crazy. 

“That’s actually a good idea,” and he  _ winks  _ and slips out of Oikawa’s grasp to shove Iwaizumi down on the couch. 

Iwaizumi’s mouth goes dry as Kageyama straddles his lap, just as Oikawa hops on the couch next to them, pulling Iwaizumi into a bruising kiss. He’s hesitant at first but after a while curls a hand around Oikawa’s nape, deepening the kiss. 

Just as Oikawa slips him some tongue, Kageyama starts grinding down on Iwaizumi's still clothed erection. The friction's getting better with each roll of Kageyama's hips and it isn't long until Iwaizumi's rock hard in his jeans and barely able to kiss back with any finesse. 

Kageyama thrusts down  _ just  _ right, making Iwaizumi pull out of the kiss with a gasp and a shudder. He throws his head back against the couch, looking up at Kageyama with heavy-lidded eyes. He's looking down at Iwaizumi with a hungry look and dark eyes. His shirt's been pushed up enough where Iwaizumi can be mesmerized by the muscles of Kageyama's stomach and his lips are bitten red. 

“Iwaizumi-san. I want to ride your cock,” Kageyama purrs, hips still moving. “Is that okay?”

Struck dumb, all Iwaizumi can do is nod. Next to him, Oikawa laughs at Iwaizumi's expression before reaching between two of the cushions to pull out a bottle of lube. 

Kageyama gratefully takes the bottle, sitting up on his knees more to prep himself with his fingers. Iwaizumi's attention split between Oikawa rumbling filthy things in his ear, kissing and biting at his neck and Kageyama moaning breathlessly as he fucks himself on two, then three, even four fingers. 

Mercifully, Oikawa pulls Iwaizumi's cock out, and immediately starts stroking him, exploiting all of Iwaizumi's weaknesses so that he's a shivering mess. He's leaking like a faucet, precum making loud, slick sounds every time Oikawa strokes his hand down. Iwaizumi's a bit embarrassed at how wet he is, until Oikawa pulls back his hand to lap at his precum covered fingers. 

“You taste so good Iwa-chan,” Oikawa moans and Iwaizumi can't look away from Oikawa's heated stare. “I bet your cum'll taste even better" 

Iwaizumi can only whimper in response. 

Oikawa pulls out a condom from his back pocket and rips it open with his teeth. They both roll the condom down, and before Iwaizumi can prepare himself, Kageyama’s already sinking down. Instinctively, Iwaizumi grabs hold of Kageyama’s hips, part of him still in shock that he’s actually touching Aoi-chan in the flesh. 

With a growl, Kageyama steadies himself with hands on Iwaizumi’s shoulders before beginning to bounce on Iwaizumi’s cock like he was starved for it. Oikawa returns to attacking his neck, leaving a trail of hickeys while jerking himself off, all the while telling Iwaizumi how good he’s making Kageyama feel. 

“You look really good right  now, Tobio-chan. Like you were made to take Iwaizumi’s dick,” Oikawa growls. 

Kageyama whimpers, sultry confidence fading a bit, overshadowed by his need to cum. He grinds down harder on Iwaizumi, toes curling, and nails  digging into Iwaizumi’s shoulders. Desperate and on the edge, Kageyama pries Iwaizumi’s hands from his hips to tug them up to his chest. 

“C’mon,  _ touch  _ me,” he demands breathlessly. 

Iwaizumi can’t help but to obey. He rolls Kageyama’s nipples between his fingers, then pinching and pulling at them, and Kageyama arches his back into each of waizumi’s touches. The movement of his hips gets faster and frantic. 

Suddenly, Kageyama grabs hold of Iwaizumi’s face and kisses him. The unexpected kiss, full of passion, and just a bit sloppily drives Iwaizumi over the edge and he lets go into the condom with a groan. Kageyama gasps on top of him and when Iwaizumi regains all his senses from one of the best orgasms of his life, he finds Oikawa’s on his knees behind Kageyama, jerking him to completion. 

Kageyama cums all over Oikawa’s hand, then allows himself to be pulled into a kiss that, from Iwaizumi’s perspective, is more teeth and tongue than lips. 

“Gonna take care of me now?” Oikawa asks with a smirk.

“I guess I can, you don’t really deserve it,” Kageyama grins. 

Oikawa ends up with his back against the coffee table, and Kageyama slips off of Iwaizumi’s lap to the floor. He hollows his cheeks, and deepthroats as much of Oikawa as he can take. Iwaizumi watches, slowly getting turned on all over again, as Oikawa grabs a hold of a fistful of Kageyama’s hair and fucks his mouth. 

Wet slurping sounds fill the room, and Iwaizumi can’t help but to stare at the look at Oikawa’s face as he bites his lips and moans. Iwaizumi can tell he’s getting close because his rhythm gets sloppy and he’s muttering soft  _ fucks  _ under his breath constantly. Kageyama must notice this too because he arches his back so that his ass is in the more in the air and he starts moaning louder and louder around OIkawa’s cock. 

Finally, Oikawa tenses and cums in Kageyama’s  mouth, some of it spilling out of his mouth onto his chin. Iwaizumi sucks in a breath as Oikawa wipes away some excess cum and presents it to Kageyama who greedily laps it up. 

Iwaizumi can’t help the noise that escapes him at the sight of that and both Oikawa and Kageyama turn to look at him. “You should stay the night, Iwa-chan.” 

He can’t accept the offer fast enough. 

 

Xx

 

Two more rounds later, they’re all tangled together in bed. Iwaizumi’s close to drifting off, the warmth of two other bodies adding to his drowsiness, when he hears Oikawa brag to Kageyama about how well his plan went. 

“And you called me an idiot for not telling him you’re Aoi-chan. Everything turned out perfectly, Tobio-chan.”

“But I’m not forgetting about you lying to me and Iwaizumi, don’t think you’re getting away with anything.” Kageyama says rolling over to face away from Oikawa. 

Iwaizumi can’t help but laugh at Oikawa’s answering whine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should be sleeping but this is one of my fav aus and i couldnt stop myself from finishing this. im actually proud of this chapter!! i feel like i had more to say but im so sleepy but bc i lub all of yall leaving kudos and comments nd bein so nice i dont mind missing sleep :') i think next chapter is a baby au? idr. dont quote me. bye!


	15. Extra Small Packages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short pieces of the gang being babies....no literally. theyre babies. well toddlers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how i feel abt this chapter *squints* anyways we're almost at 20k words nd 400 kudos thanks to everyone who's enjoyed this big ol mess of a fic!!!

**Oikawa**

 

Iwaizumi wakes up one Sunday morning to find Kageyama holding a four year old that looks eeriely similar to Oikawa. Even more creepy still, the moment the kid sees Iwaizumi’s awake he wriggles out of Kageyama’s arm to plop next to Iwaizumi in the bed.

“Mornin’, Iwa-chan!” the kid chirps with a look that clearly expressed how much he was enjoying the sight of Iwaizumi quietly lose his shit. Which means that without a doubt this is OIkawa. No matter the age he’ll forever revel in Iwaizumi’s pain.

“How’d this happen?” Iwaizumi asks, pinching Oikawa’s now chubby cheeks.

“I dunno,” Kageyama says climbing into the bed as well, looking completely unaffected by the whole thing “I woke up and he was already like this. He’s cute though that’s good.”

Oikawa practically beams at the compliment and scoots closer to Kageyama with a noise of contentment. Iwaizumi squints at them “Why are you not freaked out about this?”

“‘S not so bad being a kid,” Oikawa grins, “This jus’ means you two will pamper me all day.”

“Please don’t be a brat today, Tooru,” Iwaizumi deadpans.

“We’ll see,” Oikawa shoots back and no four year old should look so evil.

“He’s gonna be a brat, no doubt about it,” Kageyama laughs.

And he’s right.

Iwaizumi had assumed a smaller Oikawa meant less hassle but he was so _so wrong._ Baby Oikawa demanded their attention at all times. Admittedly this is only minutely different from full sized Oikawa. But Iwaizumi and Kageyama find it harder to deny this smaller Oikawa when he turns big guileless eyes up at them.

That’s how they found themselves in the grocery store at 9 in the morning when Oikawa put his tiny foot down and demanded pancakes even though they were out of pancake mix and would have to walk to the nearest convenience store.

To add insult to injury, Oikawa decided he shouldn’t have to walk anywhere, leaving Iwaizumi and Kageyama no choice but hoist the extra weight. Iwaizumi didn’t think carrying around kid would be so strenous, but once he tumbles into bed after a whole day of carrying, feeding, and constantly giving his undivided attention to a four year old he’s tired mentally _and_ physically.

He’s just about to drift off, face down and with all the lights on when the bathroom door opens carrying a wave of heat and the scent of body wash. Oikawa immediately bounds into the bed, snuggling up to Iwaizumi as if he weren’t the reason Iwaizumi’s dead tired.

“I had fun today!” Oikawa singsongs once Kageyama drags himself to the bed with a groan. If Oikawa weren’t approximately three feet tall and squishy and cute, Kageyama would consider pushing him right onto the floor.

Instead he settles for muttering “ _You_ had fun because you were calling all the shots.”

“True,”and baby Oikawa giggles and it's so _cute_ Kageyama feels his attitude leaving.

Iwaizumi sighs. Oikawa really has them whipped. “You know when you return back to normal tomorrow, we're gonna get you back for this.”

“Who says I’m turning back tomorrow? I could be stuck like this for a whole week! And by then you guys won’t even remember how I bossed you around,” Oikawa bats his eyelashes, sprawling out on Iwaizumi’s stomach.

“But in most mangas and stuff everyone returns to normal after a day. And I don’t think me and Hajime are gonna forget trekking in the rain for your _special pancake mix_ at nine in the morning so easily,” Kageyama punctuates this with a smile that promises awful things to come, before patting Oikawa’s head.

Xx

The next morning Oikawa is, as predicted, full sized again. Oikawa wastes no time in grabbing both Iwaizumi and Kageyama in a bruising group hug and peppering kisses all over their faces. He’s obviously trying to butter them up but Iwaizumi and  Kageyama aren’t buying it.

Deftly, Iwaizumi pries Oikawa’s arms from around them and turns him in the direction of the kitchen.

“Now to begin your apology you’re cooking breakfast,” Iwaizumi says laughing.

“What?” Oikawa sputters, “Wait can we negoiate this?”

“And after you’re done cooking you’re cleaning up the kitchen too,” Kageyama adds.

“Is it too late to apologize for yesterday?” Oikawa pouts hoping at least _one_ of his boyfriends will show him mercy.

“Yup,” they say in unison, both grinning like demons, and Oikawa resigns himself to his fate.

 

**Iwaizumi**

 

Months later Iwaizumi wakes up to find that he’s shrunk down to the size of a four year old. The moment Oikawa sees Iwaizumi he squeals like something inhuman and pulls Iwaizumi into a crushing hug, squishing their faces together.

“Iwa-chaaaaaaaaan! You’re so cute! I can’t take it!”

Iwaizumi endures Oikawa’s cooing and petting and even spinning him around and around. He even tolerates the baby talk.

To Iwaizumi’s immense relief Kageyama comes in just as Oikawa is preparing to toss Iwaizumi in the air to catch him.

“Oikawa-san,” Kageyama reproaches, fixing Oikawa with a dark look, “Iwaizumi is not a volleyball. Don’t toss him.”

“But he’s so cute! This is our only opportunity to see a tiny, non-brutish Iwa-chan!” as Oikawa says this Iwaizumi glares at him and sticks his tongue out at Oikawa. And because Oikawa is a drama queen he gasps  theatrically and clutches his chest “Tobio-chan! Iwa-chan just stuck his tongue out at me!”

“I did no such thing,” Iwaizumi snuggles into the crook of Kageyama’s neck, the very picture of innocence.

Xx

 

Kageyama looks up from his laptop to glance at still tiny Iwaizumi reading the newspaper on the couch, completely serious look on his face. Baby Iwaizumi is no different from normal sized Iwaizumi Kageyama’s noticed. He’s still serious, and still managed to scare Oikawa away from his debit card when Oikawa thought he could take advantage of Iwaizumi’s tiny state to indulge himself with some online shopping.

He’s a lot more respectful than Oikawa was, Iwaizumi even demanded he help clean up and washed dishes, having Oikawa hold him up to the sink’s height. Kageyama took about a million pictures because four year old Iwaizumi is utterly adorable.

A sudden noise snaps Kageyama out of his thoughts and unsurprisingly Oikawa is irritating Iwaizumi again pinching at his cheeks and fawning all over him. Iwaizumi’s trying valiantly to wriggle out of Oikawa’s hold.

With a sigh Kageyama stands from the couch to save poor Iwaizumi. Oikawa starts to tug on Iwaizumi’s cheek even harder and in retaliation Iwaizumi smacks Oikawa’s hand away. Oikawa looks on completely shocked as Iwaizumi attaches himself to Kageyama’s leg, cheeks puffed out in a pout.

“That’s right Hajime! Show Tooru you won’t let him bully you!” Kageyama scoops up Iwaizumi and begins peppering kisses on the cheek Oikawa kept pinching. Iwaizumi flushes, pleased. Oikawa means to keep pretending to be upset but the sight of Iwaizumi blushing in Kageyama’s arm is just too cute.

Xx

The first thing Iwaizumi does when he wakes up the next morning back in his normal sizeed body is yank the pillow from underneath Oikawa and smack him upside the head with it.

 

**Kageyama**

 

Kageyama wakes up nearly a year after the first incident and he’s the one shrunk down to the size of a four year old. He blinks, decides he’s not going for his morning run after all, then closes his eyes and drifts back to sleep.

The second time he awakes it’s to the sound of a camera shutter going off and when he jerks into consciousness he finds Oikawa and Iwaizumi leaning over him.

“I wanted a picture,” Oikawa says with a sheepish smile.

Kageyama just grunts at him and goes back to sleep.

Xx

 

Oikawa’s lazing around in the living room when Kageyama, who was just a lump in their bed not fifteen minutes ago comes barreling into the room. He’s barely holding onto a volleyball, that’s practically the size of his head, and the t-shirt he’s wearing is so long on him it’s a miracle he hasn’t faceplanted.

“Let’s go to the park,” Kageyama says, coming over to press the volleyball against Oikawa’s knee. “Wanna play volleyball.”

“Uh, sure! Let me just go get Iwa--” Oikawa turns to determine that yes Iwaizumi is in the kitchen, and when he turns back to Kageyama, he’s already across the room heading towards the door.

Oikawa takes a moment to marvel at Kageyama’s energy before scrambling to his feet to catch him.

Xx

They indulge Kageyama in the park until it starts to get late, and even though Kageyama’s lost a good four feet in height and a lot of hand eye coordination, he still plays enough to be partly disturbing and partly infuriating.

“Ready to eat, Tobio?” Iwaizumi calls out and immediately Tobio turns to him with a ravenous expression. 

“I want curry with--”

“With a soft boiled egg. Uhn huh.” Iwaizumi smiles as he picks up a satisfied Kageyama.

“How mean, Tobio-chan!” Oikawa cries “You let Iwa-chan pick you up but not me?”

“Because you threatened to drop me!” Kageyama pouts.

“Your heads hard enough where you feel it if I did.”

The two of them bicker all the way to the diner. 

Xx

Oikawa hadn’t believed it before, but it’s true a lot of people  _ love  _ babies. Their waitress had instantly began to coo over Kageyama who shyly tried to hide behind Oikawa to escape. She had tutted sympathetically and went about getting their order. 

Kageyama’s eaten only half of his curry before he’s nodding off, head threatening to fall in his bowl. It takes every inch of Iwaizumi’s self control to not laugh out loud and Oikawa takes no less than eight videos. 

They bundle Kageyama up and take him home and get him ready for bed. He wakes up long enough to make a mess in tub, splashing water everywhere and to crawl onto Iwaizumi’s chest where he proceeds to fall asleep. 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa watch him fondly as he snoozes away. “Ah if only he would stay this cute,” Oikawa sighs. 

 

Xx

The next morning a normal Kageyama comes strolling into their room just as Oikawa is waking up. Noticing he’s awake, Kageyama crosses his arms over his chest, “So you don’t think I’m cute, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh im kags falling asleep in his food. hm next chapter is an incubi au and im so excited for it i could CRY its gonna be all smut no plot yes goD. also updates may be even slower bc of finals and i just got my copy of persona 5 last week and it is so.....good. byeeeee
> 
> *EDIT* so somehow i managed to miss the last page of the doc and cut off a good chunk of kageyama's part so i *finally* fixed it lmaooooooooo


	16. One Black Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iwaizumi has a chance encounter with a couple of night visitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title comes from a wonder girls song (i miss them so much already) nd this chapter is nothing but smut

It's midnight when Iwaizumi finally staggers home from a photoshoot tired in both body and soul. His feet ache from the too tight dress shoes, his contacts are so dry he’s growing cacti on his corneas, and he's just ready to sleep for the next 24 hours.

He doesn't even bother to turn on the lights in his apartment, just bumps into furniture on his way to get a bottle of water out the fridge then stubs his toe as he drags himself to his bedroom. 

With bleary eyes, Iwaizumi steps into the shower, hot water relaxing him until he's nearly asleep on the shower floor. There’s a moment where he considers plopping right into bed, washing his makeup off be damned, but his stylist bitches at him enough as is, if he shows up with clogged pores and a pimple she might kill him. 

As Iwaizumi stands in the mirror doing a very half hearted skin routine, the unsettling feeling that he’s being watched washes over him. It’s almost imperceptible, but enough to give him chills and the back of his neck begins to prickle. The feeling follows him even as he finishes washing up and is finally, gloriously climbing into bed. 

Once the covers are pulled up over his chin, all thoughts of the nagging feeling leave him as fast as they came. Within minutes Iwaizumi is completely asleep. 

 

Xx

 

“It’s my turn this time!”

“No, it isn’t, you got the last three dreams!”

“Yeah, but they woke the last two times, and you got to play too. So it’s  _ my  _ turn.”

Iwaizumi is pulled into consciousness by the sound of voices in his room. Slowly, Iwaizumi creaks his eyes open to find two guys standing near his bed. 

No, not standing. They’re  _ hovering.  _ Iwaizumi blinks a couple dozen times to confirm that yeah, both of them are indeed hovering a few feet above the floor, black, bat-like wings protruding from their backs keeping them afloat. 

“What the fuck,” Iwaizumi mutters under his breath, rubbing his eyes, but  _ nope  _ there are winged strangers in his room. He is not dreaming. 

Instantly, the two floating strangers turn to him at the sound of his voice. For the first time Iwaizumi gets a good look at them and a thrill goes him. Even with only the moonlight streaming through the window Iwaizumi can tell whoever these floating strangers are, they’re hot. 

The one on the left has a head full of effortlessly styled brown hair and warm eyes that clearly shine with mischief. Curvilinear ram like horns are growing from his head, and when he catches Iwaizumi gaping at him, plump lips curve into a wicked smirk. 

Iwaizumi averts his eyes because that smile makes him want to  _ do  _ things. Not that looking away works. The presence of the right is just as striking, with sharp features and jet black hair. He has horns too, angular and curving backwards. He’s looking Iwaizumi up and down, and the look he’s giving is unmistakably  _ hungry.  _

“It’s good that you’re up,” the one on the left says, giving what is supposed to be an innocent looking smile “You can help us with a little friendly competition.”

“Competition?” Iwaizumi echoes. 

“We’re competing to see who’s the better incubus. And  _ you,”  _ here the one with the dark hair pokes Iwaizumi in the chest with a finger, “Can be our tie breaker. So how about it? Wanna have some fun?”

By this time, both incubi have stealthily crawled onto the bed with Iwaizumi, coming so close it’s hard to think clearly. He’s sure hanging out with real-life  demons, with horns and wings--oh god--and  _ tails  _ isn’t the most rational decision. But then again, he’s been single for almost three years now and one night couldn’t hurt. 

As if sensing Iwaizumi’s agreement, the incubi sidle even closer on either side of him. One has hands in his hair and the other reaches down to tease at the waistband of Iwaizumi’s underwear. 

“I’ll help you find out who’s the better incubus,” Iwaizumi says, and he’s rewarded with lips peppering kisses down his neck. “But uh…how are we gonna do this? It’s my first time doing this with two other guys.”

“Awww,” the dark haired incubus coos at his companion, “How cute. Can we keep him?”

The other incubus laughs before gently raking his nails down Iwaizumi’s chest, making him shiver. “Don’t worry about it, Iwaizumi-san. We’ll take  _ good  _ care of you.”

Iwaizumi has enough mental faculties left to stop watching the seductive plumpness of the incubi’s lips to wonder how the demon even knows his name. “What the hell,” he manages “How’d you know my name?”

“Demons know things,” the brown haired demon gloats. “And while we’re making introductions my darling Iwa-chan--”

“--Iwa…...chan?” Iwaizumi looks at the other incubi, confused.

“He makes nicknames sometimes, it’s annoying but he won’t stop,” he explains with a resigned air. 

“My nicknames are cute, Tobio-chan--.”

“--Kageyama. Call me Kageyama. I keep telling you--”

“ _ Tobio-chan,”  _ Oikawa repeats as if Kageyama hadn’t said anything at all. “Are you stalling because you know I’m gonna fuck Iwa-chan better than you?”

Kageyama visibly bristles as Iwaizumi chokes on air. “Enough talking,” he growls, leaning in closer to Iwaizumi and shoving his hand into Iwaizumi’s briefs to take his cock firmly in hand. 

“Cheater,” Oikawa mumbles under his breath, before moving in as well to kiss Iwaizumi on the lips. 

It’s a bit of a pheromone induced tangle from then on. Oikawa sucks on Iwaizumi’s tongue, fingers pulling at his hair with  _ just  _ the right amount of strength. Kageyama still has his hand in Iwaizumi’s briefs, alternating his strokes between teasingly slow, and firm and fast. He switches between the two rhythms unpredictability so that Iwaizumi’s hips are thrusting into Kageyama’s fist against his will. 

Oikawa and Kageyama kiss too, pulling away from Iwaizumi to indulge in kisses that are more teeth and tongue than lips. Iwaizumi watches on with a heady rush of heat flowing through his veins. There are hands all over and Iwaizumi’s so overwhelmed he’s shaking. 

The incubi, of course, notice, and Iwaizumi can practically taste the smug aura rolling off of them. Oikawa rakes his eyes across the flush on Iwaizumi’s face down to the tenting of his briefs then smirks, showing off an impressive array of sharp teeth. “Poor, poor Iwa-chan, if you’re feeling this good already, how are you gonna make it through the rest of the night?”

To make matters worse, Kageyama chuckles deeply, lips pressed close to Iwaizumi’s ear. “You’re so close to bursting, Iwaizumi-san. If my hand feels this good just imagine how good it’ll feel when you finally fuck me.”

Iwaizumi outright  _ whimpers.  _ These two have the upper hand over him and it’s about time for the tables to turn. With a growl Iwaizumi slides a hand under one of the ridiculous criss-crossed black leather straps barely covering a fraction of Oikawa’s chest, to thumb at a nipple. 

Almost instantly, Oikawa’s cocky facade crumbles as he arches into the touch and moans. Iwaizumi makes a pleased noise at that reaction before leaning forward and taking the other nipple into his mouth. As Iwaizumi licks around the nub, Oikawa throws his head back with a wanton groan. 

“Whoa, looks like the mighty Oikawa has been taken down by a human,” Kageyama says with an appreciative glance. “I think I like you better like this.”

Oikawa cuts Kageyama a dark look at promises trouble, and with a surprising amount of strength Iwaizumi is pushed down flat on his back with Oikawa now straddling his hips. 

“I think you two are forgetting something,” Oikawa starts, voice thick and eyes glinting, “I’m in charge here.” The hand pressing down on Iwaizumi’s chest doesn’t let up, and teasingly, Oikawa grinds his hips down onto Iwaizumi’s. 

Iwaizumi makes an embarrassing noise, because  _ shit  _ that felt good. It’s beginning to dawn on him that he’s not in control at all here, and he should just sit back and enjoy the ride. 

Pleased with Iwaizumi’s submission, Oikawa rounds on Kageyama who’s still seated near Iwaizumi’s head. Oikawa grabs hold of Kageyama’s bicep and deftly manuvers him so he’s staddling Iwaizumi as well, and his back is to Oikawa’s chest. 

“Tobio-chan,” Oikawa says lowly in Kageyama’s ear, “Be a good boy like Iwa-chan, and do as I say and you’ll get an award. Okay?” Oikawa snakes a hand down to fondle Kageyama through his sheer black pants. Iwaizumi watches as Kageyama melts at the touch, throwing his head back on Oikawa’s shoulder and rolling his hips both into Oikawa’s hand and down onto Iwaizumi. 

Oikawa looks incredibly pleased at this behavior, and removes his hand in favor of pressing Kageyama forward so he’s chest to chest with Iwaizumi. “Take this off,” he growls, pulling at Kageyama’s waistband “Take it off so I can watch Iwa-chan fuck you.”

Both Kageyama and Iwaizumi moan at the words, and then Kageyama’s scrambling to pull off all his clothes. Oikawa seems satisfied, and turns his attention to Iwaizumi’s briefs, lifting his hips to help yank them off. 

Iwaizumi squirms when the cool air hits him, but he isn’t left hanging long. Hands trace up Iwaizumi’s thighs, and then Oikawa’s tongue is licking him from base to tip, before deep-throating his cock all in one go. The suction’s perfect and Iwaizumi’s squirming underneath Oikawa the moment he starts bobbing his head up and down. 

In a valiant effort to not cum so soon, Iwaizumi rips his focus from the sensations of Oikawa swirling his tongue around the head of his cock. Iwaizumi settles his focus on Kageyama, who’s just shed the last of his clothes and is settling back on top of Iwaizumi. 

His face is flushed, and his tail twitches a little in excitement as Iwaizumi takes in the lines of Kageyama’s body. Iwaizumi gets a sudden idea. He takes hold of Kageyama’s hips and tugs him closer. 

“I’ll prep you, Tobio- _ chan. _ ” Iwaizumi laughs when Kageyama pouts at the nickname, but he offers no objections when Iwaizumi cups his ass. With one hand he reaches blindly towards his nightstand in search of lube, but when his other hand dips further down to tease at Kageyama’s entrance, he’s surprised to find he’s already slick. 

“Oh, you noticed, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa pulls off Iwaizumi’s cock with a wet  _ pop!  _ “Tobio-chan here is a special kind of incubus, he can get wet just like a girl. He loves dick so much he starts  _ dripping. _ ” 

“W-will you shut up?” Kageyama hisses. 

“But you didn’t deny it,” Iwaizumi grins as he slips two fingers inside. Kageyama’s annoyance seems to melt away immediately; without hesitation he starts fucking himself on Iwaizumi’s fingers. It’s a good view. So good Iwaizumi decides to pull Kageyama higher up his body so that he can tongue fuck him at the same time. 

Kageyama moans even louder as Iwaizumi begins to rim him. He gets a handful of Iwaizumi’s hair in a death grip as he grinds his hips down. Oikawa, who has apparently been getting off on the sounds of Iwaizumi prepping Kageyama, begins to suck Iwaizumi’s dick even harder. Wet, sloppy noises bouncing around the room with every bob of his head. 

Iwaizumi’s close. And when Oikawa scrapes his teeth along Iwaizumi’s shaft ever so gently, the sudden sensation pushes him over the edge. He’s cumming in Oikawa’s eager mouth, and Iwaizumi swears he blacks out for a moment. 

As Iwaizumi slowly comes back to himself, he’s surprised to find that he’s still hard. He doesn’t know if the incubi did something to him to make him so insatiable or if it’s his own arousal, but he’s finding that it’s not unpleasant. 

Still on his chest, Kageyama starts to squirm in impatience. “Want more,” he mumbles, voice positively dripping with sin. Something in Iwaizumi’s brain dies. He wastes no time sliding two more fingers inside Kageyama. 

There’s little to no resistance as Iwaizumi works his other digits inside, Kageyama is  _ that  _ wet. His slick is coating practically all of Iwaizumi’ hand, as he thrusts his fingers as hard as he can, making sure to tease the rim of Kageyama’s entrance with his thumb. 

Oikawa’s been watching Iwaizumi stretch Kageyama with his fingers and tongue with a sharp smile, stroking himself as he takes in the scene. Kageyama looks back over his shoulder and locks eyes with Oikawa, eyes dark and seductive. Kageyama drops his gaze down to the grip Oikawa has on his cock, and licks his lips. 

That’s when Kageyama reaches down to take Iwaizum’s wrist in a firm grip. “I’m ready. Now let me ride your dick, Iwaizumi-san.” 

“You can do whatever you want,” Iwaizumi answers back dazedly, and in response Kageyama leans down to kiss him happily, not caring that he can taste himself on Iwaizumi’s lips.

Iwaizumi lays back and watches as Kageyama positions himself over his cock. Oikawa helps, holding Iwaizumi’s cock in place so that Kageyama sinks down on it easily. Iwaizumi can’t help but moan as Kageyama eases down on him. The warmth is almost suffocating in the best kind of way, and he can’t help but to thrust his hips up impatiently.  

Looking just as happy as Iwaizumi feels, Kageyama braces his hands on Iwaizumi’s chest and starts riding him in earnest. The muscle in his thighs flex as he lifts himself up until only the head of Iwaizumi’s cock is inside, before he slams himself down again. Kageyama sets a brutal rhythm, and all Iwaizumi can do is hold on and enjoy the ride. 

The flush sitting high on Kageyama’s cheeks matches the flush on the the head of his cock as it bounces with each and every movement. From behind him, Oikawa reaches around to grab Kageyama’s cock, stroking it so that it starts to drool precum all over Iwaizumi’s chest. 

“Hm, I think you two are having too much fun without me,” Oikawa muses. And then he’s pushing Kageyama forward to slide two more fingers inside Kageyama. 

Kageyama moans loudly, falling forward so he’s chest to chest with Iwaizumi, leaving it up to Iwaizumi to move. “What are you...doing?” Iwaizumi pants out, Kageyama’s squeezing him hard and it’s getting harder and harder to focus on speaking. 

“What am I doing? I’m gonna fuck Tobio-chan too, you can’t have  _ all  _ the fun Iwa-chan!” Oikawa says, eyes trained on where Kageyama is stretched wide and dripping. 

“But there’s no way you can fit-- _ oh fuck!”  _ Iwaizumi cuts himself off because Oikawa’s pushing in and he  _ does  _ fit. Inch by inch he’s slowly pushing inside, his cock sliding against Iwaizumi’s. It’s a foreign feeling, but Iwaizumi’s quickly becoming addicted to it. 

Wedged in between them, Kageyama is practically shaking, nails digging into Iwaizumi’s shoulders. Oikawa’s hips meet flush against Kageyama’s ass, then the pauses for a moment to give Kageyama a chance to adjust. 

“In the name of all that is unholy,” Kageyama growls, voice full of desperation, “If you don’t fuck me this instant I swear I’m gonna---”

With a smile Oikawa pulls out to thrust back in with a slick noise. 

“--I’m gonna--”

Iwaizumi follows suit, thrusting upwards and Kageyama’s whole body moving with the force of it. 

“--’m...g-gonna...oh my  _ god _ .”

“You’re gonna what, Tobio-chan?” Oikawa asks with a smirk. He and Iwaizumi have established a brutal rhythm, sometimes moving in tandem, and other times one sliding out as the other pushes back in. Kageyama’s lying between them, unable to do anything but take what Iwaizumi and Oikawa give him. 

Iwaizumi feels his second orgasm creeping up on him. He can tell Kageyama’s getting close too, his eyes are threatening to roll back and his cock is making a mess all over Iwaizumi’s stomach. Looking past Kageyama, Iwaizumi locks eyes with Oikawa who looks incredibly proud of the mess he’s made of the two of them. 

Oikawa presses Kageyama more firmly on top of Iwaizumi and starts thrusting even harder, the bed rocking in time. He’s growling praise down at them, but Iwaizumi can’t hear anything over the roar of his pulse in his ears. God, he’s so close. 

HIs cock slides against Oikawa’s again, and Iwaizumi loses it. He throws his head back and cums as deep inside Kageyama as he can.

Kageyama makes a high-pitch, surprised noise, as the sensation of being filled pushes him over as well, his cum adding to the mess between him and Iwaizumi.

Oikawa continues to fuck Kageyama through his orgasm, not letting up even as Kageyama shakes and moans in overstimulation. Iwaizumi watches as Oikawa’s brow furrows and he bites his lips as he fucks into Kageyama harder and harder. 

Finally, he pulls himself out with a wet noise to jerk himself off. It’s a good image, and Iwaizumi’s starting to get hard again as he watches. And then Oikawa’s coming all over Kageyama’s back with a breathy noise. 

They take a second to catch their breaths, basking in the silence of the night. Iwaizumi is totally satisfied, and perfectly content to sleep, but then there’s someone touching his dick. 

“I wanna go again,” Kageyama whines, still plopped on top of Iwaizumi. 

“We can’t, you idiot,” Oikawa chides “Do you want to drain  _ all  _ of his life force?” Even with his eyes closed Iwaizumi can see the pout Kageyama does in response. It’s endearing. 

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa calls out sounding chipper. 

“Mm?”

“We can stay for a while, yeah? Tobio-chan likes to cuddle afterwards.”

“Mhm,” Iwaizumi agrees, not even listening. Eyes still closed he pulls the other two closer to him so he can sleep. He hopes he won’t regret this in the morning. 

Xx

 

 

“Oikawa-san. Your knee is digging into my butt.”

“Maybe your butt is in the way of my knee.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Oh? You haven’t complained about a body part of mine being in you before.”

Iwaizumi wakes up (again) to the sound of arguing. This time when he opens his eyes, Oikawa and Kageyama are cuddled together in bed with him. It’s takes a second for his brain to process what his eyes are seeing but two things instantly stand out. 

“Why are you two cuddled all over each other? I thought you were on bad terms.”

“That, Iwa-chan. Was an act.” Oikawa snuggles closer to Kageyama’s back with a grin. “But none of that matters now that you’ve let us stay here.”

“When did I do that?”

“Don’t be that way, Iwa-chan! You know you want us to say. Pretty please~ let us stay~?” Oikawa bats his eyelashes, trying to look as demure and enticing as possible. Kageyama’s giving him puppy eyes too, bottom lip jutted out and blue eyes wide.  

Iwaizumi hates how cute he finds them. He really shouldn’t agree to this. But they’re so  _ cute.  _ And the sex is...well amazing. Iwaizumi looks back at them, and somehow they’ve gotten even  _ cuter.  _ “Fine, you can stay. Try and keep out of trouble though, please.”

“We’ll be on our best~ behavior!” Kageyama crawls over to drape himself all over Iwaizumi. 

“We promise!” Oikawa agrees, resting his chin on Kageyama’s shoulder. They’re both grinning in a way that blatantly says  _ We are going to get in as much trouble as possible and you’re gonna deal with.  _

Iwaizumi sighs, already resigned to his fate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> say hello to another one of my fave aus!!! and this one comes with [art!](http://stellarsketches.tumblr.com/post/161035426464/so-i-wrote-an-au-here-abt-oikage-as-incubi-nd)
> 
> sorry this took so long to finish but ive been working through a lot both physically and emotionally but im back and aiming to update either every week or every two weeks! next chapter is iwa's bacherlor party for the wedding au! see you!!!!


	17. What do you call a man who asks for his fiances at his own bachelor’s party? Hopelessly in love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matsukawa, the supreme being of kindness and mischief, throws iwaizumi a bachelor's party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday iwaizumi! here's a chapter all abt you!!!

Five days before the wedding Iwaizumi is kidnapped by Matsukawa. Well not exactly. More like he comes home to the apartment to find Matsukawa sifting through all of Iwaizumi's closet. 

“Here put this on,” Matsukawa throws Iwaizumi the tightest pair of black jeans he owns along with a crisp v neck the moment he catches sight of him at the door. 

Iwaizumi knows better than to question it, not that he'd get any answers, Matsukawa turns away from Iwaizumi to inspect his jackets to complete the look, totally uncaring that Iwaizumi has no idea what's going on. 

And without a word, Iwaizumi heads into the bathroom to change

Xx

 

“So  _ why _ are you kidnapping me exactly?” Iwaizumi queries as he is ushered into a cab. 

Matsukawa settles himself in the backseat after giving the driver the address of a place Iwaizumi's unfamiliar with. “You thought you were getting off the hook without a bachelor's party? Think again, Hajime. As your best man i have to give you the full wedding experience.”

“Oh god. What idiotic idea did you and Hanamaki come up with?”

With a grin that brings back memories of the calamity of their high school adventures, Matsukawa settles back into the seat of the cab and says “Just wait and see.”

 

Xx

 

They end up outside of a strip club. Iwaizumi's jaw drops open because not only are they at  _ a  _ strip club they’re at  _ Opulence _ one of the most lavish and expensive strip clubs in town. Leave it to Matsukawa to do something so over the top. 

“A strip club?”

“Isn't it beautiful?” Matsukawa sighs dreamily. 

“You thought it was a good idea to have my bachelor's party at a  _ strip club _ ?”

“It's a wedding tradition!  _ Somebody  _ has to go to a strip club! And God forbid we send Oikawa here, he'd jump on stage and start his own show. And that's not something Hanger needs to add to his reputation.”

Iwaizumi tries to be a good fiance and defend Oikawa’s honor, but it’s true. Oikawa would jump on stage and strip with absolutely no hesitation. He’d probably get kicked out of the club too. 

“And we couldn’t bring Kageyama here,” Matsukawa rambles on. “Oikawa would throw a fit if we tried to “corrupt” his “pure, sweet Tobio-chan”. Not to mention Captain Thunder Thighs and his wife.”

“Are you…...talking about Sawamura and Sugawara?”

“Have you seen his thighs?” Matsukawa grabs the lapels of Iwaizumi’s jacket and pulls him in closer “He could crush a head with those thighs. Perferably mine.”

“I…”Suddenly Iwaizumi is very,  _ very  _ tired. “I won’t tell Hanamaki you just said that.”

“Oh he knows. But the point is,” Matsukawa lets Iwaizumi go and pats his chest pocket gently, “It had to be you. So enough chit-chat, let’s get going!”

Iwaizumi opens his mouth to protest further but Matsukawa pays him to mind. Instead he steers him to the entrance of the building and Iwaizumi can’t help but be impressed when the bouncer lets them in immediately after Matsukawa says his name. 

It’s called  _ Opulence  _ for reason. All the dancers are dressed in sparkly, extravagant skimpy outfits that flash in the warm red lights flashing all around. The stages and counters are made of a dark, cherry wood that looks expensive even to Iwaizumi’s inexperienced eye. 

Matsukawa leads Iwaizumi to a booth situated around a stage. Iwaizumi spots Kunimi, Kindaichi and Hanamaki immediately as well as some friends from college. They’re all, save for Hanamaki, already throwing back drinks like they own the place. 

They get even rowdier when they realize the “man of the hour” has finally arrived. Iwaizumi makes his rounds, greeting everyone, and more than one of his friends is either shoving a shot or a handful of paper money to give to the dancers. 

Finally, Iwaizumi makes it to his designated seat between the idiotic duo of Hanamaki and Matsukawa, already a little tipsy. Hanamaki is giving a rundown of how Oikawa’s bachelor's party is going and it finally hits Iwaizumi why Hanamaki shouldn’t even  _ be  _ here. 

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Hanamaki doesn’t even miss a beat, “I came on Oikawa’s behalf to make sure his fiancee isn’t cheating on him with some gorgeous, hunky exotic dancer,” he says cooly. But then a smirk stretches across Hanamaki’s normally impassive face. “You didn’t think I’d pass up the opportunity to see you in a strip club, did you?”

“I hate both of you,” Iwaizumi groans. 

 

Xx

 

Half an hour and several drinks later a bass heavy song clicks on and a pair of male dancers strut out to begin a routine. Iwaizumi can’t help but watch because they’re good, bodies twisting in appealing ways and practically defying gravity as they spin and slide up and down the pole. 

Matsukawa notices him watching and jostles his arm playfully, probably saying something stupid to go along with it. Iwaizumi pays him no mind, instead he’s thinking about what it would be like if Oikawa and Kageyama gave him a striptease for his birthday next year. 

Maybe they could install a pole in the living room…?

“Hi there handsome,” a voice purrs from above him. 

Iwaizumi blinks out of his totally inappropriate thoughts, looking up to find one of the dancers crouching down on the edge of the stage to speak to him. Iwaizumi takes in the classically handsome face, toned muscles, and bodysuit that’s an alluring mix of black mesh and leather. 

“They call me Onyx,” the guy continues, eyes alight when he catches Iwaizumi looking him and down. “And for you, Handsome, I’m willing to do anything you like.”

Hanamaki and Matsukawa are practically vibrating with loosely contained laughter. They both have their phones out, typing furiously, probably telling Kageyama and Oikawa that their future husband is being hit on by a dancer. 

“There actually is something you can do for me…”Iwaizumi says.

“Oh?” Onyx leans in closer to Iwaizumi, trying and succeeding in being as appealing as possible. 

The idiot duo leans in as well, eager to hear what Iwaizumi has to say. 

“I was wondering where you get your lingerie from? My fiances would look  good in something like that.”

Hanamaki and Matsukawa  _ howl  _ with laughter. 

 

Xx

 

At the end of the night Iwaizumi’s feeling good even though he’s had enough hard liquor to kill a horse. Not only did Onyx give Iwaizumi the name of the shop where he buys all of his costumes, he helped pick which lingerie sets to buy. 

“Oh man,” Matsukawa laughs “I still can’t believe you asked a stripper where to buy lingerie for your fiances. And that he agreed!”

“‘S not that weird,” Iwaizumi slurs. “Can’t help it. Jus’ think about them all the time. Whole time in that club couldn’t think of nothin’ but them. ‘Nd did you see what Onyx picked out for Tobio? He’s gonna be so cute….”

Matsukawa watches as Iwaizumi drifts off, face squished against the window. “You’re really in love aren’t you, Hajime?” Matsukawa smiles softly. 

Then he snaps a pic of Iwaizumi sleeping, mouth half open, and neck craned at an uncomfortable angle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a friend pointed out iwa's bday was coming up so i kicked my ass to hurry up and write it! hope u like it! tbh every dancer in the club iwa was imagining oiks or kags in their outfit he's so in love. we're almost at 20 chapters and i wanna say thanks to everyone who's been reading, commenting, and .....kudo-ing? y'all are all so sweet and i appreciate you sooooooooo much!!!!


	18. Wanna Do Everything For You Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a new stripper on the block and he's h o t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title comes from fei's fantasy which is gonna be my go to song when i become a stripper if my tuition gets any higher. also this chap has [ART](http://stellarsketches.tumblr.com/post/162448429284/im-legally-changing-my-name-to-iwaoikage-stripper)

“I'm back!~” Oikawa sing-songs, strutting his way into the dancer's changing room. A couple of other dancers are already getting ready, prepping their hair and makeup, and they all take a look over their shoulder to call back a happy greeting. 

Oikawa basks in the attention, before noticing that the owners of the club, Hanamaki and Matsukawa are both gathered at the end of the long vanity with a face Oikawa hasn’t seen before. 

Matsukawa looks up then, catching OIkawa’s eye.“Welcome back, Tooru! How was your trip to Tokyo?” 

“I made a killing!” Oikawa brags, striking a pose. “They absolutely  _ loved  _ me in Tokyo. You two are so lucky to have such a high-class dancer like me.”

Matsukawa nods dutifully, but the look on his face is anything but sincere. Hanamaki on the other hand can’t cut Oikawa slack even if it would kill him. 

“Oh? If they liked you so much maybe a club down there can take you permanently. It was so peaceful the week you were gone.”

“Are you implying I’m  _ loud _ ?” Oikawa growls, tilting his chin haughtily. 

“Loud. Dramatic. Ostentatious.” Hanamaki continues. Oikawa can feel a vein in his forehead twitch, and he’s  _ this  _ close to yelling and complaining when the newcomer seated at the vanity laughs quietly, muffling his chuckle with his fist. 

Oikawa finally focuses on this stranger; they’re in the dressing room but by no means does this kid have the presence or looks of a stripper.  He’s wearing sweats and an oversized hoodie. Admittedly he’s got a pretty enough face: high cheekbones and long dark eyelashes, but he can’t imagine this stoic looking kid giving a lapdance. 

“I see you’ve noticed our newest recruit,” Matsukawa says proudly, pulling the new kid closer with a hold on his shoulders, briefly nuzzling into the kid’s dark hair. “Say hi to Kageyama. Kageyama this is Oikawa, our resident diva.”

“Nice to meet you Oikawa-san,” Kageyama mumbles, and when they lock eyes Kageyama blushes, a subtle flush creeping across his cheeks. 

“Same here,” Oikawa replies, narrowing his eyes. “It’ll be fun working together from now on.”

And Oikawa doesn’t think he imagines the way Kageyama shivers in response. 

 

Xx

An hour and a half later, Oikawa has pushed all thoughts of the new kid out of his head, instead focusing on the loud pulsing bass of the music. The crowd goes a bit wild when Oikawa slides down the pole upside down, legs spread in a perfect splits. 

The attention of all these willing and ready men with thick wallets (and even thicker things in their pants) sends a thrill through Oikawa. He basks in the flashy lights of the stage, the glitter all over his skin catching and shimmering in  the neon pink light. The combination makes Oikawa even more alluring and he revels in it. 

A regular at the edge of the stage beckons Oikawa closer, eyes eager and hungry. Teasingly, OIkawa slides down to his hands and knees, crawling towards the regular, hips swaying seductively to the languid beat of the song. 

“I see someone missed me while I was gone,” Oikawa purrs. The regular smiles up at Oikawa reverently as he tucks a generous amount of bills into a strap of Oikawa’s red lingerie. 

“Missed you a lot. Should I book a private room to show you just how much?”

Oikawa shudders, considering the proposition, but then he looks past the regular to catch the eye of the one person he wanted to see the most. 

“I’ll think about it. Tip me a bit more and we’ll see.”

 

Xx

 

Unsurprisingly, Oikawa has a  _ lot  _ of regulars. Some married, some divorced, some single, but all of them willing to shower Oikawa in a healthy amount of money and attention. He’s met, fucked, and dated a handful of these regulars. Most were just chumps trying to get into his lacy lingerie, others were delusional fools, attempting to “tame” Oikawa and get him to quit the stripper life. 

There is one regular though, who stood out from the usual brand of no good guys. 

Iwaizumi initially stood out to Oikawa because from even across the packed floors of the club, Oikawa could tell he was fucking  _ ripped.  _ Strong enough to handle Oikawa in bed, and handsome enough to pique OIkawa’s interest. 

That original spark of attraction transformed into a  _ blaze  _ when Iwaizumi didn’t just drag Oikawa to a private room for a night when presented with the opportunity. Instead they took it slow, weeks of flirting and tension-filled dates. 

Oikawa’s thankful for Iwaizumi’s constant presence, the first guy he’s ever dated that didn’t mind he stripped for a paycheck, and there are certain…perks, special to their kind of relationship. 

After three or four songs, Oikawa saunters off stage into the crowd purposefully avoiding his treasured regular. Instead he slips into the laps of a couple of high-rollers, playing up the flirty act and getting big tips for his efforts. 

Just to tease, Oikawa grinds in one guy’s lap, giving them all a hint of what is full on lap dances are like. The crowd collectively loses it when Oikawa slides of the guys lap to bend down to scoop up some loose money, showing just how little his lace bodysuit covered. 

The whole time, OIkawa cuts his eyes back to Iwaizumi, making a show out of it. Iwaizumi watches him unabashedly, nursing a drink in one hand. There’s a glint in his green eyes that clearly say he’s enjoying the show. After all this is the first time they’ve seen each other since Hajime saw him off before his trip. 

“Hi there, handsome,” Oikawa coos, finally coming over to where Iwaizumi sits in a plush red chair. 

“Long time no see,” Iwaizumi smirks back. “How was Tokyo?” 

“It was  _ amazing,  _ Iwa-chan!” Oikawa throws himself into Iwaizumi’s lap, hands resting coyly on Iwaizumi’s broad shoulders. “You should come with me next time. 

“You, me, a hotel bed, and a suitcase full of that see-through lingerie, sounds nice.”

Heat coils deep in Oikawa’s gut, already excited at the prospect of sharing a hotel room with Iwaizumi for any stretch of time. There’s a dark look in his boyfriend’s eyes and Oikawa has to change the subject before he ditches the club, and all of the possible money made, in lieu of dragging Iwaizumi to one of their apartments. 

“We got a new dancer today,” Oikawa blurts out instead, pretending not to see the smug, and regrettably attractive smile that splits Iwaizumi’s face. 

“Oh? He any good?”

“Dunno. Never seen him dance before. Honestly, he doesn’t look like much, too standoffish you know? He’ll probably mess up his first set, honestly. Poor kid.”

“Are you sure you’re just afraid someone younger will come along and make you look bad?” Instantly Oikawa huffs, crossing his arms as he pokes out his bottom lip. 

“How rude, Iwa-chan. I’ll have you know no one can top me.”

Iwaizumi’s resultant grin can only be described as  _ shit-eating.  _ “Then what have I been doing to you for the last four months?”

The track playing suddenly changes to something a lot more upbeat, distracting Oikawa from the comeback poised on the tip of his tongue. The DJ announces the next dancer,  _ Sapphire,  _ and the new kid walks out on stage, his high heels clacking as he walks. 

Oikawa makes an appreciative noise because Kageyama cleans up well. The loose loungewear is gone, in its place is a virtually sheer top and a pair of shorts that leave very little to the imagine. The kid’s got nice long legs, and when Oikawa roams his eyes back up, he notices Kageyama’s wearing eyeliner and shimmery eyeshadow, sharpening his face into something feral. 

And then the music starts. It’s an American pop song, the name eludes Oikawa for a second so caught up in Kageyama’s fluid movements as he twirls himself around the pole. There’s no trace of that nervous kid in the dressing room. 

Confidence oozes out of every pore as Kageyama teases glimpses of his stomach muscles as he lifts his shirt briefly. At one point Kageyama looks over in Oikawa’s direction, biting his lip as he bends over then drops into a split.  Oikawa can’t look away and for the next two songs, the brunette is mesmerized, turned on, and a little bit infuriated at how good Kageyama is. And he isn’t the only one if the looks he’s getting from the crowd is any indication. 

After what feels like an eternity, Kageyama’s set ends. A few men try to beckon him off stage to talk to him, but Kageyama barely pays them any attention, instead he scoops up a few bills he missed while performing then shuffles off into the back. 

“I guess he proved you wrong,” Iwaizumi mumbles, and for once Oikawa can’t argue with him. 

 

Xx

 

That first night sets off a competition. Well, Oikawa’s sure he’s the only one competing; Kageyama doesn’t rise to the bait when Oikawa brags about his tip amount. If anything he praises Oikawa’s skills, trailing behind him and asking for pointers. 

It’s a one way competition but Oikawa is dead set on winning. Oddly enough, his tips don’t decrease with Kageyama’s presence they  _ increase.  _ The appearance of another dancer of equal talent has brought in even more customers, not to mention Oikawa’s competitive drive pushes him to do better and better shows. 

There is a problem. Well, two of them actually. 

“I swear on my favorite thong that the next time someone asks for me and Kageyama for a threesome I’m gonna drop kick them into the next dimension.” 

Oikawa’s complaining  _ again,  _ mid lap dance with Iwaizumi.  

“That isn’t too bad of an idea,” Iwaizumi mumbles, chuckling when Oikawa shoots him and cold look. “What’s so bad about it? He’s cute enough, and he obviously admires you for...whatever reason. 

“First of all,  _ Iwa-chan,  _ I am full of admirable qualities.” Here Oikawa slip out of Iwaizumi’s lap, to stand in front of where he sits, crossing his arms and frowning. “And the problem is that kid is trying to steal all of my tips. And my special move!”

“Special move?”

“You know what I mean! That’s the move that got you into my bed for the very first time. Do you know how hard it is to hold your weight upside down on a pole? That’s my trademark! He can’t take it!”

“You’re cute when you’re jealous,” Iwaizumi giggles. 

“I’m not jealous at all,” Oikawa pouts, cheeks puffed out childishly. Right out on cue, Kageyama walks on stage, and instantly all the patrons in the room perk up, cheering and wolf-whistling. Oikawa makes a grumbling noise in his throat, and Iwaizumi, the bastard, laughs at him. 

“You know he’s watching you, right?” Iwaizumi says suddenly. 

“What?”

“Kageyama. When he dances. And when you’re dancing, he looks at you like he  _ really  _ wouldn’t mind that threesome.”

Oikawa rolls his eyes, “Will you let that threesome thing go?”

“Will you admit that you want one?”

“I hate you,” Oikawa growls, “I really really hate you.”

A sudden smug look spreads across Iwaizumi’s face. And when Oikawa raises a questionable brow at him Iwaizumi drawls “You didn’t deny you wanted one.”

Instead of bothering to respond, Oikawa turns his attention back to the stage. Kageyama’s looking directly at him, eyes hazy and face flushed as he runs his hands over his thighs seductively. Oikawa hasn’t been oblivious to the looks he’s been getting, and more than once Oikawa has been close to dragging Kageyama to a back room to have his filthy way with him. 

But he resists because he doesn’t care how hot Kageyama is, or how plush his lips are, or how flexible he is, Oikawa is  _ not  _ gonna be seduced by the new kid. Not at all. 

So caught up in his thoughts Oikawa doesn’t notice Kageyama’s set ending, nor does he notice Iwaizumi beckoning the other over. It isn’t until the dark-haired stripper his standing in front of them, when Oikawa begins to realize something is about to happen. 

“I have a proposition for you,” Iwaizumi says immediately, not bothering to beat around the bush. “You want to sleep with Oikawa don’t you.”

Oikawa nearly topples out of Iwaizumi’s lap. And it doesn’t help when Kageyama glances at him, embarrassed, before nodding yes. 

“That’s good to know,” Iwaizumi continues, self-satisfaction practically dripping from here. “Well this idiot here wants to fuck you too, but he’s too stubborn to admit it. And I wouldn’t mind being the third party to this threesome. If you accept my proposition, of course.”

Both strippers are dumbstruck, jaws on the floor, but neither one of them opposes. 

“What do you want me to do?” Kageyama asks, face red. 

“I want you two to perform together. Right now,” Iwaizumi beams. 

And Oikawa doesn’t miss a beat, he yanks Kageyama by the arm, marching with determined steps to the stage. 

 

Xx

 

The DJ puts on a classic dance song that starts off slow and quiet. Oikawa can barely hear the music, or the excited noises of the crowd as they all start to realize exactly what’s about to happen. All Oikawa can focus on is the way Kageyama licks his lips, the action tantalizing up close, and Iwaizumi’s burning gaze from where he sits still. 

They move in tandem, legs interlocked as they simultaneously rotate around the pole. Oikawa hasn’t danced with someone else in ages, but they run on instinct and Kageyama’s quick to pick up on signals. He boldly pulls Oikawa closer, making to kiss him and the crowd goes a little wild. 

As the beat of the song picks up, they up the intensity. Impromptu as it is, the routine is beautiful in its seduction. They both become a blur of lean legs, and glitter, and dark hungry eyes. Hands are roaming, Oikawa sliding a hand up Kageyama’s thigh to his hip, as Kageyama fists and hand in Oikawa’s hair. 

Iwaizmumi is very proud of himself for this idea. 

After what felt like forever and no time at all, the song ends, and Oikawa’s half hard in his lingerie. What makes matters worse is the heated, pleading look Kageyama shoots up at him through his lashes, and Oikawa’s resolve to  _ not  _ fuck him crumbles. 

He jerks his head towards his and Iwaizumi frequently used private rooms, before grabbing Kageyama’s hand and towing him in that direction, both of them nearly forgetting to pick up their tips. 

It’s merely nanoseconds after the private room door’s locked, when Kageyama’s pulling Oikawa into a long awaited kiss. Oikawa takes over immediately, pushing Kageyama against the wall. Iwaizumi comes up behind him. 

They’re a tangle of groping hands and devious mouths. Oikawa wants to do everything, lock the other two in here until he’s satisfied himself, but now’s not the right place. 

As if Iwaizumi’s reading his mind, he pulls back suddenly to fall into one of the patent leather chairs in the room. He pulls Oikawa with him so that the brunette is sitting between his legs. 

“We’ll start with something simple.” Iwaizumi commands. He looks up to make eye contact with Kageyama as he frees Oikawa’s cock from the flimsy confines of his underwear. Oikawa’s hard already, and within a few firm strokes of his hand, Iwaizumi has Oikawa dripping. 

Kageyama watches, eyes glazed over and his own totally immodest lingerie does nothing to hide his arousal. 

“Tobio-chan, come here,” Oikawa groans, and he’s immensely pleased when Kageyama comes to stand in front of them, then drops to his knees without hesitation.  Iwaizumi holds out his hand and slips two precome slicked fingers into Kageyama’s mouth. 

The groan Kageyama makes in response, as he licks Iwaizumi’s fingers makes it clear what he wants. 

“Do you want this?” Iwaizumi queries, removing his fingers from the younger’s mouth with a wet  _ pop.  _

Kageyama nods frantically, too aroused to talk and then Iwaizumi’s hand his in his hair, guiding his mouth to Oikawa’s cock. 

“Fuck your mouth feels good,” Oikawa’s toes curl, heat shooting through his veins. Plush lips wrap around his shaft, and with every bob of his head, Kageyama drags his tongue along the slit. Oikawa has to ground himself with a hand in Iwaizumi’s soft hair, for fear that he might cum too soon. 

For a moment, Iwaizumi enjoys the view, Oikawa’s writhing form in his lap, nipples hard and visible through his sheer shirt, and Kageyama on his knees, eyes hazy and chin wet from the messy blowjob. But watching isn’t quite enough. Iwaizumi moves his leg so that he can grind his shin into the bulge in Kageyama’s lacy underwear. 

The reaction is instantaneous. Kageyama groans around Oikawa’s cock, and starts to roll his hips down onto Iwaizumi’s leg. 

Everything gets more frantic then, Kageyama takes all that he can, and then some, of Oikawa into his mouth. He’s intent on making Oikawa burst in his mouth, and it’s working. Oikawa now has his head thrown back on Iwaizumi’s shoulder, unable to keep his eyes open as Iwaizumi stimulates him further by pinching and pulling at his nipples. 

Iwaizumi moans lowly in Oikawa’s ear as his ass grinds onto Iwaizumi’s still clothed hard-on, and it’s the sensation of Iwaizami sensually licking the shell of Oikawa’s ear that finally pushes him over the edge. 

Without hesitation, Kageyama swallows every drop of cum as he lets Oikawa slip from his mouth. 

“Such a good boy,” Oikawa praises, running a hand through Kageyama’s hair then yanks at a fistful. Kageyama whines pitifully, grinding his hips harder and faster on Iwaizumi’s leg. HIs face gets redder and redder, until he finally stiffens, back arched as his orgasm takes over him. 

Oikawa takes in the satisfied look on Kageyama’s face with a smirk. He then turns around in Iwaizumi’s lap to kiss his boyfriend deeply. 

“This was a good idea,” he says when they part, and Iwaizumi smiles, pleased. Oikawa turns back to Kageyama, pulling him up by his arms “Now. You’re coming with us for the night because this isn’t over before me and Iwa-chan here fucked you until you can barely walk.”

Kageyama looks from Iwaizumi and Oikawa, and he bites his lip coyly “So who’s apartment are we crashing in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter and the [art found here](http://stellarsketches.tumblr.com/post/162448429284/im-legally-changing-my-name-to-iwaoikage-stripper) that goes with it is dedicated to my iwaoikage co-conspirator. you know who u are. congrats that your semester is over!!!! nd i appreciate you a lot friend!!!!!
> 
> also to all the ppl requesting a striptease from the last chapter i hope this satisfies your craving. i love the aesthetic of stripper au tbh. just think of mesh and lace and pink lights everywhere. oooh next chapter is more smut (can u believe it?) and i hope ya'll'll like it!


	19. Home Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iwaizumi and kageyama turn oikawa's sex tape fantasy into a reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday oikawa!!!!! my trash son deserves a chapter abt him too

Oikawa come home from class to find a surprise waiting for him. At least he thinks he’s coming from class, he doesn’t remember being in a classroom or even the train ride home. He feels floaty, like he’s not all there, but the moment he steps into the apartment he shares with his boyfriends, how he got there is the last thing on his mind. 

Instead of the door opening to the living room like it should, Oikawa finds himself in the bedroom, where Iwaizumi and Kageyama both are sprawled on the bed. Completely naked.  That’s not what captures Oikawa’s attention though. It’s the very familiar black camera, lying on the bed between the two dark-haired men, already on and ready for use. 

“Uh...what?” Oikawa croaks eloquently. And in response Kageyama smiles, slides his hand down to cup Iwaizumi’s ass.  _ Oh my god.  _

With a jerk of his head, Iwaizumi beckons Oikawa over, who steps closer almost in a daze. He crawls onto the bed with his two boyfriends. He doesn’t quite understand what’s going on or  _ why,  _ but he doesn’t care. 

“We’re gonna make a home movie,” Kageyama giggles, and that cannot mean what Oikawa thinks. 

Almost in a daze, Oikawa leans forward, pressing sloppy, messy kisses to first Kageyama’s lips then Iwaizumi’s. The latter hooks his fingers in Oikawa’s jacket pulling him off balance. It takes little effort at all to get Oikawa on his back. 

Kageyama presses himself tight against Oikawa’s side, lavishing quick kisses and bites along Oikawa’s ear. Iwaizumi looms over them, camera in hand. Heat coils through Oikawa’s body when he hears the telltale sound of the camera’s video function switching on. 

“We’re making  _ that  _ kind of movie,” Iwaizumi grins, and Oikawa’s mouth goes dry. Deftly, Kageyama undoes the button on Oikawa’s jeans to take his cock firmly in hand. He strokes Oikawa slow, twisting his wrist just so and making sure Oikawa feels all of it. “You look so good,” Iwaizumi praises. 

Oikawa wants to say something, anything, instead of lie there and be overwhelmed, but all speech evades him when Iwaizumi hands to camera over to Kageyama to take hold of the brunette’s hip and taking Oikawa’s cock in his mouth. 

Iwaizumi’s mouth is warm and the suction’s perfect, and Oikawa’s shaking and gasping, and next thing he knows he’s waking up. 

 

Xx

For a moment, Oikawa blinks up at the ceiling, rock-hard in his pajamas, and very very sweaty. Thankfully, there are no witnesses to his current embarrassment. He can hear the shower running in their attached bathroom, it’s Iwaizumi showering presumably after his morning workout. 

Kageyama is, as usual, knocked out. Mouth open, and dark hair mussed from sleep. Oikawa breathes a sigh of relief and wills his erection to calm down. He rolls over, looking over Kageyama’s sun-freckled shoulder to their dresser where the reason for his wet dream sits innocently, as if it didn’t just ruin Oikawa’s life. 

 

Xx

 

It’s a few days after the wet dream and Oikawa is still haunted, tormented even by thoughts of fucking his boyfriends on camera. It would help if the camera wasn’t  _ everywhere.  _ Every date and outing, it’s  _ there.  _ Taunting Oikawa relentlessly. 

The camera, a sleek, expensive Nikon brand, was a gift from Kageyama’s mother. The quality of the images and videos were ridiculous, and though all three of them are far from photography experts, they could all appreciate the quality. 

And leave it to Oikawa to what to take that quality elsewhere. 

“Oooh, Oikawa-san look at that!” Kageyama bounces on his toes, startling Oikawa out of his thoughts. 

“You act like you’ve never been on a ferry before,” Oikawa laughs, but does as he’s commanded to watch a heron skim across the water, and nab a fish. They’re having one of their weekly dates, and old-man Iwaizumi suggested they take a ferry ride out to the countryside. 

Oikawa would be more relaxed if that damn camera weren’t there. Iwaizumi’s with it now, taking a candid photo of Kageyama and Oikawa looking out onto the river. He could easily be recording something else. 

He really needs to get his head out of the gutter. 

“Tooru.” Iwaizumi says suddenly, not looking away from where he fiddles with the camera’s setting. He’s got that tone of voice that means he’s about to call Oikawa out. “You’ve been fidgeting nonstop for three days. What is your problem?”

Instantly, Oikawa flushes bright red, and Iwaizumi finally looks up at him, taking in the uncharacteristic embarrassment on his boyfriend’s face with a raised eyebrow. 

“Fidgeting? Me? I think you’ve got it wrong, Iwa-chan! Maybe you’re just feeling guilty about eating my last slice of chocolate cake!” Oikawa hopes desperately that they’ll take the bait. 

Kageyama narrows his eyes at him, “Actually,  _ you  _ ate the last piece of cake. Then you got mad because you said it was too many calories.”

Shyly, Oikawa toes the ground and mumbles.  “I want to film a sex tape.”

“Eh?”

“You’re normally such a loud mouth,” “Iwaizumi grumbles, “Why’re you so quiet now?”

“I WANT TO MAKE A SEX TAPE!” Oikawa blurts out, then immediately slapping a hand over his mouth. Kageyama blushes so hard he has to hold on to the railing to keep his balance. Iwaizumi’s only keeping it together minutely better, he can’t look at them. 

After a moment of embarrassed silence, Kageyama clears his throat, “H-how did……,” he gestures vaguely to the camera “ _ this  _ happen?”

Oikawa doesn’t want to expose himself further, but he’s come this far might as well come completely clean. “I….had a dream the other day…….”

“About us?” Iwaizumi sounds shocked. 

“Of course about you two! Who else am I dating?” Oikawa pouts. “But you two were so  _ hot,  _ and you seduced me on camera, and--and it’s been haunting me, okay?”

“Whatever you say,” Iwaizumi mutters, cheeks a bit flushed. “Just...just stop freaking out about it.”

 

Xx

 

Two weeks pass and Oikawa manages to bury the whole incident under both his pride and a mountain of homework. Sure he still had some fleeting…..and intense nightly fantasies that involved a pair of handcuffs and the camera, but nothing serious. 

Which is why Oikawa is very surprised when he arrives home one night to find the whole apartment dark save for the light in their bedroom. Suspiciously, Oikawa shrugs off his jacket in the living room, tossing his bag on the sofa carelessly as well. 

He pushes their bedroom door open and what greets him nearly breaks his brain. Iwaizumi, clad in nothing but the tightest, pair of briefs he owns, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. While Kageyama is wearing one of Oikawa’s dress shirts, possibly with nothing else on. 

They’re both grinning, and when Oikawa tears his eyes away from the outline of Iwaizumi’s cock through his boxers to the camera propped up on the pillows between them. 

“This any better than your dream?” Iwaizumi asks cheekily.

Oikawa can’t do anything but nod mutely, much to the amusement of the other two. Oikawa continues to stand in the doorway like an idiot, as Iwaizumi slides forward to sit on the edge of the bed and Kageyama picks up the camera, training it on Oikawa. 

“What’re you waitin’ for, Tooru-kun?” Kageyama giggles, “C’mon over and suck Hajime off.” 

If Oikawa weren’t hard already, that would do the trick. He stumbles forward, wasting no time in dropping to his knees. A heady wave of pheromones roll over Oikawa, he can’t stop himself from peeling off Iwaizumi’s underwear and deepthroating him immediately. 

A hand reaches down to run fingers through Oikawa’s hair, and another comes to touch at his lips, already red and sticky, stretched wide around Iwaizumi’s dick. He glances up to find Kageyama watching over Iwaizumi’s shoulder camera trained on Oikawa’s face. 

The attention makes Oikawa shudder, he can’t help but to suck harder, bobbing his head, and moaning because  _ shit  _ this is way better than his wet dream. 

“You look so good right now, Tooru,” Kageyama coos, “Think you can make Hajime cum with just your tongue?”

“Mhmmm,” Oikawa groans, swirling his tongue around the slit of Iwaizumi’s dick, teasing Iwaizumi with his barbell tongue piercing. 

“Such a good boy,” Iwaizumi praises, fucking up into Oikawa’s mouth, thighs tense. “Now look up for the camera while I cum in your mouth.”

Without hesitation, Oikawa looks up, looking directly into the camera as Iwaizumi lets himself go, filling Oikawa’s mouth with cum. Before Oikawa can swallow, Kageyama’s on him, kissing him hard with lots of tongue. 

“Want me to fuck you now, Tobio-chan?” Oikawa asks rhetorically, already pulling the younger up to throw him on the bed. Iwaizumi takes hold of the camera, catching every moment of Oikawa sensually popping open the buttons of Kageyama’s dress shirt. 

The brunette kisses his way down Kageyama’s body, biting occasionally, hard enough to make Kageyama squirm underneath Oikawa. His squirming only gets worse when Oikawa begins to lavish attention on the sensitive nubs on Kageyama’s chest. 

He circles the nipples with his tongue before biting down, alternating which nipple to torment over and over until they’re flushed a dark red in oversensitivity. 

“Please, just fuck me already,” Kageyama begs, hands scrabbling over Oikawa’s body, wanting to get his fingers, his dick,  _ anything  _ inside him already.  Oikawa grabs the oh so conveniently placed bottle of lube and is about to slick up his fingers when Iwaizumi stops him. 

“How about you stretch yourself for the camera, Tobio?” Oikawa’s dick throbs at the thought of that. Kageyama fucking himself on his own fingers, forever taped for later viewing pleasure is probably the best idea Iwaizumi’s ever had. 

Kageyama blushes hard, body giving away just how much that idea suits him. He takes the lube from Oikawa with shaking hands, laying back to spread his legs for his incredibly attentive boyfriends. 

“You look so pretty down there babe,” Oikawa coos. 

“He does,” Iwaizumi agrees, “He’s even twitching. You that eager to be on camera?” Kageyama doesn’t answer, can’t answer, instead he circles his entrance with one slicked up finger. He slides one finger into himself up to the second knuckle, then immediately slides in other. 

It doesn’t take long for the burn of the stretch to subside, so Kageyama starts to fuck himself a little faster, and a little deeper. He can’t help but to thrash and moan when his fingers brush his prostate, putting on one hell of a show. 

Without thinking, Kageyama wraps his free hand around his neglected cock, stroking himself with the same near frantic rhythm as his other hand. Oikawa lets the younger have a moment of double stimulation before forcing the hand around his dripping cock to still. 

“I don’t recall either one of us giving you permission to touch yourself here, Tobio-chan.” A submissive thrill goes through Kageyama. He slides another finger into himself, toes curling at the sensation, just as he releases his cock to shove those precum covered fingers in his mouth. 

Oikawa really might cum in pants. One glance at Iwaizumi let’s him know that in no time, he’ll be ready for round two, so Oikawa grabs Kageyama by the hips, pulling the younger into his lap. 

Kageyama adjusts easily, using Oikawa’s broad shoulders as leverage. Oikawa takes hold of his own cock with one hand, and Kageyama’s hip with the other, guiding him on his dick. Moaning wantonly, Kageyama grinds down, more and more of Oikawa’s cock sinking into him until he’s at the base. 

Before either of the two can set a rhythm, Iwaizumi stops them. “I think we need something special,” the wicked lilt of his voice, sending shivers down Kageyama’s spine. Iwaizumi settles behind the youngest, their newly purchased cock ring in hand. 

“Let’s spice things up,” Iwaizumi purrs, slipping the cock ring on.                    

“You have the best ideas, Iwa-chan,” and Oikawa kisses him, squishing Kageyama between them. Kageyama doesn’t let himself stay neglected for long, he makes a needy noise, drawing Oikawa’s attention back to him. “Yeah, yeah I’ll fuck you,” Oikawa says, getting a firm hold on Kageyama’s hips and thrusting up. 

Immediately, Kageyama throws his head back, holding on for dear life as Oikawa pulls Kageyama’s ass down as he thrusts his hips up. Even if they weren’t recording every second, Oikawa doesn’t think he’d ever forget the sound of their hips meeting mingling with Kageyama’s moans and Iwaizumi’s running commentary on how good Kageyama looks being fucked.  

And when Iwaizumi isn’t whispering positively filthy things in their ears, he’s telling Oikawa how to fuck Kageyama better, telling him where to touch and how hard to thrust until Kageyama’s a shaking, whimpering mess, begging to come. 

Oikawa’s been on edge since he opened the door, and it doesn’t take much more before he’s pulling Kageyama down to cum into him with a moan. 

Iwaizumi hands the camera over to Oikawa with a flourish. Then he lifts Kageyama off of the bed to press his back against the wall, Iwaizumi holding him up by the thighs. 

“You ready?” Iwaizumi asks, receiving an eager nod. With a grin, he slides his cock into Kageyama, resistance minimal thanks to Oikawa’s cum. Iwaizumi starts a brutal rhythm, purposefully hitting Kageyama’s prostate dead on with every thrust. 

Deep in the throes of ecstasy, Kageyama rakes his nails down Iwaizumi’s back, desperate to find any kind of purchase to keep himself afloat in the sea of pleasure. As he looks over Iwaizumi’s shoulder Kageyama finds Oikawa there, him and the camera focused intently on them. 

“I-i can’t. Hajime  _ please  _ let me cum,” Kageyama groans, his legs are shaking, and the sensation of not being able to cum when he’s right on the edge is driving him crazy. 

“What was that, Tobio? You want more?”

“T-that’s not--”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what I heard him say, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa interrupts, evil grin wide and blindly. 

Suddenly, Iwaizumi pulls out to manhandle Kageyama face down on the bed. He holds Kageyama’s wriggling form still with one hand pressing down on the middle of his back, as he slides back in. In this position Kageyama’s cock is pressed into the bedding, the friction doing awful things to his already shaky resolve. 

Oikawa aims the camera at Iwaizumi as he leans over Kageyama, biting every inch of skin he can reach. The overall image is incredibly enticing and Oikawa could die in this moment, he’s so happy. 

By now Kageyama’s dissolved into the bedding, the only part of him upright is his ass, only kept in position by the hold Iwaizumi has on his hips. The sensation of being suspended on the brink of an orgasm for so long, overwhelms him, his eyes roll back as he bites his own fingers hard enough to draw blood.

For once, Oikawa takes pity on his boyfriend. He reaches underneath Kageyama to tug off the cock ring as gently as possible. Kageyama whimpers in relief and all it takes is two more expert thrusts of Iwaizumi’s hips to push Kageyama over the edge. 

Iwaizumi follows suit shortly, adding to their combined mess of sweat and cum with a noise Oikawa is very happy to have on tape. 

 

Xx

 

They bring a half-asleep Kageyama to the shower so they can all wash off together. It’s oddly peaceful and domestic, especially compared to what just transpired. After the shower and stripping the sticky comforter off the bed, the three of them tumble into bed. 

Eagerly, Oikawa picks up the camera and skips through their new home movie. 

“What is good enough for you?” Iwaizumi queries, looking very pleased with himself. 

Oikawa marvels at the myriad of pleasured expressions and noises the camera captured in high definition. Oikawa has to bite his lip to stave off another erection. “We should make a sequel. Or eight.”         

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt think id be able to post on time, literally everything got in the way this week including my own procrastination skills. oh yeah? we hit 500 kudos???? thank u so much! i love everyone who took the time to read any one of these weird lil chapters i write. so for once....the next chapter is not smut lmao. and its the triumphant return of bad boy au! i almost forgot abt the sketches i drew for this. you can reblog them [here](http://stellarsketches.tumblr.com/post/163145238772/s-e-x-t-a-p-e)much like oikawa i was haunted by visions of a sex tape lol.  
> and for my non tumblr peeps here they are:
> 
>  
> 
>   
>   
> 


	20. The Car Isn't Stolen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the kids skip class and as expected....it is a wild ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iwaizumi's the best bf in the whole world and tobio the kitten makes his triumphant return

What wakes Oikawa the day before winter break is not the sun gently streaming into his room, or the feeling of Iwaizumi moving in bed next to him. No, Oikawa wakes up to a car in his driveway honking up a storm.

He rolls out of bed and tumbles onto the floor with an unholy noise. OIkawa doesn’t even have to look out of his living room window to know that it’s Iwaizumi. Last time he checked, maybe eight hours ago Iwaizumi didn’t even have a car, but Oikawa knows deep down in his bones that the only person crazy enough to make all this noise at 8 in the morning is Iwaizumi Hajime with some stupid scheme.

And because Oikawa has known Iwaizumi since grade school and knows that if he tries to ignore the honking it won’t do any good, he accepts his fate, gets dressed and steps outside.

“Good morning,” Iwaizumi says behind the wheel of an older model NIssan with a smile on his face as if he just didn’t spend twenty minutes being a neighborhood nuisance.

“What are you up to at _eight in the morning?”_ Oikawa growls, although he’s already climbing into the car.

“Giving you the best start to your winter vacation.” At Oikawa’s unmoved look Iwaizumi passes him a couple of papers with a smirk. Upon closer inspection Oikawa realizes that they’re tickets. _Concert tickets._ Concert tickets that have been sold out for weeks.

For once in his life Oikawa doesn’t know what to say; he just stares at Iwaizumi gratefully, who turns away in mild embarrassment. “Don’t look at me like that idiot.”

“I can’t help it! This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me!” Oikawa continues to beam openly and sincerely  at Iwaizumi who flushes at the attention.

To hide his embarrassment Iwaizumi turns away from his boyfriend to grip at the steering wheel. “You don’t hafta make such a big deal about it. Getting the tickets was pretty easy.”

“You’re a really good boyfriend, Hajime,” the praise, combined with the sound of his first name makes Iwaizumi flush harder. He’s about to make up some excuse to get on the road and back to conversations that don’t make his insides flutter like a scene in a romance manga, when Iwaizumi’s startled by the sound of a camera shutter.

Slowly, as if he doesn’t _really_ want to know, Iwaizumi turns to find Oikawa holding up his phone and laughing in the way that clearly spells _trouble._ “....What are you doing now, Shittykawa?”

“Taking pictures for my new Instagram account!” Oikawa flips the phone around to show Iwaizumi a picture of him flush faced at the wheel of the car.

 

“‘S cute right? I made my account last night and already over three hundred people follow me!”

Oikawa taps at his phone a few times to show Iwaizumi his follower list, scrolling through with a smug smile. Iwaizumi, even as a social media novice, can understand it’s a lot of followers in such a short about of time, but what he can’t understand is why so many people would willingly follow a literal menace to society like Oikawa and he says as such.

“Me? A menace?” Oikawa parrots, free hand pressed to his chest in faux shock. “I’ll have you know Iwa-chan I post fantastic content.”

“Whatever you say,” Iwaizumi shifts the car into drive ready to get this show on the road.

“Now how should I caption this pic of you? I can’t decide between ‘Look the brute knows how to drive’ or ‘My uber’s here, Isn’t he handsome?’”

“I am _not_ your--hey ASSHOLE DON’T POST THAT PICTURE!”

“TOO LATE!”

In retaliation, Iwaizumi stops suddenly at the first stop sign, purposefully jerking Oikawa around so that his forehead nearly smacks against the dashboard.

 

Xx

Reason #33 why Oikawa suspects Iwaizumi likes Kageyama more than him: When they arrive at Kageyama’s house instead of honking the car horn like a maniac, Iwaizumi parks the car and _gets out_ to knock on the door.

“I hate you,” Oikawa deadpans, staring holes at the side of Iwaizumi’s head, who just bats his eyelashes at him innocently. “One of these days me and Tobio are gonna divorce you.”

“Uhn-huh,” Iwaizumi hums non-committedly, already stepping up on the Kageyamas porch to grab the ornate (and vaguely tacky) door knocker.

Oikawa’s content to sit back and sulk until their ray of sunshine boyfriend answers the door, but suddenly he gets a great idea. “Iwa-chan, wait!” he grabs a hold of the arm Iwaizumi has poised ready to knock. “How about….instead of knocking we take the spare key and give Tobio a double surprise!?”

Iwaizumi gives him a long-suffering look, “That’s breaking and entering.”

“Since when have you cared about the law?”

“Skipping class is in no way equivalent to breaking and entering.”

“This is a good idea! And it’s not _technically_ a crime. We’re _dating_ Tobio, he’d never call the cops on us!” Oikawa pleads, as Iwaizumi continues to stand firm, arms crossed. “You’re trying to ruin my fun!”

“How are you the excited one?” Iwaizumi huffs, “ Last time I checked you didn’t even buy the tickets.”

“That’s just our dynamic, Iwa-chan. I’m the personality, the charisma. You provide all the money--you’re basically our sugar daddy and--” Oikawa cuts himself off when the front door opens just a crack revealing a sliver of Kageyama’s face.

“What’re you two doing here?” Kageyama says, eyes narrowed in suspicion, blatantly refusing to open the door fully for them.

“We can’t drop by and see our lovely boyfriend?” Oikawa quips.

Kageyama raises an eyebrow, looking uncharacteristically defiant, Iwaizumi is both proud and terrified, “You can. But we have school in two hours.”

“Not going,” Iwaizumi grins, “You aren’t either.”

“What? I-I’ve never skipped class before.”

“Oh, you’re gonna want to sit down before you hear our good news, Tobio-chan,” Oikawa attempts to smoothly bully his way inside, but Kageyama refuses to be moved. Instead he shoots wary glances first at Iwaizumi’s openly happy face, then at Oikawa’s toothy grin.

All the signs are falling into place. “You’re not plotting to handcuff me to the bed so I can’t go to class, are you?” Kageyama asks.

Iwaizumi’s smile turns into something that borderlines on predatory as he pauses in the doorway, “...That _wasn’t_ the plan, but now that we know you’re into that kinda thing, Tobio, we can make that happen.”

Next to him, Oikawa’s radiating such an intense, _inappropriate_ energy, that the hair on the back of Kageyama’s neck begins to stick up.

“So,” Kageyama says slowly, cautiously.  He’s in a precarious situation, one more inadvertently provocative statement and his family’s gonna come home and get more than just one eyeful of his private life. “What _is_ the surprise?”

Iwaizumi has to physically shake himself to get back on track, but with a flourish pulls the folded tickets out of his back pocket for Kageyama to take.

The resultant silence is, frankly, heavy. Oikawa bounces on his toes in barely contained excitement, while Iwaizumi is a just a jumble of nerves . He’s watching the product of two months worth of part-time work unfold in real time right before his eyes.

Kageyama reads, and rereads the papers in his hands as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing.  Right before his eyes are tickets. Tickets for the concert Kageyama contemplated selling a kidney to pay for. More than once.

The moment everything sinks in he looks up at Oikawa and Iwaizumi, eyes wide and searching. “How did you…?”

“It was all Iwa-chan!” Oikawa brags, hooking an arm around Iwaizumi’s shoulders, “He broke his back for months to save up for the tickets! All in secret too!”

“Don’t make it sound like such a big deal, idiot,” Iwaizumi scolds, embarrassed from the attention. “Just wanted to do somethin’ special I guess--stop looking at me like that!”

“I can’t help it, Iwaizumi-san! This is so nice!” Kageyama wails, flinging the door wide open to throw himself at the other two.

Iwaizumi catches him dutifully, pleased to have kisses rained down on his cheeks, until he wraps an arm around Kageyama’s waist on instinct to find that the other isn’t wearing any pants.

“What the hell!” Oikawa screeches, frantically tugging the hem of Kageyama’s shirt. “Tobio, where the hell are your pants?”

Kageyama looks down at his attire. He’s clad in nothing but an old, oversized t-shirt that reaches just millimeters past his underwear, “But I can’t sleep in pants.” Kageyama pouts, completely missing the reason of Oikawa’s frustration.

The obliviousness, though completely Kageyama--and completely adorable--only bothers Oikawa further. With firm hands he steers Kageyama inside, “I don’t care how you sleep, these thighs belong to us. No one else can look at them.

“You do realize my teammates see me half-naked all the time in the locker room?” Kageyama states blandly, still a bit confused, but allows Oikawa to drag him inside.

“Don’t remind me.” But Oikawa’s petulant frown fades quickly when there’s a purring bundle of fur winding between his legs and begging for attention.

Iwaizumi, the main culprit of spoiling Tobio (both kitten and human versions), closes the door behind them before lifting the cat up and cradling him to his chest. It’s all disgustingly domestic, and Kageyama watches them fondly.

“How long do I have to get ready, again?” Kageyama asks excitement written all over his face. It’s so _cute._ And for a moment Iwaizumi forgets he’s supposed to be answering the question.

“Long as we’re on the road by 12 we’re good.”

“Y’know, Tobio,” Oikawa starts with a salacious grin, “That means we have plenty enough time to have some fun in the shower before you get dressed.”

Kageyama pauses. Thinking. Considering.

“Nope!” he chirps, taking off to run upstairs to his room. As a consolation prize maybe he strips off his shirt to throw below. Oikawa only gets a glimpse of Kageyama’s bare figure before the offending shirt is hitting him in the face.

“You tease!” Oikawa laments, loud enough for Kageyama to hear.

“Go feed the cat!” Kageyama calls down.

 

Xx

 

While Kageyama’s in the shower, Iwaizumi feeds Tobio, throws some of Kageyama’s clothes into the dryer, then plays Candy Crush on his phone, stretched out comfortably in Kageyama’s bed.

Oikawa, on the other hand, mopes around for a bit at being denied, then parks himself in front of the full body mirror Kageyama has propped up against the wall to fix his hair and face. About twenty minutes later the owner of the room finally steps out of the attached bathroom, a wave of hot air following him.

Briefly, Iwaizumi glances up from level 155  to do a double, then a triple take. With a casual ease most could only dream of having, Kageyama saunters over to his closet, a fuzzy towel wrapped around his waist the only thing protecting his modesty.

Iwaizumi gapes, and when he glances at Oikawa, the brunette’s watching too. Still holding his eyeliner, brush dangerously close to making a mess everywhere. Oikawa stares unabashedly as Kageyama drops his towel to rummage through his clothes.

“He _has_ to be doing this on purpose,” Oikawa whispers startling Iwaizumi; he hadn’t even heard the other abandon his spot at the mirror to settle in the bed.

“I dunno…” Iwaizumi glances back at Kageyama who _still_ hasn’t turned around in favor of shimmying into his underwear, “I genuinely think he doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

Oikawa grumbles lowly to himself eyes following the lines of Kageyama’s body as he tugs on a long sleeved shirt. Iwaizumi’s not pleased by the added clothing, but watching the jiggle of Kageyama’s ass as he tugs on his jeans is just as appealing.  

The sudden, but by now somewhat familiar, sound of a picture being taken jerks Iwaizumi out of his ass induced trace. When Iwaizumi manages to pry his eyes from the view, Oikawa’s furiously taking pictures, one right after another, not subtle _at all._

_ _

Kageyama _finally_ turns around, throwing them a quizzical glance over his shoulder. His confusion is almost palpable and Iwaizumi wants to _scream._ God help them the day Kageyama Tobio realizes the extent of his towers.

It’s possible the day’s come faster than Iwaizumi’d expected because Kageyama’s lips tilt upwards in a teasing, almost sultry, smirk.

He knows _exactly_ what he’s doing.

“You really are a tease,” Iwaizumi whines. Maybe they _have_ been a bad influence on Tobio. He yanks Kageyama forward by his arm so that the younger tumbles into bed with them.

“But you like it,” Kageyama grins, before dissolving into laughter as Oikawa’s hands creep under his layered shirts to knead at his sides. The ever bossy brunette manhandles Kageyama so he’s squished between him and Iwaizumi. His intent is clear, and Kageyama doesn’t protest, just tilts his head back so there’s more skin for Iwaizumi to kiss and bite.

“Say Iwa-chan…” Oikawa purrs, voice deep with arousal, “You said we had to leave by 12, right? What time is it now?”

Iwaizumi checks his phone, “We’ve got a little over a hour.”

“Perfect.” Just as Oikawa starts tugging at the waistband of his own track pants, there’s a loud sound coming from the closed door. Almost like nails scratching against wood. Then the meowing starts.

They all pause and in perfect unison turn to stare at the little paw that bats around under the door whenever the scratching stops. With the mood effectively ruined, Kageyama rolls from between the other two to let Tobio in the room.

“What a spoiled cat,” Kageyama pouts, eyes narrowed as Tobio slinks into the room, tail curled in satisfaction.

“He gets it from you,” Oikawa and Iwaizumi say in unison. Kageyama throws a sock at them in retaliation.

 

Xx

“Be sure to pee before we leave,” Iwaizumi says without looking up, “I don’t wanna have to stop five minutes after we get on the road.”

“Yes mom,” Oikawa deadpans, thumping loudly down the stairs.

“Yes mom!” Kageyama echoes, sounding much more energetic.

Iwaizumi rubs at his eyes, suddenly tired. “Whatever, are you two ready?”

“Yup! Don’t we look good?” Oikawa strikes a pose and though Iwaizumi tries his best to avoid inflating Oikawa’s ego, but he has to admit the mesh shirt underneath the red oversized sweatshirt is a good look.

They’ve known each other for so long, Iwaizumi doesn’t have to say anything, one glance at his face and Oikawa beams happily at the unspoken praise.

“Tobio-chan looks good too!,” Oikawa pulls the younger close to him, “He’s a total babe, right?

Kageyama flushes at the attention, and Iwaizumi can’t help but to play along, “He’s the babliest of babes.”

“That’s not even a word, Iwaizumi-san,” Kageyama protests, but he’s smiling, pulling up the collar of his black turtleneck to cover his smile.

“Language cannot comprehend your amount of babliness.” Kageyama has to hide his face in his hands at Iwaizumi’s words.

“Are you done embarrassing me?” he asks, voice muffled through his hands.

Oikawa taps his chin thoughtfully, “Hm, are we done, Iwa-chan? Because I think we can afford to do this for a little while longer.”

Kageyama makes a unintelligible noise of protest.

“Fine, fine,” Iwaizumi laughs, “We can go. But it’ll cost you oneeee kiss.”

“Just one?” Kageyama blinks at them innocently.

“Are you trying to kill us!?”

Xx

 

They cut it very _very_ close, but somehow by the grace of some higher being they manage to leave on time.

As they approach the car Kageyama stops short for a moment, glancing from the car to Iwaizumi back and forth. “You drive, Iwaizumi-san?”

“Yeah?” Iwaizumi shoves his hands into his bomber jacket, “How’d you think we were gonna get there?”

Kageyama blinks, “I didn’t really think about it. I figured Oikawa-san couldn’t drive though.”

“Hey!” Oikawa protests, “What is that supposed to mean? I’m not a bad driver!”

“Didn’t you run a red light on your driver’s test?” Iwaizumi questions.

For once, Oikawa looks taken aback, “How do you even _know_ that?”

Iwaizumi doesn’t answer, just climbs into the driver’s seat with a grin. They leave Oikawa gaping on the sidewalk, Kageyama sliding into the backseat.

“By the way, Iwaizumi-san...this car...it isn’t...y’know?”

“What?”

“N-nothing,” Kageyama stutters, “Shouldn’t you tell Oikawa-san to come in?”

“We can leave him behind. A trip with just the two of us would be a lot more peaceful, yeah?” And because Iwaizumi loves to bother Tooru in anyway he can, he starts the car and makes to take off. Frantically, Oikawa dives into the passenger seat.

He glares at Iwaizumi as he buckles himself in, who whistles innocently. “Alright, if you’re gonna ride shotgun you gotta be the navigator.”

“Leave it to me, Iwa-chan! I’ll get us there in no time flat!” He pulls up his navigation app, taps a few setting, then a helplessly confused look settles on his face. “So which one are we? The blue dot or the red one? Wait...we’re the blue? No...red.” Kageyama and Iwaizumi silently stare at their trainwreck of a boyfriend. “Oh! I got it! We’re gonna go south!”

Iwaizumi hesitates. Something tells him to double check Oikawa’s work, and when he takes the phone from the brunette he instantly finds that Oikawa’s set the wrong address for the destination.

_God help them._

“Tobio?”

“Yeah?”

“The rule’s changed. You’re the navigator now. Tooru….you man the radio.”

Xx

 

Despite Iwaizumi’s brutish tendencies he’s a good driver. Oikawa watches the casual way Iwaizumi handles the wheel with appreciative glances. He’d half expected to fear for his life in the passenger seat, but instead he's focused on his “job”--fiddling with the car’s radio and obnoxiously singing to pop songs, his tone deafness be damned.

With bleeding eardrums and a fondly exasperated glance, Iwaizumi asks, “Havin’ fun much?”

“Yeah! This may be the best road trips I’ve been on!”

“We haven’t even made it to the venue yet.”

“It’s still fun! I bet Tobio-chan agrees with me too!”

Kageyama’s munching away on a bag of chips watching the scenery pass by contentedly. At the sound of his name he perks up, “Oh, uh, I’ve never been on a trip like this before.”

“What?” Oikawa nearly dislocates his neck twisting around to look in the backseat, “Not even with family?”

“Whenever my parents go somewhere they just leave my sisters in charge. Not that I could go to New York in the middle of the week like they do.”

“Huh,” Iwaizumi blinks, “Even _I’ve_ been on a family trip.”

“With your grandma, right? I remember you were excited for weeks to go on a trip with her” Oikawa adds with a smirk.

Now _that_ gets Kageyama’s attention, “Iwaizumi-san, so you’re a grandma’s boy? That’s really cute!”

“B-be quiet,” Even without looking Iwaizumi can feel the soft smile Kageyama’s sending at him, “A-anyways, we’ll take you on a lot of trips, ‘kay?”

“‘Kay!”

“Y’know,” Oikawa starts in that tone of voice that means some eye-rolling will be following shortly thereafter, “We could always drive down to a big city and try out a love hotel. I hear some of them have--”

“--I will throw you forcibly from this vehicle,” Iwaizumi deadpans.

Xx

The concert's a few town's over, towards the southernmost part of the prefecture, a couple hours away. It’s smooth sailing minus the time they almost miss their exit because Kageyama had to practically YELL over Oikawa yodelling along to a Gwen Stefani song.

In fact it’s such smooth sailing that they make it into town in a little over two hours. Prince Iwaizumi, master of plans and trips, already has an idea. Without hesitation he rattles off a new location for Kageyama to direct them to.

Oikawa watches as a fancy mall, much bigger than the shopping centers they have back at home comes into view. And _oh yes._ Nothing’s better than blowing cash on a trip.

“A mall?” Kageyama queries, as Iwaizumi parks.

“Yeah! So you can buy your family souvenirs!”Oikawa slides out the car, cramped joints popping as he does.

“So they can know that I skipped class?”

“Oh. Yeah not a good idea.” He pauses, "There’s the food court?”

Instantly, a feverish glint lights up in Kageyama’s eyes. “Let’s eat!” Iwaizumi and Oikawa marvel briefly at Kageyama’s one track mind, before following his suit and hurrying into the mall. One step inside, and they’re being drowned in the warmth of the building, winter chill forgetten.

Extra as ever, Oikawa throws his arms wide and sighs happily. “Iwa-chan! Since you're our sugar daddy now, are ya gonna treat us to food too?”

More than just one pair of eyes roam over to them at Oikawa's (loud as hell) question. Iwaizumi continues to look forward but walks imperceptibly faster. “You're really asking to be left behind aren't you?”

“We can't leave him here,” Kageyama pouts.

“Thank you Tobio-chan. I'm glad at least _one_ of my boyfriends care abt me.”

“It'd be mean to the custodians to leave Tooru with them.”

If the sugar daddy comment didn't draw attention to them Iwaizumi's loud laughter as he throws his head back with glee does. He doubles over where they stand, cackling loudly.

In fact Iwaizumi laughs for so long, Oikawa and Kageyama have to ignore him completely. The former with his trademark petulance and the latter casually as if he didn't effortlessly render Iwaizumi to tears. Iwaizumi laughs the whole trek to the food court, while Kageyama gets samples from every vendor that offered them (and then a few that didn’t), and while Oikawa and Kageyama bicker over the better pizza place.

“It’s not that funny,” Oikawa finally huffs arms crossed and cheeks puffed out. They’re standing in line for Oikawa’s pick of a pizza place.

Iwaizumi takes a deep breath, gaining control of his bodily functions again, “I beg to differ.”

Oikawa continues to pout. Gently Kageyama nudges him in the side, “Take it as a compliment, Oikawa-san. You’re the only one that makes Iwaizumi-san laugh like that.”

Just like that Oikawa’s bad mood dissipates. “You’re right! This is just Iwa-chan’s twisted way of showing affection.” Kageyama shoots Iwaizumi a _you’re welcome_ look, before nodding along to whatever Oikawa’s saying.

They’re only three people away from the counter when Oikawa’s eyes drift to a line of stores past the food court. Whatever catches his eyes must be _amazing_ because he stops mid-sentence with a gasp.

Iwaizumi squints in that general direction. He thinks he recognizes one of the fancy stores Oikawa’d order things from online a couple of times, but honestly Iwaizumi can’t remember. What he _does_ know is that the brunette’s obviously desperate to go in.

After the third or so pleading glance Kageyama sighs, “I’ll order for you. Just _go._ ”

And with a squeal, and a kiss on Kageyama’s cheek, he does.

 

Xx

 

Oikawa doesn’t come back. Well he leaves that first store, that much Iwaizumi knows. He and Kageyama had ordered, received their food, and already sat down to eat when Oikawa rushed out the store to drop off his bags, take a few bites of his pizza, then takes off to blow more money.

Half an hour after that Kageyama considers Oikawa’s pizza forfeit and eats it for himself. Iwaizumi doesn’t mind it being just the two of them but they _are_ on somewhat of a time crunch. Kageyama’s focus is elsewhere, he’s been tapping away at his phone for the past five minutes.

Suddenly, the younger’s standing up from the table, looking mildly embarrassed but determined.

“Goin’ somewhere?”

Kageyama flushes harder and Iwaizumi is instantly intrigued. “I just uh…,” Kageyama makes a face, “There’s just something I wanna get really quick.”

“Well let me come with. Don’t want you to get lost,” Iwaizumi makes to stand as well, and Kageyama nearly jumps through the roof.

“That’s really not necessary, Iwaizumi-san! I’m only going for one thing Iwon’tgetlostsoseeyoubye!” And just like that he’s gone, power walking to whatever’s caught his interest.

Needless to say, Iwaizumi is _very_ curious.

Xx

 

His curiosity magnifies oh about twenty times when Kageyama walks back to their table not too long later, with a small pastel pink shopping bag in one hand. Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow in silent question that the other pointedly ignores as he slides into a chair.

“So whaddya buy?” Iwaizumi shamelessly tries to crane his neck to peer into the bag, but Kageyama shoves it under his chair protectively.

“Why do you wanna know so bad?”

Iwaizumi grins, bullying Tobio may be his second favorite thing in the world, “It’s just that anything that makes you blush like that I wanna be a part of.”

Kageyama makes some kind of gurgled noise, dropping his head into his arms as his face flushes. “Where’s Tooru?” he asks without lifting his head.

And that’s a...good question. Iwaizumi checks his phone. They’ve got a good twenty minutes before the odds of them being on time dwindle into the negatives. Something tells him to check Instagram and sure enough at the very top of his feed is the idiot in question.

“Well,” Iwaizumi sighs, “I found him.” He slides his phone owner so Kageyama can see the spam of Instagram pictures, each of them of Oikawa posing dramatically in a range of bathrooms and dressing rooms around the mall.

Kageyama, ever the loving, supporting boyfriend makes sure to double tap each and every picture.

“Don’t encourage him,” Iwaizumi grouses.

“He’s cute,” Kageyama pouts.

And Iwaizumi’s so weak to that pout. “Text him then, ‘nd tell him if he doesn’t get his ass to the car in the next ten minutes we’re leaving him for good.”

“I’ll tell him in a comment. _That’ll_ get his attention.” Kageyama smiles mischievously, as his thumbs speed across the keyboard.

Iwaizumi’s admittedly skeptical, but sure enough merely minutes after Kageyama returns the phone, the proverbial idiot returns. Well, they _hear_ him first, the telltale sound of multiple bags swishing together with excessive movement.

Oikawa doesn’t even stop where they’re sitting, just continues to rush past them. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon! Hurry up and get moving or we’re gonna be late!”

Kageyama and Iwaizumi give each other the _look,_ the one specifically used whenever Tooru’s being….well, _Tooru,_ before getting up to follow behind their boyfriend.

 

Xx

 

The air’s thick with anticipation by time they’re finally making it inside (they cut it _very_ close only employees loitering around in the lobby by time they arrive), Kageyama can’t help but stand at the entrance and marvel at the packed crowd. Marvel turns to awe then to pure _shock_ as Iwaizumi guides them to the _very front_ of the venue.

“When you said you got us tickets you didn’t tell us they would be _front row!”_ Kageyama practically screams.

“I wasn’t aware those two were mutually exclusive,” Iwaizumi tries to come off cool, but there’s a pleased smirk tugging at the sides of his mouth.

With wide, unblinking eyes Kageyama takes hold of Iwaizumi’s face, “I love you so fucking much.”

Iwaizumi wants to reply--really he does-- but first he’s choked up at Kageyama’s sincerity, and then the crowd’s cheering, yelling, because it’s _starting._

The next ninety minutes are the best ninety minutes of Kageyama’s life. He sings along to every song, Oikawa joining along, Iwaizumi too on occasions. It’s nice, more than nice, and if Kageyama were to drop dead in the middle of the final set he wouldn’t mind.

As the notes of the band’s last song start, it’s a ballad, how fitting, Kageyama turns to look at Oikawa and Iwaizumi and how the lights glint in their hair and eyes. A warm feeling blossoms in his chest so sudden and powerful it must show on his face.

Oikawa, ever observant notices. “What is it?” He leans in close to Kageyama’s ear to ask.

Kageyama just shakes his head and mouths _I love you_ with a smile. Oikawa gapes, but returns to himself quickly, instead he pulls out his phone and pulls the other two close. He holds up his phone at arm’s length, “Smile, babes!”

 

Xx

 

There’s a pleasant glow around Kageyama after the concert; Oikawa can’t look at him directly without squinting. They stroll out of the venue towards the car slowly, Kageyama even slips his hand into Oikawa’s. It’s precious and Oikawa itches to kiss his boyfriend senseless.

“I take it that you had fun,” Iwaizumi smiles.

“Best day of my life hands down,” Kageyama responds without hesitation. “I’m kinda sad today’s ending though.”

Iwaizumi leans against the car, reaching out to take hold of Kageyama’s waist, “It doesn’t have to end yet. We’re adults, I’m sure we can get a hotel for cheap...extend the trip by a night.”

Oikawa licks his lips and leans into Iwaizumi’s other side, “I think I like the sound of that.” They turn in sync to look for Kageyama’s response, and unlike that morning he can’t manage to hide the excitement in his eyes.

“Hmmm sounds fun,” he grins and the only thing that drags Iwaizumi from his fantasies of messy, dirty hotel sex is the feeling of his phone vibrating in his back pocket. Without much thought Iwaizumi checks his phone, but once he sees _who’s_ calling him, a chill settles in his bones.

It’s Kageyama’s sister. Well, one of them. And the last time he talked to this sister, Andrea, she threatened to break both his and Oikawa’s arms and legs if they ever made their little brother cry.

“Hello?”Iwaizumi answers tentatively, praying that she’s not calling for the reason Iwaizumi thinks she is.

“Good evening, Iwaizumi-kun,” Andrea says coolly, a little _too_ coolly, “Are you with my brother?”

_Should he lie?_

_No, lying’s a major sign of guilt. Plus if she’s asking she must already know._

“Um, yeah?”

“As I thought. Now ask him where his phone is.”

Covering the speaker Iwaizumi looks at Kageyama, “Tobio, where’s your phone?” Kageyama makes a thoughtful noise before patting down his pockets.

“I...uh...left it at home.”

“He says he left it,” Iwaizumi says, returning to the phonecall.

Andrea makes a soft, resigned noise, “Tell that idiot he had me worried for nothing. Oh, and put Oikawa-kun on the phone for me please. Actually better yet please put me on speaker phone.”

Dutifully Iwaizumi, does and the moment Iwaizumi gives Andrea the okay, the switch flips.

“SO WHICH ONE OF YOU BASTARDS CONVINCED MY BROTHER TO SKIP CLASS?”

Kageyama’s startled so hard he nearly falls, “W-who cares if I skipped? Today was the last day anyways.”

“I don’t care! The Kageyama family prides themselves on perfect attendance! But I wanna know: whose idea was it?”

“Me?” Iwaizumi ventures.

That gives Andrea pause, “Oh, Iwaizumi-kun, I was just getting to like you. I thought you’d be much more responsible than this.”

“This wasn’t necessarily irresponsible….”

“Oh? So skipping class and posting soft-core porn of my darling, innocent baby brother is RESPONSIBLE?”

Iwaizumi blinks, “I’m sorry? Posting what now?”

“Ask Oikawa-kun what I mean.”

Iwaizumi and Kageyama turn to stare at Oikawa blankly who rubs at his neck sheepishly in response. “So I might have posted a pic of Tobio-chan from earlier on Instagram.”

“IT’S PORN! AND NOW THERE ARE...WEIRDOS IN THE COMMENTS!” Oikawa gasps dramatically, checking his Instagram. Andrea doesn’t give him to come up with a rebuttal, she just continues to deliver her ultimatum. “The three of you have exactly two hours to drop my brother off at home or I will tear your houses apart board by board.”

_Click._

The three of them stand in the parking lot, listening to the dial tone of Iwaizumi’s phone. Andrea’s threat shouldn’t be taken lightly, and they know it.

“Well,” Kageyama says dryly, “Guess we can’t use the gift I got today.”

“What gift?”

Instead of answering Kageyama just reaches into the backseat to retrieve his tiny pink bag. The other two watch on curiously as the younger pulls out a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs to their palpable surprise.

“When did you…...no….why did you…?” Oikawa can’t seem to put words together, but bless his heart he’s trying.

“You talked about cuffing me up,” Kageyama spins them around a finger, “So I figured I’d take the initiative on this one.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes are dilated, as he debates whether being murdered in cold blood by Andrea is worth using those handcuffs as soon as possible. “You really want us to die….”

Kageyama doesn’t deny it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see! as an apology at how LONG this chapter took there's a double update! and actual use of handcuffs :p tbh this whole chapter was the three of them being ridiculous in their own way. almost being late for a concert bc of shopping is based on A TRUE MFN STORY. PLS LEARN FROM ME AND GET TO YOUR SEATS EARLY. 
> 
> oh yeah i almost forgot if u wanna reblog the pics on there own here's the [link!](http://stellarsketches.tumblr.com/post/166690050289/some-oikawa-instagram-requested-by-the-goblin-in)


	21. Hellooooooo Officer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikage love a man in uniform

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i noted this chapter's idea all it said was iwa's a cop and there are handcuffs how did it morph into iwa's a submissive top, oikawa's grey ace and sassy, and kags is a insatiable power bottom is beyond me

“I’m home!” Iwaizumi calls into the apartment, stepping out of his heavy work boots at the door. He’s only barely leaving the entrance when Oikawa bounds from further inside with bright grin. 

“Welcome back--oh! You’re still in uniform! Look how handsome you are, Iwa-chan! My big bad police officer keeping the streets of Japan safe.” Without a morsel of shame, Oikawa sticks himself to Iwaizumi’s side. He pats at the other’s shoulders and arms, fondling him through his uniform. 

“Why’re you groping me like this? You see me in uniform all the time,” Iwaizumi grumbles, but he’s secretly pleased by the attention. 

“You always look good enough to fondle,” a voice says from behind them. Kageyama wraps arms still warm from the outside summer sun around Iwaizumi’s waist and the younger presses his cheek against Iwaizumi’s back. “I see I came back just in time for the fun.”

Iwaizumi flushes at the tone of Kageyama’s voice. How someone so cute and sweet looking could be such a sex fiend is still beyond him. 

“You call hanging off me like this fun?”

“Of course it is, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa snuggles closer to his other side just to prove a point, “Who wouldn’t wanna fawn all over a handsome man like you? Bet the ladies on the street always swoon when you patrol.”

Kageyama giggles, and Iwaizumi can feel the vibrations of his laugh through his back. “Bet they all have fantasies about bein’ cuffed by you, huh?”

Oikawa snorts at the extent of Kageyama’s hyperbole; Iwaizumi on the other hand is suddenly dealing with a heat that has nothing to do with the what’s looking to be a record-breaking summer this year. If anyone’s been having fantasies about handcuffs it’s been  _ Iwaizumi.  _

And the one thing Iwaizumi doesn’t need today is to be kinkshamed in his own home. Oikawa, still practically attached to Iwaizumi’s side, pulls back to observe the blush spreading across his face. 

They make eye contact, and just like that something sharpens in the brunette’s gaze. Something that spells trouble. Trouble that’ll end in amazing sex--but trouble nonetheless. 

“Tobio,” Oikawa says, in an unreadable tone.

“Yeah?”

“Did you know they say that all cops are secret kinky?”

Iwaizumi chokes on air, or maybe he chokes at the way Kageyama presses his hips against him in that moment, hand dropping down to play with Iwaizumi’s tool belt. “I didn’t think I knew that. Anything else I should know?”

“Hmm let’s see,” Oikawa murmurs, his lips  _ right there  _ against Iwaizumi’s ear, making it harder and harder to keep any semblance of composure. “I also heard they like to be in  _ complete  _ control. Hold their partners down and just have their way with them.”

Kageyama, the brat, makes a disbelieving noise,”That can’t be true. Not with the way Iwaizumi-san lets us push him down.”

“N-not that I have a choice!” Iwaizumi protests. 

“That so?” With deft hands Oikawa detaches the handcuffs hooked on Iwaizumi’s belt, “Well, I think we can give you can chance to change things.”

 

Xx

 

The handcuffs clink against the headboard as Kageyama thrashes  futilely. His hands are bound above his head, cuffs linked through a gap of the headboard. He knows it’s pointless, but Kageyama can’t help but strain against the cuffs as Oikawa fingers him open. 

He plunges his fingers in deep, and with every press against Kageyama’s prostate the muscles in the younger’s thighs twitch and his cock leaks more precum. 

“C’moooon,” Kageyama whines through grit teeth, “Just fuck me already,  _ please.” _

Oikawa just hums noncommittally, adding another finger. Kageyama breathes in a harsh breath, tension coiling tighter in his body, head falling back onto the pillow. Iwaizumi, who’s been busy rolling on a condom and lubing up, shudders at the sight of Kageyama splayed out relatively defenseless. Of course they have a safe word, and if he wanted they’d all stop and do something a lot more vanilla, but for the moment, the illusion of submission seems very real. 

“Alright, Iwa-chan! He’s ready for you!” Oikawa pecks Iwaizumi on the lips before moving to Kageyama’s side to play with his nipples, already perked from the stimulation. 

Iwaizumi means to take it slow as he slides in, but Kageyama eagerly wraps his legs around Iwaizumi’s waist to pull him in deeper. Any other day Iwaizumi would just let Kageyama use him as his personal sex toy, but today Iwaizumi pries the tone legs away from his waist. Iwaizumi sits up on his knees and effectively bends Kageyama in half. 

And then he starts thrusting. 

Whatever pieces of accustomed dominant facade Kageyama had managed to retain dissolves the moment Iwaizumi starts moving his hips. It’s all a blur of sensations from there. Pain and pleasure mingling together. His wrists strain against the cuffs, sure to bruise with the strength he’s using, but the pain’s nothing compared to the feel of Iwaizumi’s cock hitting all the right places, and Oikawa’s hands and tongue caressing the spots that drive him crazy. 

“See? ‘S not so hard giving up control,” Iwaizumi pants. Kageyama wants to be angry but Iwaizumi looks so good flushed from exertion, he can’t be bothered to be  _ too  _ mad. 

All that changes when Iwaizumi slows down. “Fuck yoooou,” Kageyama moans, frustrated. If he had it his way, he’d be riding Iwaizumi into the mattress, while sucking Oikawa off if he was in the right state of mind for that. 

“You’re really really cute when you’re frustrated like this, Tobio-chan,” Oikawa grins. 

Kageyama whimpers,  _ actually  _ whimpers. Being forced to take every slow and persistent inch of Iwiazumi’s cock was decadent torture. “Why couldn’t you just--fuck! Jus’ cuff up Tooru instead?”

“That wouldn’t be as fun,” Oikawa laughs, “Penetration’s not really something I enjoy. Watching’s more fun, y’know?” He slides two fingers into Kageyama’s mouth, eyes darkening as the younger’s lips wrap tight around his fingers. “But if you want more Tobio-chan, I can give it to you.”

Oikawa retrieves his now spit-slick fingers to bring them to press at Kageyama’s stretched hole. The latter gasps, but relaxes quickly so that Oikawa’s fingers slowly sink in alongside Iwaizumi’s dick. 

Iwaizumi frowns, rhythm briefly disturbed, but he adjusts quickly, fucking into Kageyama’s pliant body harder and faster. The stretch of the added fingers  _ really  _ fuck Kageyama up, and now he’s shaking, tears beading in his eyes as he moans louder and louder. 

He’s sure they’re saying something to him. But Kageyama can’t hear anything but the ringing in his ears. He’s close, and Oikawa and Iwaizumi know it. Iwaizumi keeps fucking him harder and harder, pushing Oikawa’s fingers deeper as well. 

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Kageyama chants, brow furrowed, and body covered in a thin sheen of sweat, “‘m coming--oh holy  _ fuck!” _

Oikawa decides to show the younger mercy; he takes Kageyama’s badly neglected cock in his free hand, and jerks Kageyama off with an intensity that’s almost brutal. 

When Kageyama cums he makes a mess halfway up his chest and all over Oikawa's hand. His hips jump erratically as the intensity of his orgasm washes over him. 

If Iwaizumi found it hard to keep from unraveling before, it's next to impossible when Kageyama's suddenly three times tighter that he was before, walls squeezing Iwaizumi's dick like he was desperate for it. 

With a loud noise Iwaizumi lets himself go in the condom, pleasure thrumming in every cell of his body. 

He pulls out, ignoring the wanton noise Kageyama makes in response, lest they end up making more noise for their neighbors to hear through the walls. 

The silence between them doesn't last long because Oikawa's laughing to himself. “Had a lot of fun, huh? We should tie you down more often.”

“Oh fuck you,” Kageyama snaps with no real heat in his voice. He sighs contentedly as his arms flop down onto the bed heavily, silently thanking Iwaizumi for unlocking him. 

“I, an asexual, will have to refuse your offer.”

“How long are you gonna use that line?”

“‘Til you get better insults"

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, “Maybe next time we should try out a gag.”

“ _ Oooooh kinky!” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i wrote this all in one night and i actually like it a lot? soooo thanks to everyone still reading. ik my erratic updating is less than preferable but its my senior yr and im doing my best! i would like to say thanks to everyone who reads, and kudos, and comments. it really means a lot to me! so next chapter is a lot a lot of fluff!


	22. The Figure Eights of Dating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another date night. this one inspired by oikawa's anime obesession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one hc i will take to my grave is the one that iwaoikage have biweekly dates ok

“I know where I wanna go for this month’s date night,” Oikawa announces proudly, hands on his hips. When his glorious announcement is met with absolutely no reaction he ups the ante, marching over to stand in front of the living room TV.

Iwaizumi, through some kind of magic only acquired by spending nearly half your life with same person, just continues to play Overwatch like normal as if Oikawa weren’t blocking most the screen. Oikawa gapes in disbelief. 

Considering Iwaizumi a lost cause, Oikawa turns excited eyes to Kageyama. And because Kageyama can’t be mean to him (at least not at the same time as Iwaizumi) the younger locks his tablet, and dutifully gives Oikawa his full attention.

“Where do you wanna go, Tooru?” he asks, tone not unlike the way a kindergarten teacher may talk to a more...sensitive child. 

Oikawa just about eats it up. “Ice skating!” he cheers, triumphant grin spreading across his face. Instantly, one of Kageyama’s dark eyebrows quirks up to disappear beneath his fringe, and a subtle barely there smile twitches at his lips. 

Iwaizumi reacts strangely too; he actually pauses the game, tossing the Playstation 4 controller to the side in favor of watching Oikawa curiously. 

“What?” Oikawa asks. 

Kageyama looks at Iwaizumi. 

“Whaaaat?”

Iwaizumi looks at Kageyama. 

They seem to be having a silent conversation. Try as he might, Oikawa can’t parse the meaning behind the head nods and eyebrow movements; he can only stand there and let them have their moment. 

“Are you gonna tell him?” Kageyama aks Iwaizumi, and now Oikawa  _ really  _ wants to know. 

Iwaizumi’s smiling as he tosses Oikawa a smug glance, “I dunno. It’s kinda embarrassing. Would he even  _ want  _ to know?”

“Somebody just  _ please  _ tell me what the hell is going on here!” Oikawa whines. 

Finally Kageyama decides to take pity on him--or maybe the silence was the pity? His face is carefully devoid of emotions, but his eyes have a certain mischievous sort of twinkle in them. “ _ You  _ wanna go ice skating because we binge watched Yuri on Ice last week. You absolute  _ weeb!” _

Iwaizumi and Kageyama dissolve into raucous laughter, leaning against each other as Oikawa sputters denials left and right. “That’s not it!” he yells, stomping his foot childishly. “Hey! Hey! Stop laughing and listen to me!”

Frustrated, Oikawa jumps on the couch crushing the other two beneath him. “Just admit it Tooru,” Iwaizumi calls out, voice muffled where he’s being pressed face down against the couch cushions, “You’re an anime loving  _ nerd!” _

“I am not! But okay listen--no stop laughing--if I  _ was  _ a character, I’d be Victor right?”

Kageyama laughs harder, “I mean you  _ would  _ show up butt ass naked at someone’s home. True. But Olympic gold medalist you are not.” In retaliation Oikawa purposefully digs an elbow into the younger’s back. 

“Shut up,” Oikawa growls but there’s no real heat in his voice. He flops down suddenly nuzzling into Kageyama’s neck, the three of them finally in some resembling a normal dog pile if you ignore the painful looking way Iwaizumi’s neck is twisted. “Doesn’t matter my reasons, that’s my date idea and we’re doin’ it, kay?”

“Yeah, yeah we got it,” Iwaizumi grumbles as he tries to push the other two off of him, “Wait...Tooru...can you even skate?”

“Well about that…”

 

Xx

 

“I can’t believe someone would want to go on an ice skating date when they  _ can’t even ice skate! _ ” Iwaizumi’s ranting falls on deaf ears as he steps onto the ice. 

Oikawa’s too busy tottering on his rented skates. In fact he’s gripping the wall surrounding the ice so tightly his knuckles are turning white. “I figured none of us knew how to,” he grumbles. With an air of great trepidation, Oikawa stands shakily in the wall’s opening to the actual ice, eying the surface warily. 

He looks to Iwaizumi hoping to find a sense of comfort in his boyfriend’s similar unease on the ice. What Oikawa finds isn’t reassuring in the slightest. There Iwaizumi stands, arms crossed as he stands comfortably on his skates, no wobbling, no shaking knees.  

Iwaizumi’s normally gruff exterior is dampened by the royal blue fuzzy scarf and matching (yes and equally as fuzzy) hat bundling him up from the cold. Oikawa had nearly fainted from the cuteness when Kageyama had frowned at Iwaizumi’s lack of layers. 

The youngest turned on his heels heading back towards their bedroom only to return with a scarf and hat. 

“My mom knitted this,” Kageyama had explained, wrapping the scarf around Iwaizumi’s neck with a stern look. “Back when she was in her crafting phase, y’know? This’ll keep the chill out.” With a final tug on the hat, Kageyama stepped back to admire his handiwork with a soft smile. 

It was a touching moment, and Oikawa’s trying to draw strength from the memory. “I changed my mind. I don’t think I can do this.” He makes to turn away back towards the benches so he can yank the skates off and go back to his normal legs again. 

“Don’t punk out now,” Iwaizumi grabs hold of Oikawa’s hand to pull him closer. “You’ll be fine. Me and Tobio can teach you how to skate.”

The sentiment’s sweet but something about not being good at something doesn’t sit well with Oikawa and he tells Iwaizumi as such. 

“You can’t be good at  _ everything  _ the first time,” Iwaizumi chides then he smirks, “Even Victor Nikiforov didn’t become a champion in a day.” Oikawa pouts in response, how dare Iwaizumi make sense.  “Besides, you might not be the only one. Tobio might not know how to skate either.”

“Then we could learn together! He’d be my kouhai again!”

“How can he be your kouhai if you don’t even know how to skate?”

“It’s by age dammit!” Oikawa lunges at Iwaizumi, inadvertently stepping onto the ice. Immediately he loses balance and begins to fall. Just as quickly Iwaizumi has strong hands wrapped around Oikawa’s forearms, keeping him upright and away from imminent hospital bills. 

“Thank you for saving me, my big strong boyfriend,” Oikawa coos, “Now where’s Tobio? I wanna be suave and save him too!”

“Shouldn’t you focus on yourself first--oh there he is!”

Iwaizumi nods his head towards the middle of the rink, and there zooming past groups of children holding hands in long chains and couples drifting clumsily across the ice, is Tobio. If iwaizumi looks at home on the skates, Tobio must have been conceived, born,  _ and  _ raised on skates. 

With strong leg movements Kageyama propels himself in a wide circle on the ice, weaving through the throngs of people at a speed infuriating to beginning skaters. Iwaizumi waves Kageyama down but the younger doesn’t stop, just slows down enough so the self-satisfied smirk on his face is visible. 

“You can skate!?” Oikawa calls out when Kageyama gets within earshot. 

“Mom used to figure skate back in college.” Kageyama turns to skate backwards to answer, and now it’s  _ obvious  _ he’s being extra just to piss Oikawa off. “She took us to the rink in town all the time. I never told you that?”

“Show-off,” Oikawa accuses. At the same time he isn’t terribly surprised--leave it to Kageyama to be good at anything that requires athleticism. Still though he can’t let his kouhai’s arrogance slide. “Bet you can’t do a jump!” he calls after Kageyama’s retreating form. 

Honestly he doesn’t think his taunt would be heard, but before their eyes Kageyama picks up speed before performing a single jump. It was nothing fancy, no flips or spins, but it gets the message across. 

Kageyama circles back to where Iwaizumi and Oikawa stand off to the side and as he passes he throws two finger guns at them and winks. 

“When did we raise such an arrogant child?” Oikawa pouts. 

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, “You do realize he got that from you?”

 

Xx

 

“The first thing you gotta work on is your posture,” Kageyama explains patiently. Both he and Iwaizumi are flanking Oikawa, trying with some success to get him to skate. “Bend your knees, pull your stomach in, and keep your shoulders straight.”

“That’s too many things!” Oikawa cries. He’s got one hand clenched tightly on the back on Iwaizumi’s jacket, and the other wrapped around Kageyama’s forearm like a vise. Using the two of them for balance he’s a lot more stable. Moving seems to prove much more difficult. 

“You can remember all the steps to Beyoncé’s Single Ladies but posture’s too hard for you?” Iwaizumi queries with a pointed look. 

“Hey that song’s a classic,” Oikawa says seriously. “But  _ fine  _ I’ll try again. So bend the knees….shoulders straight….”

“Stomach in.”

“Oh yeah stomach.”

After a few tries, and a few moments of the two of them forcibly arranging Oikawa’s posture, Iwaizumi and Kageyama are able to skate a bit away without the brunette toppling over. Oikawa seems to be immensely proud of his achievements thus far. 

“Alright,” Iwaizumi takes hold of Oikawa’s gloved hand, “Next stop is actually moving.”

“Oh god,” Oikawa mutters, “Here comes my downfall.”

Kageyama takes hold of Oikawa’s other hand and begins to move forward slowly, “C’mon, Oikawa-san, it’ll be easy.”

It actually is. 

Oikawa allows himself to be pulled by Kageyama and Iwaizumi, matching the movement of their feet until he’s actually skating. Holy shit he’s skating! Stealthily, they let Oikawa’s hands go and for a glorious thirty seconds he is skating all on his own. 

And for those thirty seconds, Oikawa lets himself go, laughing loudly with glee. He reaches the bend in the ovular rink, and suddenly the realization that he has absolutely no idea how to steer himself on the ice crashes down on him. 

It seems to dawn on Iwaizumi and Kageyama as well because after a shocked moment they rush after Oikawa. They have perfect timing. Oikawa begins to panic, waving his arms as if the movement could forcibly turn him in the right direction. It doesn’t. What it  _ does  _ do is effectively throw him off balance and just as the other two reach him he goes down. 

They all end up in a cold heap on the ice. 

“I think I broke my butt…”Kageyama whines. 

“That’d be shame,” Iwaizumi reaches over to grope Kageyama’s ass briefly, “Then we couldn’t fuck you later on tonight.” 

Kageyama yelps before smacking Iwaizumi in the shoulder. Oikawa sits up from where he was previously sprawled out on the ice, “Iwa-chan you sleaze!” he gasps. 

A few people skate around them, rubbernecking in an attempt to find out why three grown men are acting so strangely. One guy nearly collides into his skating partner, too busy paying attention to the three of them. They watch it happen, and the three of them glance at each other before bursting into laughter. 

Even as the laughter subsides, Oikawa can’t help but continue to smile--he’s beaming even. Kageyama rises to his feet and carefully helps Oikawa up. “What’re you so happy about?” he wonders. 

“I’m just really happy! I consider this date a complete success!”

“Even though you still can’t skate?” Iwaizumi pokes fun. 

“Yup!”

“Even though you resemble Makkachin more than Victor?” Kageyama adds. 

“Yes,” Oikawa rolls his eyes but he’s still laughing. 

“Even though you’re still an anime loving nerd?” Iwaizumi asks. 

“Okay! That’s it! Both of you are dead!” Oikawa screams. With loud cackling, Iwaizumi and Kageyama take off, skating quickly away from Oikawa, leaving the brunette to slowly--oh so slowly--try and chase after them. 

He doesn’t ever catch them. 

What Oikawa  _ does  _ get is a helping of the Iwaizumi family’s famous hot chocolate and enough three-way cuddling under blankets to last him a week. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter so soon? amazing! i got the inspiration to write this out of the blue lol. feels weird writing fluff considering all of the ideas ive been thinking abt lately are a lot more smut centered. anyways i hope yall like this! you cant tell me oikawa isnt an anime loving nerd and that iwakage dont take advantage of it and laugh at him! next is more incubi au and I CANT WAIT FDAJDFAKFAJFJAAK


	23. Pull Here for Service

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exploring erogenous zones is a great way to strengthen the bonds w/ your partners. iwaizumi has fun learning something new, oikawa bosses everyone around, and kageyama suffers but he likes it (as usual)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S 3AM WHY AM I AWAKE BUT HERE HAVE SOME KINKY SMUT THAT GOT A BIT OUT OF HAND

Living with incubi has been...interesting. It’s been a full two months since Oikawa and Kageyama settled (more like charmed and seduced) themselves into Iwaizumi’s life. And strangely enough Iwaizumi has adapted...?

He’s never lived with anyone before that he wasn’t related to, and he’s definitely never lived with anyone he’s slept with. But it’s nice? Well, nice  _ now.  _ The first two weeks was nothing but being pushed against surfaces for blowjobs or handjobs or full-on fucking. Which wasn’t bad per se, but his punctuality took a serious blow. 

Not to mention the merciless reaming he got from his stylist for showing up to shoots with dark hickeys that required a pound of concealer to mask. 

But they’ve settled into some sort of a rhythm that no longer involves setting fires in the kitchen because “Demons don’t have kitchens. Duh, Iwa-chan” or creating a lake in the bathroom because “Where we come from our ‘tubs’ are the size of Beelzebub's crown”. 

There’s still one thing Iwaizumi hasn’t figured out though, and it’s currently swaying right in front of his face. Literally. 

His two incubi...boyfriends? (They haven’t really discussed the details honestly--but that’s not important) But Oikawa and Kageyama are both huddled around Iwaizumi’s ancient toaster, watching the bread with a ridiculous amount of focus. 

Iwaizumi’s sitting at the table behind them, just in case they accidentally catch the thing on fire again. Not to mention it’s a good view. Good because both incubi are clad in nothing but stretched out t-shirts, and--only in Oikawa’s case--underwear almost distractingly snug. 

Their attire, or lack thereof, is drawing Iwaizumi’s eyes directly to one things: their tails. 

He’s been curious about the whole tail thing for a while. And the horn thing. And the wings too. Curious because sometimes all of the demon extremities are there--Iwaizumi remembers the first night the two incubi appeared and even through the darkness he could see horns and wings--the whole shebang. 

But other times they’re all gone so they look like normal humans, crazy attractive humans, but humans nonetheless… And today only a tail...it’s a bit of a mystery and now that Iwaizumi’s thinking about he can’t stop thinking about it. 

From what he can see their tails aren’t really made of skin--for one they’re kind of a purpish-black, and shiny. Iwaizumi is completely overcome with the urge to just grab them, but he’s sure that’s bad incubi etiquette or something--

Just then, a piece of toast is being shoved in his mouth. “Iwa-chan,” Oikawa pouts, now standing near the table with his arms crossed. “Don’t ignore us. We’re slaving over a hot stove to feed you and you ignore us?”

“All you did was turn the knob on the toaster,” Kageyama chimes in from behind Oikawa, and he receives an elbow in his stomach for the honesty. He makes an overdramatic wounded noise, before stepping around Oikawa to climb up into Iwaizumi’s lap. 

“You’re not cute at all,” Oikawa grumbles as Kageyama cuddles up to Iwaizumi, acting ridiculously sweet. 

“I dunno…” Iwaizumi skirts his hands around the hem of Kageyama’s borrowed t-shirt, confirming that he  _ definitely  _ isn’t wearing underwear, “I think he’s pretty cute.”

Kageyama sticks his tongue out Oikawa, and when the brunette makes a move to retaliate the younger turns to Iwaizumi with (falsely) innocent eyes. “But what were you thinking about so intensely? If you keep scrunching your eyebrows together like that you’re gonna get wrinkles riiight here.” Kageyama reaches up to poke Iwaizumi right between the eyes. 

Iwaizumi considers not telling the truth, but one glance at the hawk-eyed way Oikawa’s watching his twitching fingers near the base of Kageyama’s tail shows that if Iwaizumi doesn’t come clean he may just be exposed. 

“I was just curious about all of this,” Iwaizumi waves a hand over Oikawa’s everything, “The demon things. Like the horns and tails. How do you make them show up and disappear?”

“Oh that’s it?” Oikawa questions, sounding bored. “With the way you were releasing pheromones I was hoping you thinking about something kinky.”

“I wish,” Kageyama mumbles to himself, sliding off of Iwaizumi’s lap to tend to the dinging toaster.   

“But to answer your question, Iwa-chan...We can control them at will! Isn’t that cool? Horns and tails get in the way, y’know? Especially when I’m brushing my hair--”

“--Or when we do it doggy style!” Kageyama interrupts cheerfully. Iwaizumi nearly chokes on another piece of--perfectly buttered--toast in surprise. 

To cover up his surprise, Iwaizumi casually props an elbow on the table, “Interesting,” he coughs. “So can you feel anything with ‘em? Your tails I mean.”

Oikawa’s reaction is as predicted, he cocks his hip and with a mischievous grin he lilts, “Now  _ that’s  _ our pervy Iwa-chan.” But the look on his face isn’t turned off in the slightest. 

It’s  _ Kageyama  _ who reacts suspiciously.

At Iwaizumi’s question, every part of him goes stiff. Tail included.  “W-why do you need to know if we feel anything?” he asks defensively just as Oikawa leans in close to Iwaizumi to whisper conspiratorially. 

“You wanna know a secret about incubi tails?” He pitches his voice just loud enough for Kageyama to hear from across the kitchen. The latter who blushes, and makes to tackle Oikawa from behind. 

“Tobio-chan,” Oikawa says in that tone of voice that means disobeying or disagreeing with what he has to say is  _ not  _ an option. He doesn’t even turn around to look at Kageyama. “You move so much as an inch and I won’t let you cum for a whole week. Understand?”

Kageyama nods mutely. Oikawa finally spares him a glance. “Use your words.”

“Y-yes, Oikawa-san.”

“Good boy,” Oikawa praises, then he smirks, “And stop looking like you don’t love being bossed around.”

Iwaizumi follows Oikawa’s eyes down to where Kageyama is pulling the hem of his t-shirt down in a vain attempt to hide his half-hard erection. Very interesting. 

“Weren’t you going to tell me a secret?” Iwaizumi asks, tearing his eyes away from what might be slick sliding down Kageyama’s thighs. He has a feeling this is going to end in a giant, kinky mess, so he decides to play along. 

“Oh that’s right! Iwa-chan, did you know...not only do all incubi have complete feeling in their tails, but it’s something of an erogenous zone?”

This is  _ definitely  _ going to end in a kinky, dirty mess. 

“I had absolutely no idea,” Iwaizumi smiles sweetly, but he’s already giddy in anticipation. “So I could get you off with your tails right now?”

“Depends on how good you are with your hands,” Oikawa purrs, planting himself on the table right in front of Iwaizumi. 

Iwaizumi leans back in his chair haughtily, unperturbed by the obvious challenge, “I’m sure you’re already aware of my credentials in that department.”

The brunette crosses his legs, giving Iwaizumi a miniscule flash of those too tight black briefs, “Then let’s see what you can do.”

And just like that Oikawa’s pulling Iwaizumi up to stand, pressing hot kisses down the line of Iwaizumi’s neck. The incubus laughs breathily as Iwaizumi wraps firm hands on the other’s waist to spin him around so that he’s bent over the kitchen table. 

Kageyama’s still doing as he was told, squirming and biting his lip in the same spot. It’s clear that with just enough of a push, he’d give in and be honest. “Hey, Tobio,” Iwaizumi calls out, and the younger begins to fidget even more with their attention on him. “How about you come over here and let me touch your tail too?”

He hesitates, but still shakes his head no. 

“More for me then!” Oikawa shakes his ass teasingly, tail swishing. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes at the display, but ends up curling a hand near the base of Oikawa’s tail anyways. A visible shiver runs down the length of the incubi’s spine, a clear sign of arousal. 

“A little higher,” Oikawa pants. Iwaizumi does as he’s told, gripping right at the base, and  _ pulls.  _ The noise Oikawa makes in response is practically unholy. He slumps forward until his chest is completely draped on the table, palms pressed flat on the surface so he can thrust his hips back into Iwaizumi’s hold. 

“Feels that good?” Iwaizumi asks redundantly, and he receives a moaned affirmative in response. Emboldened by the positive reaction, Iwaizumi continues to rub at the base of Oikawa’s tail, speeding up the movements of his hand until Oikawa’s digging his fingernails into the arm Iwaizumi’s using to prop himself up. 

“Ow--what the hell!”

“If you don’t stick your dick in me right now I’m gonna curse you with night terrors,” Oikawa growls, already wriggling out of his underwear. 

“How did I end up with such bratty incubi demanding sex from me constantly?” he muses as he shimmies out of his loose sweatpants. He should be thankful at least that he’s getting the opportunity to undress rather than have Oikawa disintegrate his clothes like he’s done once or twice (try five times) before. 

“Oh please, Iwa-chan. Don’t complain. You liked being bossed around almost as much as Tobio-chan does,” Oikawa says cheekily. 

“I don’t  _ like  _ it,” Kageyama grumbles, but his steadfast obedience, and the flush sitting high on his cheeks gives away the lie. 

“Sure you don’t,” Oikawa giggles, “Care to explain why you’re dripping slick all over the place then?”Kageyama presses his thighs together but offers no explanation. 

Even Iwaizumi has to laugh at Kageyama’s stubbornness. He has no doubt they’ll break him down soon. 

“Alright open up,” Iwaizumi offers Oikawa three fingers, and without pause, the brunette sucks Iwaizumi’s fingers into his mouth, coating each digit with saliva like an expert. The thought occurs to Iwaizumi that he probably  _ is.  _

But those are thoughts for another day. Iwaizumi turns his focus to the impatient incubus beneath him. He retrieves his fingers to trace his spit slick fingers around Oikawa’s entrance. 

The incubus takes two fingers easily, and as Iwaizumi fingers him open he twists around to capture the other’s lips in a kiss. At the feel of Oikawa’s tongue curling around his own Iwaizumi, admittedly, loses a bit of focus, slowing down the movement of his fingers. 

Oikawa will have none of that. He braces himself against the table and begins to fuck himself on Iwaizumi’s fingers, rolling his hips back harder and faster. At this point Iwaizumi just accepts his role as a living sex toy (not that he doesn’t enjoy it), adds another two fingers, and enjoys the show. 

After a few minutes Oikawa deems himself properly stretched, and he pulls off Iwaizumi’s fingers. Iwaizumi already knows what Oikawa’s about to demand even before he opens his mouth. So with quick, deft hands Iwaizumi lines his cock up with Oikawa’s entrance and pushes in with one smooth motion. 

With one hand, Iwaizumi takes hold of Oikawa’s hip for leverage while the other drops back down to tease Oikawa’s tail. If Iwaizumi thought the reaction before was enthusiastic, it’s nothing compared to now.

The double stimulation instantly makes Oikawa throw his head back in ecstasy. “Oh  _ fuck!” _ he screams, arching his back. Clearly he wasn’t kidding when he claimed the base of the tail was a erogenous zone. 

Everytime Iwaizumi pulls, Oikawa tightens up, making it harder and harder for Iwaizumi to keep his head on straight. Oikawa must know this because he gives Iwaizumi a heated look over his shoulder, hair disheveled, and eyes fever-bright. There’s always an unearthly glow about the two incubi in the middle of sex--it makes sense really--and it always makes Iwaizumi shiver. Out of fear or excitement he’s never quite sure. 

What he is sure of is that there’s no way in hell he’s going to last much longer. Not with the way Oikawa’s throwing his hips back in his trademark filthy way, biting his lip and shooting Iwaizumi looks from under his lashes that makes it obvious that he knows exactly what he’s doing. 

“C’moooon Iwa-chan,” Oikawa coos, “Make me cum so Tobio-chan’ll be jealous.” Iwaizumi looks over at Kageyama, who doesn’t even bother to respond. He’s watching the both of them with heavy-lidded eyes, unfiltered want pouring out of every pore. But still he stands in place. 

Iwaizumi admires Kageyama’s willpower, but at the same time he wants to test it. So Iwaizumi sets out to fuck Oikawa harder, wet, lewd noises bouncing around the room every time his hips meet Oikawa’s ass. 

There’s a copious amount of precum dripping onto the floor, as Oikawa gets closer and closer to his limit. Iwaizumi can tell that he’s right at his tipping point because his constant litany of swears and praises and taunts for Kageyama to watch putter out, and Oikawa’s silent save for a chorus of gasps and moans. 

And Iwaizumi’s saved the best for last. He gives Oikawa’s tail one more tremendous pull, and Oikawa cums just like that--even surprising himself. 

“Ah, that was good,” Oikawa sighs happily, slowly peeling himself off of the table. His shirt has rode up, and there are red marks on his hips that would line up perfectly with the shape of Iwaizumi’s hand. And it’s the probably the sight of Oikawa all fucked out and satisfied that finally breaks Kageyama’s steadfast refusal. 

“Now it’s your turn, Tobio-chan!” Oikawa sing-songs, “You’ve been a good boy so far, so now it’s your choice. If you want us to fuck you come over here, and we’ll make you feel reaaaalllly good.”

“And what’ll happen if he refuses?” Iwaizumi instigates. 

“Hmm, I guess he can watch you get me off again.” At Oikawa’s words Kageyama makes a frustrated noise before steeling himself and stomping over to stand near the other two. Iwaizumi and Oikawa both leer at their blushing mess of a incubus, before getting right to work. 

Iwaizumi pastes himself to Kageyama’s back, sliding a hand under the pilfered t-shirt to tug at the already perked nipples hidden underneath. “So can I touch your tail now?” Iwaizumi whispers in Kageyama’s ear, laughing a bit when he shudders. 

“Yes, Iwaizumi-san,” Kageyama groans, completely surrendering himself to the mercy of the two pairs of hands and lips roaming all over his body. 

Now that he’s got consent, Iwaizumi wastes no time in grabbing a hold of Kageyama’s tail, sliding his hand further and further upwards. He can tell he’s getting close to the incubus’ sweet spot, because with every upward slide of his hand Kageyama’s moans go up an octave. 

Finally Iwaizumi gets tired of teasing and he takes a firm hold at the base and pulls as hard as he can. And Kageyama damn near cums on the spot. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. You’re pulling so  _ hard _ ,” Kageyama groans. If he’s trying to sound like he doesn’t like it-- he’s failing. 

“Don’t say it like you don’t love it, Tobio-chan,” Oikawa steps back from watching attentively to sink to his knees. Kageyama’s still leaking an obscene amount of slick, and Oikawa wastes no time in licking a long stripe up one slick-covered thigh then the other. 

Oikawa’s tasted his slick before, but he’s still not quite used to the sweetness of it. It really drives Oikawa wild in an almost feral way. He laps it all up from Kageyama’s thighs, then he moves up to lick at the other’s balls and perineum as Kageyama shakes in anticipation above him. 

“By the way…” Oikawa starts, pulling away from sucking at the head of Kageyama’s cock, “For your punishment would you prefer orgasm denial or overstimulation?”

“Wha? Why am I getting p-punished?”

“Are you questioning my authority, Tobio-chan?”

“No--Ahn!” the protest warps into a moan when Iwaizumi roughly shoves in the fingers he was teasingly circling around Kageyama’s entrance. 

“Really?” Oikawa tuts in displeasure, “Still sounds like you need time to think about what you’ve done.”

On cue, Iwaizumi begins to withdraw his fingers completely making Kageyama moan loudly in protest. “W-wait! Don’t pull out, please, Iwaizumi-san,” Kageyama pants, trying to keep Iwaizumi’s hands where they are, “I learned my lesson, I promise.”

“Then pick,” Oikawa growls.

“D-denial?”

Oikawa beams, “Overstimulation it is!”

It takes a moment for the words to sink in, because Kageyama’s too blissed out that Iwaizumi’s resumed finger fucking him into oblivion. “That’s not what I picked!” Kageyama whines when his brain catches up with reality. 

“It wouldn’t be punishment if we did what you wanted! I’m gonna milk you totally dry, Tobio-chan.”

They bring Kageyama to orgasm once just with Oikawa’s mouth on his cock, and Iwaizumi’s fingers pistoning into him. There’s a good thirty seconds of reprieve before Iwaizumi is completely hard again, and sliding balls deep into Kageyama. 

Frantic hands settle in Oikawa’s hair as the brunette deep-throats him, occasionally pulling back to tongue at the sensitive and flushed head of Kageyama’s cock. Each and every of Iwaizumi’s thrusts makes Kageyama leak more and more precum and slick. 

Wedged in between them, Kageyama’s quickly losing any semblance of composure. All at once Iwaizumi pushes in as deep as he can, hitting Kageyama’s sweet spot directly, at the same time pulling his tail so hard that the onslaught of pleasure nearly makes him blackout. 

He manages to stay standing and conscious, but can’t hold on anymore, and Kageyama comes shaking and screaming into Oikawa’s awaiting mouth. Iwaizumi fucks him through his orgasm, Kageyama’s erratic clenching around his cock suddenly making it a thousand times harder to stave off his own orgasm. 

Iwaizumi does well in restraining himself but then Kageyama’s tugging the hand Iwaizumi has splayed palm flat on Kageyama’s stomach to hold him close up towards his mouth, and  _ bites.  _

The sudden flash on pain mingles with the intense pleasure of Kageyama’s ass sucking him in like his life was dependant on it, and then Iwaizumi cums, his hips shuttering in their rhythm. 

When Iwaizumi pulls out, he can’t help but observe the mess of intermingled cum and slick he’s left behind is almost enough to get him hard again.  _ Almost.  _ What he witnesses next is definitely enough. 

The last orgasm seems to have drained Kageyama of his energy, and he flops chest first onto the table as he tries to catch his breath. Oikawa, still on his knees, sees this as a perfect opportunity. He circles around to crouch Kageyama, reaching out to pull apart Kageyama’s entrance with his thumbs. 

Kageyama makes an inquisitive noise to which Oikawa laughs lightly. “It wouldn’t be overstimulation if we left it like this! C’mon, you can cum a few more times, yeah?” And then he leans in to start giving Kageyama the best rimming of his life. 

Iwaizumi sits back and watches as Oikawa forces Kageyama’s legs further apart, bending him over more so his tongue has more room to reach. Sloppy noises escape every time Oikawa sucks on the rim or stiffens his tongue to truly tongue fuck Kageyama, cleaning up every bit of Iwaizumi’s leftover cum. 

And although Kageyama made it seem like he was too tired for anymore stimulation, his second wind arrives as Oikawa starts with his torture. “W’nt m’re…” Kageyama slurs unintelligibly from where he’s pressed cheek to table, tongue lolling out. 

“What was that?” Oikawa questions, pulling away from Kageyama’s twitching entrance, much to the latter’s evident displeasure. 

“I-I want more, Oikawa-san,” he pleads. 

“Thought you couldn’t take any more?” Oikawa leans in to leave quick kitten licks around the rim of Kageyama’s entrance, enjoying the way Kageyama squirms. There’s really nothing Oikawa enjoys more than driving his two partners crazy with lust. “I guess I can give you more. Besides, Iwa-chan’s enjoying the show.”

Oikawa turns a bit to catch Iwaizumi’s eye from where he sits watching, cock in hand. With a captivated audience, Oikawa sets back to his work. He rims Kageyama until he comes, completely untouched. 

Still that isn’t enough, and Oikawa reaches around to fist Kageyama’s dick. Kageyama doesn’t even get completely soft from the previous orgasm, the rapid pace of Oikawa’s hand and the insistent press of his tongue, really pushing his limits. 

Iwaizumi watches with intense interest as Kageyama’s thighs start to tremble. He’s already leaning heavily against the table, but as Oikawa begins to flick his tongue at an unbearable speed, he melts completely so that only his ass is elevated. 

“‘M close again. Tooru, ‘m cumming!” Suddenly Kageyama’s voice skews higher--reaching a pitch Iwaizumi has only heard once before. And when he comes it’s only a trickle, which pleases Oikawa to no end. 

Oikawa sits back, watching as his handiwork slides to the floor in an overstimulated heap. Kageyama leans back on Oikawa’s chest breathing heavily, and eyes glassy and totally unfocused. 

“Mm, you still taste  _ really  _ good, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa praises as he runs his fingers through Kageyama’s already mussed hair. Apparently Kageyama says something Iwaizumi can’t hear because the elder incubus is leaning forward to hear better. “Oh? You wanna taste cum too? I really like this honest Tobio-chan. But I’ll give you what you want, right Iwa-chan?”

Kageyama settles on shaky knees as Oikawa stands in front of him, stroking his cock with a languid rhythm. Oikawa tangles his fingers in Kageyama’s fringe so that he can keep the latter just centimeters away. Close enough to tease, but far enough away that Kageyama can’t take Oikawa’s cock in his mouth as he obviously wants to.

The desperate, pleading look in Kageyama’s eyes spurs Oikawa on so that he fists his cock faster and faster. Kageyama’s straining against the hold Oikawa has on him, but Oikawa only shows enough mercy to allow the head of his cock to press against Kageyama’s lips. 

Each pump of his hand on his own dick bumps against Kageyama’s already red and swollen lips. Precum’s pooling at the head, and impatiently Kageyama darts his tongue out to lap it up. It’s a really good visual, and it sends a thrill up Oikawa’s spine. 

With a breathy groan Oikawa cums in Kageyama’s awaiting mouth, milking it for all that it’s worth. Kageyama, bless him, laps up every bit like he was starving for it, and only when he’s finished does he sit back on his haunches. 

“Well,” Iwaizumi starts eyes glinting with something more at home in the eyes of an incubus, “This was a very interesting and informative breakfast. I can’t wait to use this against you at every opportunity.”

“Oh fuck me,” Kageyama groans.

“That’s the plan!” both Iwaizumi and Oikawa at the same time. 

 

Epilogue: 

 

It’s 10:54 and Oikawa and Kageyama are both tangled together in bed, instead of getting ready for their movie date (which starts at 11:50) that they so begged Iwaizumi to go on. 

“C’mon,” Iwaizumi kicks at the mattress, “Get up. I didn’t buy these tickets for nothing.”

“Mmrrpprggghhh,” comes one muffled voice. 

“Nmmmaaambmbmmama,” comes another. 

And then there’s nothing. The two lumps under the covers continue to lay there still. Luckily Iwaizumi has his secret weapon. 

With a flick of his wrist, Iwaizumi flips the comforter off the sleeping incubi, exposing them to the cool air of the room. Oikawa scrunches up his face while Kageyama rolls over to the other side, but neither sense the incoming trouble. 

All according to plan. 

Gently Iwaizumi climbs into bed, smack dab in between them and carefully--oh so carefully--takes hold of each one of their tails, one in each hand. And without much more ceremony, Iwaizumi pulls them hard. 

Both incubi jerk awake with startled moans, Oikawa jerking upright to glare at Iwaizumi while Kageyama pants red faced into his pillow. 

“I told you I’d use your weakness against you whenever I saw fit, didn’t I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldve finished this like hours earlier but bc im reckless and easily distracted i didn't. i hope ya'll enjoy the return of the smut. it really feels like every other chapter involve d*cks lmao. i really enjoy incubi au nd i hope y'all do too! i think the next chapter is gonna be kags bachelor party for the wedding au. maybe ill finish it by his birthday but i doubt it! btw to all of yall sweet ppl leaving comments and kudos i would like to say i love you and i would casually die for you! byeeeee!


	24. Anybody at this Sleepover Smoke Weed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things kageyama didn't want at his bachelor's party: crying, strippers, overall stupidity. what kageyama got at his bachelor's party: everything mentioned BUT the strippers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just 7 pages of karasuno team fluff. the fluffiest fluff. fluffy like down pillows

The same night Iwaizumi is taken from his humble abode and smuggled to the strip club, Kageyama finds himself similarly abducted by Hinata. Kageyama’s just leaving the gym, completely satisfied with the day’s workout, when he steps outside to find Hinata waiting for him in his newly purchased car. 

They hadn’t had concrete plans to hang out, but after nearly a decade of friendship Kageyama has come to expect being randomly picked up and taken to some equally random place. In fact, if Kageyama or anyone in his family ever bothered to press charges every time Hinata has taken it upon himself to commandeer Kageyama’s time and presence, a restraining order would’ve been issued  _ years  _ ago. 

“Get in!” Hinata yells with a grin, sticking his head out of his pretentious, candy red Lexus LFA that cost about a year and a half’s worth of endorsement money. Kageyama squints at him suspiciously. Hinata looks excited...then again, he’s  _ always  _ excited about something, but it seems like too  _ much _ excitement. 

Despite his suspicions a ride home in a luxury vehicle he doesn’t have to pay for would be greatly appreciated. Kageyama hops into the passenger side, stuffing his gym bag near his feet. “What do you want? You don’t need me to hold your hand at another dentist’s appointment do you?”

It is a testament to Hinata’s elation that he neither answers Kageyama’s question, nor does he rises to the bait. “Had a good workout?” Hinata asks instead, overly chipper as he puts the car into gear, steering them onto the main road. 

“Yeah…?” Kageyama draws out, now doubly suspicious and a tad bit confused. “I didn’t snap my neck lifting weights or anything. Weren’t you supposed to work out with me today?”

“I something else to take care of today,” Hinata admits vaguely, pretending to be focused on the road. 

“Like what? You don’t have a life outside of volleyball. 

Hinata shoots him a brief, judgmental glance, “Like you’re one to talk.”

“Hey, I have a life. I  _ am  _ getting married in five days, you know,” Kageyama boasts. He sits up straight in the seat and smiles a little, eyes sparkling as he remembers that yeah, he’s seriously getting  _ married.  _ To the two loves of his life. Despite himself, his eyes drift down to the engagement ring at its rightful place on his finger. 

Again, Hinata doesn’t get riled up at the teasing. If anything he’s just as happy about the marriage as Kageyama is. “Yeah you are. And I’m your best man,” Hinata sighs dreamily. His eyes mist up a bit, the way they have lately at nearly any mention of marriage. “I’m so happy for you, Tobio.”

Kageyama intends to respond with something equally as heartfelt, he does. But something catches his eye--and it takes precedent. “HINATA! RED LIGHT!” Kageyama yelps, foot mashed down, pressing some imaginary brake, and hands gripping at any solid surface in the car. 

Hinata slams down on the brakes, bringing them to a sudden stop at the light. There’s a tense minute of silence between them as Kageyama continues to have vivid flashbacks of every decision that led him to be in the car with known scatterbrain Hinata Shouyou, while Hinata bows his head in apparent repentance. 

“From now on…” Kageyama grumbles, now that his heart is no longer in his throat, “Focus on the road.”

“Got it.”

 

Xx

 

No more than twenty minutes later Kageyama finds himself sprawled out on the couch in Hinata’s living room, something he rarely gets to do. Mainly because Kenma has always been perched on some part of it, focused intently on a video game, thumbs operating at speeds that shouldn’t be humanly possible. 

His query on where exactly the blonde was--there literally hasn’t been a day that he’s come over and Kenma wasn’t there--is met with another fumbled vague answer. But there was a distinct tone of happiness in his voice, which must mean Kenma’s with Kuroo. And Hinata has been trying to get the two of them together for  _ ages.  _

Kageyama’s just about to ask Hinata what he’s done this time, but he hasn’t even gotten the first syllable out when there’s a knock on the door. Hinata springs up to answer it. And with such exuberance Kageyama assumes it’s food delivery, but what rounds the corner from the entrance is not food. 

Well, not  _ only  _ food. 

There, two paces behind Hinata are Daichi and Suga, the latter holding a bottle of pink moscato and a jumbo bag of chips while the former is struggling with two armfuls of pillows. 

“Wha--?” Kageyama says intelligibly and on cue there’s another knock at the door. This time it’s  Tanaka, Nishinoya, Ennoshita, and Asahi. Casually, all six of the newcomers weave around Kageyama sitting there on the couch blankly, dropping duffel bags on one side of the room along with their pillows and bed rolls. 

Everyone’s chatting amicably amongst themselves--apparently the only person who doesn’t know what the fuck is going on is Kageyama. 

Daichi comes striding out of the kitchen, and upon noticing Kageyama’s shock he comes over to sling an arm around the younger’s shoulders. “Don’t look so surprised!” he grins, “You didn’t think we’d be able to get the whole team together for your bachelor’s party?”

Kageyama squints, not yet comprehending, “A bachelor’s party? I told Sugawara-san I didn’t want one.”

“They didn’t tell you?” Daichi swivels around to glare at Suga who suddenly finds the nutritional label on a bag of Cheetos fascinating. Unsatisfied, Daichi turns his attention to Hinata who caves within seconds. 

“I couldn’t tell him!” He wails, rushing over to claw at Daichi’s shirt. “I was afraid he wouldn’t come over if I did! You know how stubborn Kageyama is!”

There’s a collective murmur of agreement from the former members of Karasuno’s volleyball team, Ennoshita in particular looks haunted by his memories as captain his third year. Kageyama frowns as no one even attempts to come to his defense. Yeah he said he didn’t want a bachelor’s party (more like he yelled it from the rooftops) but there’s no way in hell he’d turn down an opportunity for a Karasuno reunion, and he tells them so. 

“You know what means!” Nishinoya crows (no pun intended) getting up to links arms with Kageyama. “It’s finally time to get this party started!”

“That’s right!” Tanaka unsticks himself from the couch as well to commandeer Kageyama’s other arm with an unnecessary amount of force.  “We’re getting the works: alcohol, giant cakes, and strippers.”

Asahi damn near faints at the mere mention of  _ stripper,  _ and honestly Kageyama can’t blame him.  “Oh god,” he mutters to himself. “If we’re getting strippers, I changed my mind: take me home.”

As usual Sugawara doesn’t allow Tanaka and Nishinoya’s particular brand of ridiculousness to get far. We are  _ not  _ getting strippers. Or a cake. We’re gonna play drunk Mario Kart, make fun of people we went to high school went, then sleep.” Suga pries the other two off Kageyama to pull the younger into a smothering hug. “My baby’s too innocent for us to get strippers.”

“Sugawara-san, I’m not a child,” Kageyama protests weakly. His back is bent at a weird angle--Kageyama’s got more than just a few centimeters on his ex-senpai, so the bend to be pressed into Sugawara’s chest isn’t pleasant. Still, Kageyama doesn’t struggle, he’s used to this by now. 

“Shush you’re like twelve,” Suga quips, making Tanaka snort. 

Hinata comes creeping over to where Kageyama’s still being held hostage in the hug. If Kageyama could see anything other than the fibers of Sugawara’s shirt he would be able to recognize that shit-eating grin spreading across Hinata’s face. 

“Kageyama? Innocent?” Hinata scoffs. “You haven’t seen what kind of  _ special  _ underwear Tobio ordered for the honeymoon.”

Instantly, Tanaka and Nishinoya howl with laughter, doubled over and making as much noise as possible. Kageyama whirls around to smash a hand down on his now ex-best friend’s head, squishing as hard as he can. 

“Ow, ow, ow,” Hinata whines, “Why are you doing this to meeeeeee?”

“Because you have a big fuckin’ mouth!”

Hinata wriggles free from Kageyama’s death claw, retreating to the couch where Daichi and Ennoshita have made themselves comfortable--like a kid hiding behind his parents. 

“Save the attempted murder for Mario Kart,” Sugawara deadpans, firmly steering Kageyama towards the TV. 

“We won’t have to worry about that as long as Tsukishima’s not here,” Tanaka grumbles, somewhat bitterly. He’s probably remembering their last pseudo Mario Kart  tournament that ended with Tsukishima’s ultimate victory that he never hesitated to rub in their faces. Especially Tanaka. 

With those emotions revamped, Tanaka stomps over to wrangle with the mess of wires Hinata’s often neglected Wii has become. They’re just beginning to divide up who plays against who when there’s another knock at the door. 

A tense hush falls over the room, and sure enough when Hinata returns Yamaguichi and Tsukishima are trailing behind him. “Sorry, we’re late!” Yamaguichi calls out as he raises a six pack of fancy flavored ale in greeting. “Had to make an alcohol run.”

Nishinoya leans into Daichi’s side to whisper conspiratorially “Those hickeys say otherwise.” Daichi disguises his laugh as a cough.

Honestly Kageyama has no idea why the two of them are  _ really _ late, and frankly, he doesn’t  _ want  _ to know, he’s seen enough….things accidentally over the years that he’d rather forget, but he knows  _ exactly  _ what that smug grin on Tsukishima’s face means. 

“You didn’t think I’d pass up an opportunity to knock the King down a peg again?” Tsukishima asks as he and Kageyama make eye contact. 

Kageyama makes a face at him, and throws a controller at him. “Let’s see if you can prove it.” The blonde looks confident, and behind him Yamaguichi’s mouths  _ Have fun losing!  _

 

Xx

 

Mario Kart had become a staple in the Karasuno “family” back when the original third years were preparing to leave. It was also the first time Kageyama and Tsukishima had interacted for more than thirty minutes without some kind of petty argument popping up. Only because Sugawara delivered the ultimatum that if the two of them didn’t at least  _ pretend  _ to get along for the last week of classes, they were going to be locked outside while everyone else had a good time. 

It was hard curbing his temper for a whole week straight, but Kageyama’s found that disappointing Suga was like disappointing his mother--only like twenty times worse. And In the end they made it through: no arguments, no fights, no nothing.

And whatever pent up aggression Tsukishima built up during that week when he couldn’t yell at anyone he managed to get out by thoroughly destroying each and every one of them in Mario Kart. Kageyama remembers the cool, unblinking determination in Tsukishima’s eyes as he dodged every shell tossed his way. 

It was probably the third time Kageyama’s ever respected the sarcastic blonde in his life, and the first time completely unrelated to volleyball. Despite that respect, and despite the feel-good memories surrounding the tradition, Kageyama’s dead set on revenge. 

But quickly revenge slips out of his grasp. 

First round is Asahi, Daichi, Hinata, and Tsukishima, which quickly goes downhill. Daichi apparently only touches a video game controller once every decade, and can barely figure out how to steer. Suga giggles something about Daichi having more experience with his hands in other places, which is scandalous enough to have Asahi burying his face in his hands, and consequently leaving his Princess Peach vulnerable to attack. 

And Hinata...well he...runs right off of Rainbow Road in the last lap. 

The next round results in another Tsukishima victory. Even Yamaguichi full on cuddling him doesn’t break his concentration. Tanaka and Nishinoya put up a good fight, tag teaming and flinging shells at Tsukishima whenever possible. It’s a close match, but they too are defeated. 

Kageyama ends up in the final round against the demon Tsukishima and Ennoshita, who looks vaguely traumatized at the prospect of ending up between them. From the second the match starts Kageyama’s hyperfocused on the TV. He refuses to be beaten. 

It’s the final lap, and by the grace of some benevolent deity he’s in the lead. By then Ennoshita’s already given up even trying to be a genuine competitor, and has taken to record the action for Snapchat while Tanaka narrates. 

The finish line is  _ juuust  _ in sight when--bam--a blue shell, one Tsukishima’s apparently been saving all this time until now, hits him with deadly accuracy. 

A split second is all it takes for Tsukishima to pass Kageyama up, and as the victory animations roll Tsukishima sits back on the couch smugly. 

“Best two out of three,” Kageyama blurts out. Normally he could take his loss quietly, but not when victory was so close. And definitely not when his loss has been recorded and posted on at least four different Snap stories. 

Tsukishima raises an amused eyebrow, “Can't take your loss quietly? What bad sportsmanship.”

“I seriously don't understand how you managed to trick Yamaguichi into dating you,” Kageyama scrunches his face up at Tsukishima. “Are you tricking him or something?”

“I think you're forgetting that Tadashi has an evil streak a mile long.”

“That is...true.”

“Hey!” Yamaguichi interjects--but he doesn’t refute the claim. He punches Tsukishima in the side playfully, pushing the blonde into the armrest of the couch. “Don’t talk about me when I’m sitting right next to you!”

By now most of everyone else has drifted away from the scene of Tsukishima’s brutal Mario Kart crimes, towards the kitchen to partake in the multitudes of alcohol brought in. Still leaning heavily against the armrest, Kei glances around as if to make sure the three of them are relatively alone. 

Kageyama watches curiously as Tsukishima leans forward to open his bag at his feet, rummaging around to find something. It doesn’t take long before he’s pulling out a rectangular wrapped package and handing it over to Kageyama casually. 

When Kageyama does nothing but stare at the blankly, Yamaguichi laughs to himself while Tsukishima makes a soft, exasperated noise. “Open it you idiot.”

“You’re the idiot, idiot,” Kageyama huffs, but he does as he’s told. Gently, he unwraps the gift and what’s inside makes him gasp. It’s a picture. Not just any picture, a framed picture of the one double (?) date they’d all went on. 

They’d gotten a random employee to take it, and in the picture Kageyama’s holding the giant six foot,  chocolate brown teddie bear Iwaizumi and Oikawa took upon themselves to win and spend 10,000 tickets at an adult arcade for. Said giant bear (that Kageyama still has and occasionally cuddles with when his boyfriends are absent for whatever reason) is blocking most of Kageyama’s face, but his happy, flushed expression is still clear as day. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi both look a bit proud--and a lot smitten. Next to them Tsukishima and Yamaguichi stand, the latter holding a handful of pillow-sized crow plushies, and grinning from ear to ear. Even Tsukishima looks happy, a soft curve of a smile on his lips even as Kageyama has one of the bear’s arms smacking him in the face. 

It’s a touching memory, and Kageyama can’t believe the other two would even remember the outing from years ago. Kageyama looks to Yamaguichi with wide eyes. 

“Don’t look at me,” Yamaguichi laughs, elbowing Tsukishima next to him in the side again, “It was Tsukki’s idea.”

To say Kageyama’s jaw drops is an understatement. 

“What?” Tsukishima asks defensively. “I can’t get you a gift?” But most of his usual bite is lost due to the embarrassed flush on his cheeks, and the way he can’t look either one of them in the eye. “I know you said you didn’t want gifts, but I thought I could get you that. It was a good memory.”

“It was,” Kageyama agrees, tearing up the slightest bit. He messes with his hair to hide it, but it’s obvious Yamaguichi notices when his pleased grin only grows wider. 

If anyone had told Kageyama back when he was a first-year Tsukishima would get him a tasteful and  _ thoughtful  _ wedding present, he probably would have stared at them like they’d grown a second head…..and third arm…...and an extra 7 toes. 

Things really have changed. 

“I really will have to make sure Yamaguichi catches the bouquet on Saturday so the two of you can get married, and I can embarrass you with this story of you being nice to me for once,” Kageyama says as he wraps his picture for safe keeping.

In another rare occurrence, Tsukishima laughs--a genuine, non-mocking laugh. “Funny. But I’m sure if Sugawara doesn’t catch the bouquet his head will explode.”

That has Kageyama laughing too. Because it’s 100% true. Yamaguichi laughs too before something catches his attention. “Wait. But you didn’t did object to the possibility of marrying me.”

 

Xx

 

Wisely, Kageyama leaves Tsukishima and Yamaguichi alone in the living room, and after storing his framed picture in a safe place where it can’t be stepped on or thrown across the room, he makes his way into the kitchen. 

The second and third years--Kageyama has never gotten out of the habit of calling them that (after all, they’ll forever be his senpai)--plus Hinata are crowded around the dining room table talking over a bunch of spread out books. 

As Kageyama comes closer he realizes that they’re old year books. Most are Karasuno’s, but suprisingly there’s a few of Aoba Jousai’s and Nekoma’s. “How’d we even end up with these?” Kageyama questions as he flips through the pages, taking note of the familiar faces. 

“Let’s just say I have connections,” Hinata brags, flashing him an obnoxious peace sign. 

Kageyama is less than impressed. “In other words you bribed that sweet, delusional girl who had a crush on you from Aoba Jousai to get it for you.”

Hinata launches himself at Kageyama, and the resultant struggle is loud enough to pull Nishinoya’s attention from Nekoma’s yearbook towards them. Noya jumps up to drag Kageyama over to the other side of the table. “You’re just in time! We got a hold of the yearbook from when Asahi and the rest of them were first-years!”

“We’re betting money that at least one of them had a bowl cut back then!” Tanaka laughs. He and Nishinoya seem to be having fun, but every other upperclassmen seem to be experiencing varying levels of mortification. 

Suga in particular has his face proactively covered with his hands--but that could also just be the alcohol. 

“Is it really that bad that you can't look?” Ennoshita asks, nursing his own drink. 

“Yeeees,” Sugawara whines through his hands. 

Daichi rolls his eyes--the perfect image of a man fondly exasperated with his spouse (not that they are actually married yet) before turning to Ennoshita. “It's not. He's just drunk.”

“I'm not! You're just not drinking enough so I have to make sure the wine doesn’t go to waste! You drink up too Asahi!”

Their resident gentle giant tries to lean away from the sloshing glass of pink moscato Suga’s thrusting towards him. “I-I don’t think I should. My tolerance isn’t that good.” Which is a fact they all can attest to.

“C’mon it’s only one glass. You can’t get drunk on that!”

Asahi takes it, if only to shut Suga up. It’s a decision they will come to regret, but that will come later. At the moment, Tanaka can no longer contain his impatience, and he sets upon Karasuno’s yearbook with a mischievous fervor. 

Honestly? Kageyama can understand Sugawara’s trepidation. Not that any of the ex-third years looked  _ bad,  _ just really,  _ really  _ different. They find Daichi’s picture first, and even Nishinoya is taken aback at just how cute their ex-captain was. Back then Daichi still had baby fat in his cheeks, and Kageyama can’t imagine being scared of just a sweet looking kid. 

Sugawara’s next, and he seriously looks almost the same save for the typical fresh out of junior high unflattering haircut. If anyone did a complete 180 in their looks it’s Asahi. Gone is the long hair and the facial hair, in its place is a neat and tidy bowl cut. Kageyama is dimly aware, through his intense moment of unwanted disassociation, of Hinata and Tanaka laughing like hyenas.

From there they pull out the yearbook from when Nishinoya, Ennoshita, and Tanaka were first-years. First-year Noya’s hair is somehow gelled up  _ higher,  _ adding more unnecessary centimeters of height. Tanaka looks relatively the same save for the braces and thick rimmed glasses. And Ennoshita….hasn’t changed a bit. 

Last up are the original first years. Kageyama protests that they don’t need to look--after all everyone actually saw them as first-years. But Sugawara won’t listen, and almost instantly he’s cooing at how cute his “kids” were. “Awww, Kageyama look at how cute you were!”

Kageyama doesn’t think he looks cute in his picture, if anything he looks irritated and willing to be anywhere but there. 

“That’s how you always looked,” Hinata states matter-of-factly, and receiving a smack for it

Ennoshita laughs at their antics, sliding the yearbook closer towards him. “But looking at this brings back memories of high school. The two of you used to be terrors.”

“Weren’t they?” Nishinoya laughs, “Always making so much noise and destroyin’ stuff! Remember that time with the prinicpal’s wig? You two were legends the first week of school!”

“You can’t really talk,” Kageyama grumbles, before turning back to Ennoshita. “Sorry for causing so much trouble when you were captain.”

“Me too,” Hinata bows his head deeply. “And sorry for accidentally pulling the fire alarm and making the whole school evacuate that one time before practice. I didn’t know everyone would come out of the clubroom half undressed. 

“It’s all in the past. The two of you certainly kept things interesting--wait you do did what?” Ennoshita interrupts himself to look fully at Hinata who just grins sheepishly. Eventually Ennoshita regains his train of thought. “My point is it’s kind of amazing how much you’ve grown. Our little Kageyama’s getting married.”

Kageyama wants to protest that he was already nearing six feet as a first-year, but there’s a proud and content smile on Ennoshita’s face. It hits Kageyama suddenly just how much this team has become something of a family to him. 

The emotion must shine through in his expression, because Ennoshita pats Kageyama on the back in a brotherly fashion. “You keep growing up well. And when I get married and have kids I’ll have them come over to your place to wreck the place. That’ll make us even from all the stunts you pulled in high school.”

Slowly, Ennoshita’s smile takes on a decidedly scary slant. It’s the same smile that ended in more than just a few laps up one of the ridiculously steep hills in Miyagi. Kageyama can sense the danger in the air, and for the briefest of moments he is very, very afraid.

 

Xx

 

After that the party kind of dissolves into all of them drinking and recounting some of their favorite stories accumulated through the years. Tanaka’s in the middle of telling them the story of the time his sister accidentally seduced one of his girlfriends when Kageyama gets at least a dozen text message back to back to back, his phone buzzing non stop. 

As he pulls out the offending device he realizes they’re party updates from both Matsukawa and Hanamaki. From Matsukawa he gets a bunch of jumbled texts about Iwaizumi. Something about a stripper hitting on him, and then Iwaizumi completely ignoring the flirting in favor of asking the dancer where he can get lingerie like that for his future husbands. 

There’s even a video. Kageyama opens it, and there in frame is Iwaizumi either completely drunk off his ass or somewhere close to it. He’s leaning fully of Kindaichi, who is seconds away from having the remainders of Iwaizumi’s beer splashed down his back.

Kageyama’s too busy admiring the teasing peek of pecs the v neck gives him that he forgets to listen to what Iwaizumi’s actually  _ saying.  _

“Jus’ love them so much,” video Iwaizumi sighs, “‘Nd I can’t wait to be married.” At one point he smiles into the camera, and Kageyama’s heart throbs. Without hesitation he saves the video to his phone. 

Hanamaki hasn’t sent him any videos, just a plethora of pictures. The first few are Oikawa posing in front of the club they went to. He’s all smiles, and Kageyama can’t help but to smile to himself as he scrolls through his and Hanamaki’s text conversation. 

There are more pictures of Oikawa dancing happily, prismatic body glitter shimmering under the lights, but nothing compares to the glimmer in his eyes or the shine in his smile. Then there are pics of Oikawa sitting at the bar; he’s showing something to the bartender, and when Kageyama zooms in he realizes it’s a wallet-sized picture of all three of them they got printed on a whim. 

**From Hanamaki:** The bartender tried to hit Tooru up and he took that as an opportunity to talk about his “wonderful and beautiful and great” fiancees

Again, a bubble of giddiness wells up in Kageyama; he’s truly getting married to two of the most lovable idiots in the whole world. 

“What’re you smiling at?” Sugawara slurs, startling Kageyama. He honestly wasn’t even aware he was smiling so dopily. 

Kageyama shows him the pictures proudly, “They’re just so cute,” he says, still smiling.  Sugawara smiles himself, suddenly emotional. 

“You’re really happy aren’t you, Tobio?”he asks, eyes welling up with tears. 

“Uh...yeah?” Kageyama glances at Daichi and Asahi for an explanation for Suga’s behavior. Daichi’s smiling at him with that familiar dad smile while Asahi tears up as well. 

“Young love is so beautiful,” Asahi chokes out. 

“It really is,” Sugawara agrees. “I still can’t believe our baby Tobio is getting married!” And then like middle-aged housewives they cling on to each other as they wail dramatically. 

Kageyama watches the tiredness seep into Daichi’s very being. “How many times do I have to tell you Koushi, that Kageyama’s not our kid?”

“How could you say that! We practically raised him!” Sugawara yells, getting up to latch onto Kageyama again.

Daichi sighs. “I think it’s time for bed.”

 

Xx

 

All the furniture is pushed aside to make room for all of the futons and sleeping bags. In a horrific moment, Kageyama realized he didn’t have anything necessary for a sleepover, until Hinata produced Kageyama’s spare duffel bag filled with pilfered toiletries and clothes from his house. 

It’s reminiscent of a training camp as they all sprawl out on the floor, Sugawara and Asahi knock out immediately. At least one of them are snoring. Kageyama’s futon is right next to Hinata’s, and they lay there facing each other talking quietly as everyone else drifts off to sleep. 

Hinata squirms, obviously waiting for Kageyama to say something in particular. “Thanks for setting all of this up,” Kageyama says finally. “I had fun.”

Immediately Hinata lights up, beaming proudly. “I did good, huh? Totally worthy of my best man status!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Hey! C’mon compliment me properly,” Hinata hisses as Kageyama rolls over onto his side. The redhead pokes his back angrily, but Kageyama seems to have fallen asleep just like that. With a pout Hinata gets himself comfortable in his futon. 

“Hinata?” Kageyama asks quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for being my best man, Shouyou. I...I don’t think--it just means a lot to me. I’m just glad I could share this with my best friend.” Kageyama can hearing sniffling, but he steadfastly refuses to roll over and look Hinata in the eye. 

But Hinata doesn’t care. He scoots over the few feet between them to attack Kageyama with a bruising hug. “You’re my best friend too!” he cries, dripping tears all over Kageyama’s sleep shirt. 

“Get off me idiot!”

“Never!”

They fall asleep like that, Hinata full on spooning Kageyama. Despite all of Kageyama’s bitching he looks comfortable with his cheek pressed up against his pillow, and he’s still sleeping soundly enough when Tanaka wakes up in the middle of the night. 

For a moment he sits up, scratching his stomach and blinking blearily into the darkness. Eventually his eyes adjust, and he has enough mental faculties to pick himself up to head to the bathroom. It’s when he’s stumbling back into the living room does he notice Kageyama and Hinata curled up together peacefully like kittens. 

He practically leaps for his phone to snap a quick photo of the two. The flash goes off and Tanaka freezes, but the only resultant movement is Hinata burying his face deeper into Kageyama’s back. Tanaka laughs evilly to himself as he texts the picture to Oikawa. 

 

Xx

 

Oikawa jerks awake up out of dead sleep just as his phone rings. The light of his phone is blinding so it takes an embarrassing amount of time for him to make out what he’s seeing. 

Curiously enough it’s a text from Karasuno’s baldy, and attached to the message is a picture of Kageyama sleeping soundly. Oikawa smiles--that is until he realizes that his sweet, darling fiance is not alone. There with a toned arm wrapped around  _ his  _ fiance’s waist, is Chibi-chan, looking content as hell. 

The only thing more shocking than the picture is the message below it. 

**From Baldy:** just so you know kageyama has options SO DON’T FUCK UP

It’s safe to say Oikawa’s scream is heard all the way across town. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why this chapter was so hard to do? i guess what they say abt simple things being the hardest to do is true. s/o to me for posting this at NOT 4 in the morning. next chapter will be up much sooner bc its gonna be a follow up of chapter 13 or....SLUT AU!!!!! im readt!


	25. XYZ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikawa and iwaizumi must get down to the bottom of this mystery so that they can find their.....bottom....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a long-awaited continuation to chapter 13! and it features some of my favorite things: oikawa being outflirted and iwaizumi being a horny mess

**From Oikawa the Menace:**

_ don’t forget we start our investigation tmm iwa-chan! _

 

**From Iwaizumi ‘Beefcake’ Hajime:**

_ Are we looking for your sense? Bc that shit’s long gone _

 

**From Oikawa the Menace:**

_ …. _

_ must you be an asshole NOW of all times???? we H A V E to find blowjob guy iwa-chan. it’s destiny _

 

**From Iwaizumi ‘Beefcake’ Hajime:**

_ You’re just hoping blowjob guy will suck your dick.  _

 

**From Oikawa the Menace:**

_ nothing says love more than blowjobs, iwa-chan. you’d know that if you weren’t such a VIRGIN.  _

 

**From Iwaizumi ‘Beefcake’ Hajime:**

_ AS IF YOU’VE FUCKED ANYONE SHITTYKAWA _

_ Ugh. Whatever if you wanna find this guy we’d better start with Nakamoto _

 

**From Oikawa the Menace:**

_ Who? _

 

**From Iwaizumi ‘Beefcake’ Hajime:**

_ The guy who sits in front of us in Bio...you know the guy who GOT HIS DICK SUCKED IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS. SOME SHERLOCK YOU ARE  _

 

**From Oikawa the Menace:**

_ my expertise is in the field, you’ll see tmm! let’s commence operation seduction at 0900 hours! my charm will get us to the bottom of this mystery! _

 

**From Iwaizumi ‘Beefcake’ Hajime:**

_ More like it’ll get us sent to detention _

 

Xx

 

Despite the fancy codename, their plan is quite straightforward. Find the one link to hot blowjob guy they know and just...talk to him. But simplicity demands tact, and that's the one trait Oikawa definitely doesn't have. 

The next morning Iwaizumi strolls through the front gates, surprised to see Oikawa sitting on a bench near the entrance. The other's texting away while Iwaizumi stands rooted in place, sure whatever he’s seeing is just an apparition. This is possibly the first time Oikawa's been early to school since their junior high graduation.

It’s apparent that whatever power blow job guy has is immense. From there they go over the plan (which is really Iwaizumi begging for Oikawa to not put his foot in his mouth for longer than ten minutes), before heading up the stairs towards homeroom. 

Nakamoto is already there, copying someone's homework for third period. Iwaizumi can't help but to check underneath the desk, in a vain hope that blow job guy will be there again. But things are never that easy.

With that in mind, Iwaizumi and Oikawa settle into their seats, then wait an appropriate amount of time before tapping Nakamoto on the shoulder. 

“Huh? Did you need the trig homework too, Iwaizumi-senpai?” Nakamoto asks earnestly as he swivels around in his seat. 

“Thanks for the offer but--” Iwaizumi squints at the name scrawled at the top of the other homework packet. “Did you get that from Tanaka? Hasn't he fallen asleep in trig everyday this semester?”

“Yeah, which is why he copied it from Sugawara-san.”

Oikawa throws his head back with a loud cackle while Iwaizumi rubs at his temples tiredly, “When will you underclassmen learn to do your homework?”

“I have better things to do than that,” Nakamoto grins cheekily, and Iwaizumi doesn’t know if the double meaning was on purpose, but he’s suddenly remembering long dark eyelashes and blowjob swollen lips. 

And while Iwaizumi takes an unwilling trip down memory lane, Oikawa can’t pass up the opportunity to get in a joke. 

“Oh we have evidence of that,” he grins, and even though Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, Oikawa seems pleased at his segue to what they truly want to discuss. “We saw what was under your desk yesterday.”

Nakamoto has the decency to look a bit sheepish, but there’s still a glimmer of boyish pride in his eyes. Clearly, being caught by a classmate was worth the service. 

“Sorry about that…” Nakamoto flushes a bit in embarrassment, but still doesn’t look repentant in the slightest. “Didn’t mean for anyone to see that, but I just couldn’t bring myself to wait for lunch break, you know?”

“Ah, the impatience of youth,” Oikawa chastises, but overall he’s happy at the prospect of being a step closer to discovering Blow Job Guy’s identity. “But who was that guy? I’ve never seen him around before.”

At Oikawa’s words, all of Nakamoto’s sheepish behavior disappears into thin air. In its place is now a look of pure shock. He stares at the two of them like they both grew second heads out of their necks, or like they’ve never heard of the sun. 

Slowly, as if he were talking to a pair of idiots (he is) Nakamoto asks, “You’ve never heard of Kageyama? He’s pretty famous on campus--what the hell do the two of you  _ do _ ?”

“Our homework,” Iwaizumi grumbles. He then glances at Oikawa who is suddenly and intensely taken with the shape of his fingernails. “Well at least  _ I  _ do. I don’t know about this idiot here.”

Oikawa’s hellbent on pumping as much information out of Nakamoto as possible, but that doesn’t stop him from dropping the hand he has propped on his desk down to jab Iwaizumi in the side. 

“So enlighten us, oh wise one,” Oikawa says as he finishes his assault on Iwaizumi. His tone is carefully casual, “You know anything else about this guy? First name? What class is he in?”

Nakamoto shrugs.

“WHAT?” Oikawa and Iwaizumi blurt out at the same time, causing everyone in the classroom turn and gawk at them. 

Quieter this time Iwaizumi hisses, “You don’t even know the first name of the guy that  _ sucked you off in the middle of class?” _

“You don't understand how hard it is to focus on anything else with an actual sex god in the same room with you. Have you seen his lips? And the things he did with his tongue…” Nakamoto trails off, eyes glazing over dangerously. 

Iwaizumi has to stop himself from following a similar train of thought. He can't deny that Kageyama, whoever he is, has an unmistakable, tangible allure to him that's nearly impossible to ignore. 

But they're still not any closer to this resident “sex god”. 

Nakamoto snaps out of his trance--and Iwaizumi definitely doesn't wanna know what the fuck he was imagining--to perk up in his seat, “If you're so interested in Kageyama just go ask his fan club. I'm sure they'd welcome in new members.” 

The guy has a fan club. Where the hell has Iwaizumi been this whole time?

“Hmmm,” Oikawa strokes his chin thoughtfully, “So where would we find a high concentration of horny boys pent up enough to make a fan club?”

After only a moment of silence Iwaizumi and Oikawa turn to other.. 

“Locker room,” they say in sync. 

“It's so creepy when the two of you do that,” Nakamoto shudders. 

 

Xx

 

Luckily for them third period is their gym class. And doubly as lucky, it's the only other class they have together. Which means Iwaizumi won't have to struggle to talk to some fanboy all by himself, and trip over a non blow job related reason as to why he's suddenly on the hunt for this guy. And this also means Oikawa won't just dive right in to the questioning with the delicacy of a bull in a china shop, and have them look like desperate fuckos in search of a threesome or whatever. 

At least Iwaizumi hopes he won't. 

The only problem is: he doesn't have any idea where to start. 

They're in the locker room now,  Iwaizumi in the middle of shrugging off his standard issue button down while he contemplates the best way to go about this. 

Oikawa has no such reservations. Still shirtless (which is already raising his desperate fucko levels) he accosts the person nearest him. The poor guy about to be a target of Oikawa’s weirdness is Kunimi, a junior of theirs they had gym with last year as well. 

That means Kunimi’s been exposed to enough foolishness to where he barely bats an eyelash when Oikawa corners him. 

“Kunimi-kun! Did you know there’s a kid on campus with his own fanclub?” 

“Yeah,” Kunimi says impassively refusing to even look at the excitable brunette, focused instead on inputting the combination to his gym locker. “Kindaichi’s the one that started it.”

Iwaizumi, who had been listening in to the conversation sputters in shock. At the same time Kindaichi, having heard his friend unapologetically out him, jerks upwards from where he’s crouched at his own locker on the bottom row. He doesn’t notice the open locker door above him and ends up banging his head on the door. 

Hard.    
  
"Wha--ow! I told you not to tell anybody!" Kindaichi yells, clutching the top of his head in pain.    
  
"Everybody already knows," Kunimi says dismissively. Then he cuts his eyes to Oikawa who's still staring at Kindaichi with a stilted look of disbelief. "Or at least almost everybody. I never took you to be the type to be a rabid fanboy, Oikawa-senpai."   
  
Kindaichi visibly bristles. "We aren't rabid!" But the protest falls on deaf ears because Kunimi's already turned back around to his locker, nonverbally telling them all he has better things to do.    
  
And Oikawa can respect that. So he shifts his sights to Kindaichi instead, "Kindaichi-kun," Oikawa coos, tone sickeningly sweet, "So you're the one that started this fan club, huh? Interesting! Tell me more about it."   
  
"Are you trying to make fun of me or are you genuinely interested?" Kindaichi squints at Oikawa warily, before looking at Iwaizumi. By now most everyone recognizes the latter as Oikawa's much needed babysitter.    
  
"I'm being serious!" Oikawa pouts when the skeptical look on Kindaichi's face persists, "We've taken a sudden interest in Kageyama and who better to give us information but you!"   
  
"Kiss ass," Iwaizumi mutters, disguising it as a cough. He pretends to be heavily invested in the quality of his uniform jacket when Oikawa hears him and glares in his direction.    
  
Kindaichi pays their antics no mind, but suddenly his expression clears, as if he's come to some kind of revelation. “I didn’t expect you to be like that too, Oikawa-senpai. It’s okay if you want to join the fanclub. No one’s judgmental or anything.”

“Wait. NO--,” Oikawa protests. 

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Pervykawa,” Iwaizumi interrupts, striding over to pat Oikawa on the back condescendingly. “You’ve finally found your people.”

With an incredible amount of willpower, Oikawa outright ignores Iwaizumi’s goading. He just continues to make eye contact with a still oblivious Kindaichi, smiling stiffly as to not give away how much he wants to throw his best friend out of a window. 

“Kindaichi-kun,” Oikawa manages through gritted teeth, “Tell us what you know.  _ Please _ .”

“Oh, sure. Uh...his name’s Kageyama Tobio and he’s in class 2-C, and he’s more or less famous for his blowjob techniques.”

“You know from first hand experience?” Iwaizumi needles. 

Predictably, Kindaichi flushes a bright red. “N-no! T-there’s no way that could happen. We’re not in the same class, and I honestly have no idea where he hangs out most days, and  we’ve barely talked--”

“So you’re telling me you’re idolizing a guy you haven’t even talked to?” Oikawa deadpans, torn between disappointment that their best lead might just be leading them to a dead end and amazement that one single second-year has enough sex appeal to enthrall people he hasn’t even talked. 

And then it dawns on Oikawa that, by definition, he’s another one of those admirers. The thought sobers him some. 

Mentally Kindaichi comes to the same conclusion, but because underneath that occasionally prickly exterior lies a polite and conscientious kouhai, he makes no mention of it. “Don’t judge me,” Kindaichi grumbles-- pouts almost. “You try not getting tongue-tied in the face of supreme beauty like that. He’s damn near unapproachable.” 

Iwaizumi can’t argue with that logic. Kageyama made eye contact with him twice, and both times something in his soul quaked with the power of the other’s aura. He’s powerful for sure, but that power effectively marks the end of their investigation. They  _ could  _ campout at his classroom after school, but Iwaizumi would rather avoid looking like a creep  _ and  _ a desperate fucko. 

He’s still pondering their options as Kindaichi and Oikawa move on to gossip about the new physical education teacher that might or might not be flirting with the track team instructor. Iwaizumi ignores them--the less he knows the better--in favor of finally turning to his gym locker to change. 

And it’s as he’s opening his locker that something, a note, falls out onto the floor. Dumbly, Iwaizumi stares at the folded up note as a prevailing sense of nervousness creeps into him. It’s like his body has a mind of its own, because he’s bending down to unfold the note as gently as possible. 

What strikes Iwaizumi first is the familiarity of the handwriting. Bold and blocky handwriting that graced the teasing note he found with his shoes just yesterday. Handwriting that belongs to the very same “sex god” that’s been haunting his waking thoughts for the past 24 hours. 

Iwaizumi double checks the content of the notes, all in an effort to make sure he’s seeing what’s truly there. Because what he holds in his hands just might constitute as a miracle. 

_ Do us both a favor and come to the old drama room first period lunch. I’ll make it worth your while~.  _

Xx

The drama department was the first of the art departments to be renovated, and subsequently, the first to be abandoned. It was also notorious for having a couch that saw more action that every bathroom on campus combined. 

And that handy tidbit sticks in Iwaizumi’s brain the entire trek from his fourth period class, down to the front courtyard where he waits for Oikawa to slink out of English, then the entire walk to the oldest wing of the practice building. 

For once Oikawa doesn’t speak, and when Iwaizumi hazards a glance at him, he looks….eager? With just a hint of uncharacteristic nervousness. Iwaizumi’s feeling more than just a hint of nerves. In fact he’s so jittery his heartbeat might actually be audible in the quiet hallway. 

Step by step they’re crawling closer to the room at the very end of the hall, and step by step they’re inching closer to what is quite definitely Trouble with a capital T in the form of a high school boy. 

Scratch that. 

That’s capital T in the form of an  _ extremely appealing  _ high school boy. 

Iwaizumi has to make the addendum, because what greets them as they peek into the cracked doorway of the drama room is probably the most tantalizing view he’s ever seen in his life. 

And Iwaizumi has watched a  _ lot  _ of a porn. 

What greets them is the sight of the illusive Kageyama alright. He’s on his knees in front of that infamous couch, sucking off the lucky guy of the day. Kageyama’s got his back to the two of them so they have the perfect view of Kageyama fingering himself with the hand that isn’t on lucky guy’s hip, keeping him in place. 

Voyeurism hadn't been on the shortlist of Iwaizumi's kinks, but as he watches the lucky guy tug at Kageyama's dark hair and fuck into his mouth with quick, desperate strokes, Iwaizumi begins to feel just a little hot under the collar.

And that heat threatens to immolate them both as they awkwardly crouch in the doorway, rooted in place as if by magic. 

Iwaizumi knows he shouldn't be watching. Shouldn't be watching the way Kageyama arches his back so he can thrust his three slicked up fingers deeper into himself. The muffled moan the action elicits is something Iwaizumi also knows he shouldn't have listened to because now it's harder to ignore that he's growing half-hard in his pants. 

And the battle between his brain and dick gets that much harder (no pun intended) when Kageyama pulls away with a wet pop audible from even where they're standing. He stands up only to push the other guy to stretch out along the length of the couch to straddle his knees without hesitation. 

Kageyama splays a hand flat on Lucky Guy's chest a slow, seductive smile pulling at his swollen lips. In that moment, as he rolls his hips down fluidly--clad in only his unbuttoned uniform shirt revealing a surprising amount of muscle tone--Iwaizumi cannot question Kageyama's status as a sex god. 

Oikawa makes a low, yearning noise to himself, the first noise he’s made in minutes--hours? Time seems to be warping all around them. Iwaizumi spares Oikawa a glance, and he’s somewhat comforted to find the brunette in a similar state of distress. 

But immediately his attention is yanked right back to Kageyama, who’s now whispering into lucky guy’s ear. Iwaizumi can’t hear what’s being said but he can only imagine the filth pouring out of those sinfully upturned lips that’s causing Lucky Guy to grab at Kageyama’s hips and ass with a desperation that’s nearly palpable. 

And then with practiced ease Kageyama’s pulling back to reach behind himself to steady Lucky Guy’s condom-covered dick. He needs no assistance to line himself up, and Kageyama offers another wicked grin before he’s pressing down on Lucky Guy’s cock, adjusting like a champ. 

If Iwaizumi and Oikawa thought what they had seen before was unbearable in the best way, they are quickly proved wrong. Absolutely, totally  _ wrong.  _

Kageyama sets the pace, riding Lucky Guy into the couch with a kind of controlled intensity that’s beautiful in its own way. He alternates between rolling his hips and using his powerful thighs to lift himself up just to slam back down. 

At this point Iwaizumi can’t deny he’s almost fully hard in the middle of the hallway on what was supposed to be a normal Thursday. This self-acceptance only brings more torture, because just as Iwaizumi accepts his (kinda accidental) voyeuristic truth Kageyama takes the hand that was clenching the back of the couch for balance to wrap around his neglected cock. 

Briefly his hips stutter in their movements, but Kageyama wastes no time jerking himself off even as he bounces on Lucky Guy’s cock. Speaking of him...Lucky Guy seemed to be content in taking what Kageyama was giving him, opting to hold on to angular hips and stare up in awe rather than take the initiative. 

But it must be something about the wanton way Kageyama thrusts into the tight circle of his hand that unleashes a dominant side. He tightens the grip he has on Kageyama’s ass, pulling him down as the thrusts his hips upwards. 

“Oh  _ fuck!”  _ Kageyama gasps, throwing his head back breathily. Next comes a steady litany of high-pitched moans; the pleasure seems to have increased tenfold, and he can no longer bite his lips to stifle the noises.

And it’s the fucked out moans that has Iwaizumi tearing himself from where they’ve been watching; he’s sure if he watches anymore he’s gonna need a change of pants and possibly change schools. 

“Where the fuck are you going, idiot?” Oikawa hisses, jumping out of the way as Iwaizumi makes his desperate escape. Iwaizumi doesn’t answer, just throws open the door of the supply closet next door. 

He doesn’t really care where he ends up. He just needs a place completely devoid Kageyama fucking Tobio and his amazing thighs and ass and  _ everything.  _ As he’s closing the door Oikawa barges inside at the last second, nearly crashing into Iwaizumi. 

“Watch it!” Iwaizumi tries to back up, but only ends up smacking his head against a metal shelf he can only barely make out in the dim gloom of the closet. 

Oikawa’s miffed expression is clear even half in darkness. It might have something to do with the fact that the closet’s so cramped they have no choice but to stand toe to toe. “Well excuse me! You’re the one that got up and ran like you saw a fire! What the hell’s your problem?”

Where to even begin to answer that question. 

Iwaizumi deigns not to reply, too embarrassed and prideful to admit that he’s half delirious from arousal like some kind of sex crazed pervert. Somehow Oikawa manages to interpret the silence as such. 

Brazenly he moves forward, effectively trapping Iwaizumi against the shelf and pressing his own clothed erection against him in the process. Almost instantly Iwaizumi’s knees grow weak, and Oikawa wastes no time in exploiting this. 

“Oh, Iwa-chan are you really that turned on just from watching?” he grins, but he’s not waiting for an answer. Not with the way he leans down the few centimeters between them to press scalding hot kisses down the length of Iwaizumi’s neck. 

The bastard knows that’s his weak spot, and Iwaizumi lets a soft, muffled moan escape him before he can stop himself. He can feel Oikawa grin against his skin, equal parts tempting and smug. Iwiazumi should just haul off and deck him in the face, but his conscience prevents him from doing so. That and Oikawa’s hand already palming at him through his pants. 

It feels good--too good--which is why Iwaizumi is momentarily swept away, not only letting Oikawa kiss him senseless, but kissing back with just as much fervor. He has the feeling he’ll regret this. The two of them have a bad habit of fighting like cats and dogs approximately two weeks after trying to take their friendship into a physical realm. 

But making good decisions isn’t something either one of seem capable of at this point, that is until Oikawa unzips Iwaizumi’s pants. The sudden noise of the zipper manages to startle Iwaizumi out of whatever semi-hypnotized state he’d been put under. 

“W-we can’t do this here,” Iwaizumi croaks. Oikawa pulls back immediately, but he’s still grinning in good humor. “I’m serious you bastard. Lunch is almost over and I’m not gonna be caught with your hand down my pants.”

“That’s fine,” Oikawa says breezily, and just as Iwaizumi begins to relax, the brunette leans in close to mutter lowly, “We can finish this up at your house, right?”

Instead of answering Iwaizumi bullies his way past Oikawa reaching the door and tumbling back into the still deserted hallway. The first thing he notices is that it’s quiet next door now, and when he turns to the left he notices Lucky Guy sauntering away back to the main building with a totally casual spring in his step. 

Which means…

Iwaizumi takes a moment to debate with himself on whether or not they should go into that room. On one hand they were kinda personally invited to meet Kageyama, but on the other hand he’s certain that Kageyama could look at him funny and he would burst into horny flames right there. 

The hesitation is short lived because yet again Oikawa wastes no time in marching right into the action. Iwaizumi gapes then frantically follows behind. 

Kageyama’s blessedly still there, perched on an errant desk in the middle of the room. He’s still only in his shirt--buttoned now (thank god), wiping down the inside of this thighs with a paper towel. As they enter the room fully Kageyama looks up, eyes instantly lighting up with recognition. 

“Oh, so you showed up!” Kageyama smiles before tapping his skin thoughtfully. “Don’t tell me, I know this. You’re Oikawa…” here he points at Oikawa then Iwaizumi, “And you’re Iwaizumi!”

“How…?” Iwaizumi manages, voice shot because Kageyama’s normal speaking voice is just as attractive as the rest of him, and that’s kinda fucking him up. 

“I may or may not have a list of every attractive third year here, and one or both of you may have been my next marks.”

Oikawa positively preens at the information. He tries to turn on the charm, leaning against the desk and throwing a flirty grin. “But you lucked out and we ended up on your radar earlier.” It was a smooth delivery, but Oikawa falters when Kageyama eyes him up and down, licking his lips. The hand Oikawa has propped up on the desk slips, nearly sending him toppling to the floor. 

“Actually…” Kageyama laughs, eyes crinkling a bit in a corners and shoulders shaking just slightly. “I’d say the two of you are the lucky ones.”

Iwaizumi would have to agree.  

“I had hoped we’d have a bit more time to...get to know each other,” Kageyama admits, hopping off the desk to stand before Oikawa. With a casual ease Iwaizumi can only hope to possess, Kageyama reaches a hand around to shove into the brunette’s back pocket to snag his phone. Not without giving his butt a friendly squeeze first. “Ooooo, perky!”

Iwaizumi can practically pinpoint the moment Oikawa realizes and accepts he is no match for Kageyama. 

The younger taps away at Oikawa’s phone--adding his phone number as he later explains. Iwaizumi damn near passes out. Everyone made Kageyama out to be some kind of elusive and decidedly  _ exclusive  _ with who he gives the time of day. 

Yet here he is giving Oikawa his phone number casually like there wasn’t at least twenty other people on campus willing to kill or be killed for it. And then this miracle (or vivid dream) extends itself when Kageyama turns to Iwaizumi as well. 

He makes his way over, and Iwaizumi can’t help but to glance down at his long tanned legs, jerking his eyes upwards when Kageyama stops in front of him with an outstretched arm. Iwaizumi scrambles to pull his phone out of his pocket with faintly shaky hands, thus dropping it in the process. 

Either Iwaizumi’s klutz routine is just something expected or Kageyama’s dealt with hordes of desperate gays forgetting how to function in his presence, because he doesn’t even flinch as the phone drops. He merely chuckles, bending down to pick up the dropped phone. 

Iwaizumi stands there frozen as Oikawa continues in vain to lay down the charm while Kageyama fields his advances while tapping away at Iwaizumi’s phone. Eventually he finishes, returning the phone, but before Iwaizumi can pocket it Kageyama steps even closer to clasp his hands gently on Iwaizumi’s shoulders. 

“Are you always this stiff, Iwaizumi-senpai?” he asks, and there’s no question that there’s a not-so-hidden double meaning there. 

“Uh...no?” It comes out more of a question, and it’s nowhere near Iwaizumi’s proudest moments. Especially when Oikawa laughs at his awkwardness, not even trying to hide it. 

Kageyama moves his hands from Iwaizumi’s shoulders to his cheeks, squishing them a bit. “You’re cute,” he says matter of factly. Iwaizumi knows his face is red, he can feel the heat spreading down his neck, and Kageyama’s hands are cool in contrast. 

And then just like that Kageyama’s turning away back towards the couch to slip back into his pants. One of his socks are missing, and of course Oikawa swings into action, gallantly rescuing it from underneath the couch. 

He even goes out of the way to offer and help Kageyama put it on. Even Iwaizumi has to roll his eyes at the  _ extraness.  _ But Kageyama doesn’t seem to mind. He just laughs again, reaching up to pat Oikawa on the cheek as well. 

“You’re cute too,” he grins, before sauntering away towards the door. The lunch bell should ring at any moment. But before Kageyama leaves he turns back to say something else. “We’re out of time today, but I’m always here on breaks. You’ll visit me tomorrow, right? Or would you rather I joined when the two of you finish what you started later on?”

Iwaizumi  _ gapes.  _

At their confusion Kageyama points at Iwaizumi, “Your fly’s down.” The bell rings then, and Kageyama gives them another flirty grin before he disappears down the hall, his laugh trailing behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter took so long bc i've been tired all day every day for like weeks LMAOOOOO. but it's done and i love slut au and i love flirty kageyama so this was all worth it.... i don't think i have anything else to say bc for once i'm not updating at 4am hence no tired rambling. idk what the next chapter's gonna be abt. probably smut.

**Author's Note:**

> i've always wanted to do a drabble series so here i am! who knows when i'll update again bc i'm v unpredicable. feel free to shoot me ideas on [ tumblr!](http://stellarsketches.tumblr.com)


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